Tidbits and Groaners II

[Lenny]

Isn't it funny how Facebook asks what's on my mind then puts me in Facebook jail for saying it?

Yeah, they are VERY narrow-minded.

Everything conservatives say 'goes against their community standards'. Imagine what would happen if some conservatives opened up a social media and everything liberals said went against THEIR community standards. The news medias, including Faux News, would be enraged!

 

[NorthernRedneck]

My son asked me for gas money so I farted in his wallet.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

I'm not addicted to brake fluid. I can stop anytime I want.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

We had corn for dinner tonight.

I told the kids...it's not "so long", it's "I'll be seeing you later!"

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[pirate_girl]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

Better to fart while pooping then to poop while farting.

 

[Lenny]

Better to fart while pooping then to poop while farting.

Another one of them ol' Indian sayings you made up?

 

[pirate_girl]

 

[laulau15]

View attachment 134797

Sorting out the wheat from the charf

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[Smilingreen]

A bit of British humour.......

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

Why do women have to cook for their men?

Because by law, all prisoners must be fed

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

I heard Walmart is giving out free turkeys to everyone who can outrun the security cameras.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

My kid was complaining that it's cold in the house. I told her to go stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

Do you realize that there's more planes in the water than there are boats in the sky?

 

[NorthernRedneck]

This year went by so fast that I didn't even have time to start my diet.

 

[Doc]

 

[FTG-05]

View attachment 185995

 

[NorthernRedneck]

Damned commies in Ottawa

 

[NorthernRedneck]

I have a collection of watches. I attached them all together to make a belt.

It was a waist of time.

 

[FrancSevin]

Ok, here's a few facepalm/groan jokes:

Q: What do you call a fake macaroni?
A: An im-pasta!

Q: What do you call a group of Killer Whales playing instruments?
A: An Orca-stra!

Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the Halloween dance?
A: He had no body to go with!

 

[Doc]

Q: What's an Asian woman's favorite holiday that only come around once every 4 years?

A: Erection Day