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Tidbits and Groaners II
- Thread starter Doc
- Start date
My wife and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at McDonald's
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We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...
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I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
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IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.
My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
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We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
*******************************************
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.
My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
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I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
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The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
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The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
On getting old....
We just bought a new artificial Christmas tree 🎄.
It actually came with a warning label "Not to be used longer than 90 days each year" 😅
It actually came with a warning label "Not to be used longer than 90 days each year" 😅
If you pee on an electric fence, urine charge, urine shock and urine pain.
I’m not sayin’’ I’m old, but…..
Our school had Drivers Ed and Sex Education in the same car
Our school had Drivers Ed and Sex Education in the same car
I've had arguments with feminists about this. They say prostitution is immoral. I told them a woman has a right to her body. That really pissed them off. LOL
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Did you know that the outside edge of your eyebrows line up with your nipples?
(Just picturing a few of you checking this out in the mirror)🤣
(Just picturing a few of you checking this out in the mirror)🤣
Mine don't. This explains why I am such a nonconformist.
I have the power to control your mind for about 10 seconds.
I just did. 😉
I just did. 😉
My wife was shocked when she learned she's not a good electrician. 😕
As a young boy, I learned everything I know about electricity from my father.
My wife learned my dad wasn't a good electrician the same way.
Shocking!