Hidden Engagement

[Spilling Her Heart]

Yeah, me too.

I really do appreciate your time. Thank you

 

[Spilling Her Heart]

Another point of interest about divorced people is they tend to feel more comfortable around personalies they were married to.

What bugs you now in this relationship will bug you after the marriage.
He's sees no reason to change so why should he.
Manipulators always make you feel like you have a problem not them.
An old saying comes to mind "Love is deaf and blind" and I see this
in couples that talk about relationships and marriages. No offence
intended.
What you see in my posts was learned over 20 years ago and
are still relivant.
If you buy a house, car, or other major items we do research. Why
not what goes into marragies to help them work.
Marrage is a relationship that requires 150% from both partners.
I still suggest counseling for you even if he refuses to go, which
might show is his love real.

We agreed on many things before even discussing marriage and premarital counseling was one of them. We are not rushing into this and each step forward can come easy or be a process of negotiation. We have the same views on most issues but can certainly have our moments of a difference in opinion.

 

[Spilling Her Heart]

Now where have I heard that before??? Oh yes, it was me. In my dark and dingy past, during my playboy phase, I must have used it a thousand times. It worked about 80% of the time which isn't bad. It meant that I got laid 4 times out of 5. I'm sorry but I don't have a very high opinion of your boyfriend. He's a manipulator. JMHO.

Only he knows if he can be really trust worthy. I can not follow him around 24/7 to validate the things he is trying to tell me. Time shows all…and since we are taking our time these things should come to light before any real commitment has been made. We have been dating 3 years and will not actually be married for another 2. We both own homes and have obligations.

 

[EastTexFrank]

Ya think so Frank?

Yup. He's stringing her along as a steady source of nookey until something better comes along. It's taken him 3 years to get to this point and no firm commitment for at least another 2 years. That sounds like unbridled love and passion to me.

I really need to write that book about the male psyche called, "THE GAME", what every young man should know and what every young woman MUST know. The first line would be, " A man, especially a young man, will do anything, say anything, be anybody you want in order to get laid". It's a bit cynical but in my life's experience it's true far more often than it's not.

I'm sure all of our female members have met the type at some time in their lives.

 

[Cowboyjg]

Is this person a troll?

I'm with PG on this one. I too, thought that and still wonder but won't dwell because that sort of thing doesn't bother me like it does some. For me it's kinda like changing the channel. Click.

I think it's important to keep in mind that we may never know the outcome of this person's adventure.

Hidden....you have become somewhat redundant in your defense of your approach and as much as I respect your choice to do with your life what you will, that fence post must be getting awfully uncomfortable by now.

One part of me believes that secretly you'd like to wake up tomorrow and have had all this be nothing more than a bad dream. The other part says this is all a set up. Neither one of these will keep me from sleeping well, so to quote a famous red headed brat....

Good luck.

 

[Spilling Her Heart]

Is this person a troll?

I'm with PG on this one. I too, thought that and still wonder but won't dwell because that sort of thing doesn't bother me like it does some. For me it's kinda like changing the channel. Click.

I think it's important to keep in mind that we may never know the outcome of this person's adventure.

Hidden....you have become somewhat redundant in your defense of your approach and as much as I respect your choice to do with your life what you will, that fence post must be getting awfully uncomfortable by now.

One part of me believes that secretly you'd like to wake up tomorrow and have had all this be nothing more than a bad dream. The other part says this is all a set up. Neither one of these will keep me from sleeping well, so to quote a famous red headed brat....

Good luck.

What's a troll?

I am comfortable with my approach. I was looking for opinions to help me see clearly outside of my own perspective. I got those opinions and thanks.


A set up? For what? I'm being set up? You? What is the set up and who is to gain from it? Conspiracy theorist?

 

[Spilling Her Heart]

Yup. He's stringing her along as a steady source of nookey until something better comes along. It's taken him 3 years to get to this point and no firm commitment for at least another 2 years. That sounds like unbridled love and passion to me.

I really need to write that book about the male psyche called, "THE GAME", what every young man should know and what every young woman MUST know. The first line would be, " A man, especially a young man, will do anything, say anything, be anybody you want in order to get laid". It's a bit cynical but in my life's experience it's true far more often than it's not.

I'm sure all of our female members have met the type at some time in their lives.

That is some VERY expensive nookie. I feel completely jipped now on the nookie given sans diamond ring in the past. I didn’t know that’s how it works….Should have read that book!

 

[Spilling Her Heart]

Is this person a troll?

I'm with PG on this one. I too, thought that and still wonder but won't dwell because that sort of thing doesn't bother me like it does some. For me it's kinda like changing the channel. Click.

I think it's important to keep in mind that we may never know the outcome of this person's adventure.

Hidden....you have become somewhat redundant in your defense of your approach and as much as I respect your choice to do with your life what you will, that fence post must be getting awfully uncomfortable by now.

One part of me believes that secretly you'd like to wake up tomorrow and have had all this be nothing more than a bad dream. The other part says this is all a set up. Neither one of these will keep me from sleeping well, so to quote a famous red headed brat....

Good luck.

OK... sorry for being so dumb when it comes to forums. I have NEVER been on one before. My intentions were honest. Just wanted a third opinion. By the way.. no need to explain "troll". I asked my man and he laughed. Since he is more privy to the forum lingo than I. I have since been educated and no, I am not a troll. Sorry to have stirred anyone up.

 

[nixon]

^^^ no need to apologize . I really doubt that anyone here seriously considers You to be a Troll . Most likely ,they don't understand Your situation .

 

[Spilling Her Heart]

Awe... thanks Nixon.

 

[Doc]

Like Nixon said, no need to apologize. We've been around since 2005 and seen lots of trolls. I sure did not think you were a troll, but someone looking for some other opinions. To see if they matched up with yours or your fiances.
I've kept up with the thread. Of all the suggestions, counseling sounds like the best one of all. And like someone pointed out, even if your fiance will not participate it would most likely do you good to go on your own.
Good luck and keep us posted of things when you can.

 

[jpr62902]

Yup. He's stringing her along as a steady source of nookey until something better comes along. It's taken him 3 years to get to this point and no firm commitment for at least another 2 years. That sounds like unbridled love and passion to me.

I really need to write that book about the male psyche called, "THE GAME", what every young man should know and what every young woman MUST know. The first line would be, " A man, especially a young man, will do anything, say anything, be anybody you want in order to get laid". It's a bit cynical but in my life's experience it's true far more often than it's not.

I'm sure all of our female members have met the type at some time in their lives.

Hayzoose, Frank. How long has it been since you've been in the dating game?

They're both divorced and in their mid 30's, not early 20's. People are much more cautious at this point in their lives.

The guy's probably just trying to walk a perceived tightrope as best as he knows how.

And to SHH, welcome to FF and bless you for your patience with both your fiance and Frank.

 

[EastTexFrank]

Times change, technology changes but not human nature.

I think I partially agree with PG. I think she is stringing us all along. Goodbye.

 

[Spilling Her Heart]

Things are going a bit better. We have talked through my concerns and he has expressed his own. There was a minor hoop that she wanted him to jump through this week and he declined only to have it backfire in a little retaliation. Hmm... perhaps he is right? Maybe there is no right or wrong. Maybe there just has to be a common ground for all to find by working through it as we go? I don't know guys. But thanks so much for listening, and voicing your opinions. Even you Sushine-EastTex