Tidbits and Groaners II

[NorthernRedneck]

Due to inflation, a 69 will now be known as a 96.

The cost of eating out has gone up.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

 

[Lenny]

Someone ripped the 5th month out my new 2022 calendar.
I'm dismayed.

 

[PGBC]

Trees are in bud already.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

My wife gave birth to a Baby boy in the back seat of our car. I named him “ Carson”.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[Doc]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

I was looking at watches on ebay.

I didn't have enough time to decide what I wanted so I added several to my watchlist.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[FrancSevin]

View attachment 145553

Bring your tuo tuo's to work
It's a two two day

 

[waybomb]

Bring your tuo tuo's to work
It's a two two day

Not sure what a Tuo Tuo is, but I dare you. No, I double dare you.

 

[echo]

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue.
I'm f.ing bored
Ground Traffic Control
Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself
Unknown aircraft
I said i was f.ing bored,
not f.ing stupid.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[echo]

O'Hare:
United 329 heavy traffic, your traffic is a Fokker one o'clock, three miles, eastbound.
United:
approach, I'v always wanted to say this................
I'v got the little Fokker in sight

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[Ironman]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

Never argue with left handed people.
They're not right.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

I once was a man trapped in a woman's body.












Then I was born.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

I filled up a full tank of gas for $27 today.










(It was for a weed Wacker but I'm trying to stay positive)

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[Ironman]

I got an email today asking $19.95 to teach me how to read maps backwards. It turned out to be spam.

 

[echo]

I got an email today asking $19.95 to teach me how to read maps backwards. It turned out to be spam.

Whoever started that will be rich by Friday.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

I was tired yesterday. Today I'm tired again.

Does that make me retired?