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I pee off my back porch

Ray

Ray

Member
My wife thinks this is wrong.

My dogs pee outside all the time.

Sometimes we do a group pee on the back oak tree.....

Its a mans right to pee off the portch aint it?

I never drip a drop on the portch.....always hit the grass.
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

Hey Ray, sounds like your going to fit in nicely here on FF.

We had a thread not to long back where a few of us were bragging that we can pee out back anytime cause no neighbors or passerby s could see us.

If you are doing it in the midst of a development or community your wife might have a point. Lets hope that is not the case. :D

ps. SIL used to live in Kingwood. I was there a couple of times ....over 10 years ago.
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

Ray said:
I never drip a drop on the portch.....always hit the grass.
Click to expand...


Sounds to me like your bragging :4_11_9: :yum:


If you got a big enough place to do that then do it. I always did it on the farm we just never had a porch. But as kids we use to have contest inside the grain bins to see who could shoot the farthest. It seemed to me the ones with the little ones could always shoot the farthest thus I never won. :yum:
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

What waste, you could be out marking the whole yard.... who wants to just lay claim to a porch... Sounds like the dog has more ownership rights except for the Oak tree and porch.

If the wife objects, then piss on the corners of the porch and you can blame it on the dog....:thumb:
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

I pee off the front porch ............... ha ha ................ :yum:
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

free the pee:yum: :yum:

just remember to wash it down as it kills the grass.
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

Been peeing off back AND front poarch all my life! Ya gotta LOVE the country life!! :poke: :thumb:
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

For distance, total velocity and ground effects the second floor deck is hard to beat....:yum:
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

Today I decided to pee off the top of my house. My backyard has a deck and from the deck it's easy to climb on top of my house, so as I was peeing, my next door neighbor came out and all I've to say is I'm sorry he was totally in the way!:yum: :yum:
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

All this pee talk reminds me of an incident that happened with my dad a few years ago.

My dad is a truck driver hauling logs in the bush. He's got a colostomy($hit) bag.(he had colitis and had to have his colon removed in the mid 90's) Anyway, one day, he was on top his load of logs doing up his cables when he decided to empty his bag from the top of his load on the ground. I guess it kinda splattered all over. He continued on with his cables after that.

Wait, it gets better! His haul forman(whom he didn't really care to much for in the first place) pulled up in a pickup and got out then started looking around my dads trailer at his load. My dad claims he saw him bend down and stick his finger in the brown stuff all over the ground, smell it, then look up to him and say, "Geez, this mud looks a bit different than the rest of the ground around here!"

My dad almost fell off his load of logs laughing his a$$ off!


True story!
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

If I peed of my balcony, there would be 60 apartment in view of me. Plus the folks on the ground.... the pool..... the apartments across from the pool. :wave:

1001360co2.jpg
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

Good story Brian. Rep points for you. :)
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

Doc, is that Kingwood, WV you are referring to?

I peed off my back deck once and the wife told me to quit pissing in the pool:pat: .

Funny story about my 5 year old (actually turns 5 tomorrow), we were out in the yard and he had to pee. We told him to go on the other side of the play house and pee, well he misunderstood and went on the other side of the play house and let her fly. On that side the road goes by 200 feet away and of course he dropped his pants almost to his ankles.
When we are in the pool and he has to pee, he would go down at the bottom of the steps of the deck and pee over in the little stone around the outside heatpump unit. Now that the dog runs loose all the time in the yard, he just pees off the deck and his cousin (same age) didn't know that and walked out from under the deck into the stream and said "Hey it's raining" :4_11_9: Couldn't stop laughing for anything, the little feller was quite upset when he found out what really happened!!!!!!
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

Was over at my sister-in-law's visiting during the holidays this year. They've got two girls and we've got two boys. Well, things got kinda quiet which made us wonder what the kids were up to. I found my youngest son(3) in the bathroom trying to teach my youngest neice(4) how to pee standing up. Funniest thing I've seen in a while.
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

Ray said:
My wife thinks this is wrong.

My dogs pee outside all the time.

Sometimes we do a group pee on the back oak tree.....

Its a mans right to pee off the portch aint it?

I never drip a drop on the portch.....always hit the grass.
Click to expand...

Drives my wife up the wall when I'm in the house and I go outside to pee.

Once a year I'll also use the push mower on a small section of the lawn, doing it buck butt naked except for wearing a pair of boots just because I can, and it feels good, particularly in the rain:D
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

thinks like that make me wish I had a penis...I'd pee in the damn parking lot if I had a penis....damned vaginas.
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

Deadly Sushi said:
If I peed of my balcony, there would be 60 apartment in view of me. Plus the folks on the ground.... the pool..... the apartments across from the pool. :wave:

1001360co2.jpg
Click to expand...

I say we take a poll to see how many people want Sushi to pee off his balcony :coolshade
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

OhioTC18 said:
He lives in Chicago. Would anyone notice? They're all inside tonight. :poke:
Click to expand...
Given the weather outside tonight, I think it would just end up being a yellow icicle down the side of his building.
:pee_smilie:
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

My question is can he even get it to pee over the balcony ??? What if it is too short ? Maybe use a ladder .... a tall one .:yum: :yum:
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

I pee anywhere I want on my property (have plenty of woods and no neighbors to laugh at me :o ). The only real trouble I have is the complaints from the wife about it is I and not the dog that is burning the grass :4_11_9: . An additional benefit is I can practice target shooting silently :pee_smilie: . With all the recent cold
and windy weather I do have to be careful about frost nip :eek: . Jay

PS: To the female members- with practice I believe that women too can shoot straight so to speak. I had a woman patient in the psychiatric hospital where I worked that used the men's urinals better than most the men (clean shot) and she did not have to shake nor dance afterwards :coolshade . Jay :yum:
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

Do you know that Gophers and Ground hogs do not like the scent of human urine. I have found it a great help this past summer. Particularly in the wifes flower bed out front where they were eating her pansies...:4_11_9:
 
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Re: I pee off my back portch

I wonder if I can convince my wife that I should be doing "gopher prevention" in our backyard. My next door neighbor wouldn't mind a bit.
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

Cowboyjg said:
Do you know that Gophers and Ground hogs do not like the scent of human urine. I have found it a great help this past summer. Particularly in the wifes flower bed out front where they were eating her pansies...:4_11_9:
Click to expand...

It would be an easier way to keep the grass from getting too high around the front door and under windows. You can save time on weed eating
:poke:
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

NRAfemale said:
It would be an easier way to keep the grass from getting too high around the front door and under windows. You can save time on weed eating
:poke:
Click to expand...

I'm afraid it would be too acidic for the roses (under windows) and I have a wrap around porch so there are no weeds outside the front door...

Thanks for the tip though...:tiphat:
 
Re: I pee off my back portch

A thread about peeing... I should have joined sooner... I pee all over my place too. Best part is.. so does my wife... We can get home, park in the driveway and down come her pants to pee in the grass. All she has to do it walk in the house and the bathroom is right there... it cracks me up... of course our 5 y/o daughter has gotten the same way.. she gets busy outside with the dogs and horses and she pees where ever she is. I OTOH have a different strange compulsion. If I drink beer at your house to any level of intoxication... I WILL relieve myself on one or more of you bushes/trees before I leave. It does not matter how cold it is. Something about drinkin beer that tells me I need to pee outside. Similarly at home if I am drinkin and watchin TV with the wife I will go out the front door and pee off the porch rather than goin to the bathroom. If I don't pause the DVR I can see the TV still if I want to....
 
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