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I am a JERK and it makes me smile!

He only has 1 sign that is on the property line that abuts my parking lot area. That is the only sign that I can block with my truck. The properties are on a state highway and there is no street parking so there is no way to put trucks in front of his property or his other signs unless I actually park ON his property, which, of course, I cannot do.

Realize that the point of all this is to try to get my business back and turn a profit. I'm willing to be a jerk, but the fact is that I'm losing a few thousand dollars a week and need to use this truck as a "SIGN" so that I can generate business. The fact that I can block his sign and be a jerk about it is just icing on the cake. Again, I didn't start the problems, and the real problems exist between this one guy and my landlord, I just got stuck in the middle of it all.
 
Very tough signage laws here. What is allowed by the town board is very undersized and inadaquate. Many local businesses have had tandem and single axle box trailers (Haulmark, wells cargo, etc...) turned into very tastefully done signs, which are much larger than the allowed signs. These are parked in the parking lot of the business and moved periodically to avoid zoning issues. If anything is said, the business owner claims that it is a delivery vehicle with advertising, which is just good business. All DMV requirements are kept up on these trailers so they can't dispute that. Typically the zoning officer just walks back to his little pick up truck shaking his head, mumbling something, and you never see him again..
 
OK here is an update . . .

The photo below shows the truck with SOME of the paint. The door is not finished yet, that needs to have the bright yellow applied to it so I'll have to do a lot of masking later today to protect the surrounding paint. I didn't know what I was going to do with the door but then got somewhat inspired last night and figured the yellow stripe could be turned into an arrow. The arroow is already complete on the other side of the truck, but I don't have the red or black paint applied the other side. Not sure what the front will get painted. I'm leaning toward red? The back doors will probably be bisected red on the bottom half and black on the top half.

I've not quite figured out how to mount the signs, but I've got a few ideas. These are just taped up with masking tape to check the placement and alignment. Above the signs will be the extra bold lettering spelling out the words SMOKE SHOP in highly reflective lettering.

All of this was done with some masking tape and a few cans of Rust-o-leum :tiphat:
 

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Bob.. I think you should paint the van up w/ a cow or zebra pattern.. then you could make a face on the front of the van.. and the butt on the back!

You could build a huge ciggerette and have it mounted on top of the van like the pesticide guys w/ the bug on top.

A pink cow would more annoying.. or paint the whole van fluorescent orange!
 
Bob, go to Lowes (or where ever) and buy some stuff from 3M called Super 77. Spray it on the back of the sign and to the side of the truck. It'll hold the signs to the side of the truck. I used it rebuilding our camper door and I glued my hand to the fiberglass.:pat: Took some pulling to get it off. I felt like Tim the Tool Man.
 
kensfarm said:
Bob.. I think you should paint the van up w/ a cow or zebra pattern.. then you could make a face on the front of the van.. and the butt on the back!

You could build a huge ciggerette and have it mounted on top of the van like the pesticide guys w/ the bug on top.

A pink cow would more annoying.. or paint the whole van fluorescent orange!
Click to expand...

The cow idea is great . . . but where were you with the suggestions before I bought all the paint :pat:
 
Sorry Bob.. busy week at work.. I know.. I'm kinda late in the game.. but you could still build a big cigg out of PVC pipe!

Would the owner let you put one of those huge blow-up displays on the roof like a "Bob's Big Boy".. those are real eye catchers. I think you can rent them.
 
jwstewar said:
Bob, go to Lowes (or where ever) and buy some stuff from 3M called Super 77.
Click to expand...
That's exactly the stuff I was thinking of but I don't know if he could get the signs off if/when he wanted to replace. I guess he could just put any new signs over the old.

BTW Bob, this is a spray-on adhesive.

If your signs/posters are all the same size, can you install a track frame and just slide them in?

I'm not in your shoes but my concern would be your friendly neighbor ripping your signs off the truck. Hmmm, I wonder if you should paint something about his store under your signs. If he tore off your signs, there would then be something derogatory about his place underneath.
 
How about a large red tipped cigarette made of 8" pvc pipe at a 45 degree angle mounted on top, with an internal fog machine so it smokes ?

(you could later turn the pvc into a large potato gun that shoots cantelopes ! )

That may be helpful if things get ugly !!
 
The signs must be removeable so I need something that allows me to change them. I have a temporary solution, I'm going to use a commercial grade of Velcro because I have access to it and want to get the truck put into place no later than Saturday at noon.

However, I want to look for some sort of frame or tracks that I can use to make it easier to change the signs, but also would be very secure for holding them in place.
 
B_Skurka said:
However, I want to look for some sort of frame or tracks that I can use to make it easier to change the signs, but also would be very secure for holding them in place.
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:pat:
I wish this happened about 3 weeks ago... I just sent a whole bunch of (like new) track material specifically for signs to the scrap yard.
 
Love the cigarette idea! BOB you have to do that! Puts a the cigarette with the cherry end towards the back and have it wired into the brake system. Use red leds and alot of them. The everytime someone hits the brakes the cherry glows red! Then when its parked have the "flashers" left on accidently every now and then like around your busiest times. What an attention getter!
 
Can You See Me Now? :moon:
 

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Bob, put me down for a pack of Marlboros. I don't smoke, but I like the sign so much I can't resist. I hear they are good for removing hemorrhoids.:moon:
By the way, which sign of the A-hole are you blocking?
Bone
 
Reminds me of what I did with my big red truck. After I started taping and showing county commission meetings on the local cable access channel, I started getting constant ordinance violation notices over piddling things. One complained that my truck, parked in my walled back yard, was considered an inoperative vehicle because it had a flat tire. In the notice it said that the ordinance required inoperative vehicles to have a tarp on them. So, I moved the truck to the side yard where it was visible to the main road, put it up on stands, and took all of the tires off. Oh, and I put a tarp over the cab. Now they could look at an ugly neighborhood eyesore, but it was within code and nothing they could legally do about it.
:thumb:

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to my neighbors, except for the weenies that voted for the other weenies.
:moon:
 
My landlord called. First words out of his mouth: YOU DON'T MESS AROUND! Then he congradulated me, laughed a lot and generally thought it was the best thing he's seen since the invention of sliced bread or Burma Shave.

What I know is that I have under $4000 invested in that big eyesore and I got it put in place in 9 days from the date the whole pile of crap started up between the landlord and the idiot next door. On the other hand, to get a sign installed would take at least 6 weeks, more likely 9. A sign would have been much smaller, would have cost $7000 to $9000 with permits, and would not have the visual impact of the truck!
 
BOB now you should put a PVC Cigarett or a cigarette carton on top to block the rest of his sign or at least break it up! Not my idea (TOMLESCOEQUIP
<< 13# 33" walleye 8/5/07) but it fits perfectly!
 
Bob, I know you probably already thought of this but if you have to move the truck to comply with some stupid ordinance, make sure that you put something else there temporarily until you can move the truck back. I am assuming that your enemy (or is that enima?) is not allowed to park there since it is your landlords parking lot.
While I am thinking of it, how about hiring some low-life looking types (with greasy hair, tatoos, etc) to hold some signs directing them to your enemy's establishment?
Bonehead
 
I already have a deal worked out with the other tenants in the building, nobody but me gets to park in that spot.

I also figure that we need to move the truck around every few days. There are two more spots on the other side of the entrance that are reserved for my employees, so the truck can go into one of those spots one day a week.
 
BoneheadNW said:
While I am thinking of it, how about hiring some low-life looking types (with greasy hair, tatoos, etc) to hold some signs directing them to your enemy's establishment?
Bonehead
Click to expand...

Or, that could be another way around the sign issue that might work in conjunction with the truck. Hire some folks to carry a hand held sign outside during heavy traffic hours. A local Little Caesars has been doing that for years, so I suppose it is working for them.
 
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