Purtier than a new set of snow tires

[PineRidge]

Slipperier than snot on a doorknob......

 

[BoneheadNW]

Laying a cable/dropping a log - carrying out a certain bodily function in the wild

For the same bodily function:
Droppin the boys off at the pool
Takin a grunt
Doin' a Willie Wonka

For vomiting:
Driving the bus
praying to the porcellin god
technicolor yawn
coughin' your cookies

 

[dzalphakilo]

Fu*#in As#$hole seems to be a "universal" term no matter what state you're in

 

[JimR]

Colder than a witches tits
Hornier than a naked rabbit
He or she is so tight they squeak when they walk.
Loose as a goose
Hotter than hell
High as a Kite
Dumb as a doorknob
Flat as a board = pertaining to the other sex
You hit the nail on the head on that one--- When desribing someone's stupidity or ignorance.

 

[Chief]

Lost as an Easter egg at Christmas

Busier than a whore on payday

Done messed around and got his plow hung

 

[Chief]

Almost forgot

Rainin' like a cow pissin' on a flat rock

Off shore drillin' (sex on the boat away from the dock)

 

[dzalphakilo]

As useful as a rubber head wood pecker in a petrafied (sp?) forest.

 

[Deerlope]

"her elavator doesn't go all the way to the top floor".

"busyer than a one arm paper hanger".

 

[johnday]

Standing there like a house on the side of the road.
Sittin' there like a bump on a log.
A face like a Macktruck.

 

[Melensdad]

Splattered everywhere, just like a cow pissing on a flat rock

Built like a brick shithouse

As effective as the French Army

We could act like the French Army, or we could get up and do something about it

 

[JimR]

A brain the size of a pea.
Having a Blonde Day or
Having a Blonde moment
Must have been in a previous life. "Thinks they are smart"

 

[BRGTold]

Paint a Line to see if she's Standing Up or Layin Down..