• Please be sure to read the rules and adhere to them. Some banned members have complained that they are not spammers. But they spammed us. Some even tried to redirect our members to other forums. Duh. Be smart. Read the rules and adhere to them and we will all get along just fine. Cheers. :beer: Link to the rules: https://www.forumsforums.com/threads/forum-rules-info.2974/

Prayers For Redneck's Mother

Thanks, Cowgirl. Mom's back in nursing home again. AW's staying with her at least the first day or so till she gets over some of the confusion. Yea, she's in the same one she fell in. After talkin' to an attorney, he don't think it'll create a problem if/when a suit is filed. I think we might have a little better care due to the situation.
As for Mom, she's "in good shape for the shape she's in", as she used to say. Still a little confused about things, but getting better, better appetite, etc.
 
urednecku said:
Thanks. Prayers are still needed!
Mom had a couple bad days, seems like the meds and/or anesthesia had her real lethargic for a couple days. She seems to be coming out of the fog some now. She's setting up in a chair a couple hours a day now, but still not walking. She's still real weak, but is starting to eat more, and with more prayers and Gods will, she'll be out of the hospital & in a re-hab (again) in a couple more days.
Click to expand...

Since the surgery and the pain meds....she has developed a depression that causes her to "shut down" she has no motivation to stand or try to get better. She can't or won't stand on her legs or even try to hold her head up. We support her on both sides as "dead weight" She eats very little. I prompt her over and over to sip a meal replacement drink. I see her giving up, and I can't blame her one bit. I'm having trouble letting her go this alone in the rehab. If she were left in the Nursing /rehab she would be one of those old ladies screaming for help over and over while everyone walks by and has learned to tune it out because there's nothing they can do. I am SO ANGRY that she is going thru this because of a lazy nurse. (Sorry PG and Citygirl)
As usual the boys are seeing us (Daddy and I) one at a time or together when we trade turns with his Momma in rehab room. We are both exhausted emotionally and brain dead half the time.
 
American Woman said:
Since the surgery and the pain meds....she has developed a depression that causes her to "shut down" she has no motivation to stand or try to get better. She can't or won't stand on her legs or even try to hold her head up. We support her on both sides as "dead weight" She eats very little. I prompt her over and over to sip a meal replacement drink. I see her giving up, and I can't blame her one bit. I'm having trouble letting her go this alone in the rehab. If she were left in the Nursing /rehab she would be one of those old ladies screaming for help over and over while everyone walks by and has learned to tune it out because there's nothing they can do. I am SO ANGRY that she is going thru this because of a lazy nurse. (Sorry PG and Citygirl)
As usual the boys are seeing us (Daddy and I) one at a time or together when we trade turns with his Momma in rehab room. We are both exhausted emotionally and brain dead half the time.
Click to expand...
She's not going it alone.
A rehab facility houses nurses around the clock as well as aides and therapy staff for support.
She, I assume is on the standard pain medications and is by far not ready to even be walking yet.
I can see her going through a depression of sorts following such a surgery, especially since she's been diagnosed with dementia.
You must have her placed in a one in a million nursing facility with nursing staff who "walk by" and tune her out and say there is nothing they can do.
The entire staffing on rehab isn't just nursing-STNA-LPN-RN.
There are folks from therapy there daily, doctors are kept in contact with to advise us on the next best course of action should any sort of problem arise during convalescence.
The focus here should be on Mama getting better and not your apparent anger at ummm nurses.
 
Last edited:
PG, the ONLY reason my Mama is not "going it alone" is because 1) I have a wonderful wife that helps above and beyond and 2) a promise I made to my late Daddy, and to Mama, that I would take the best care of her I possibly could.
Yes, the nursing homes / rahab facilities have 24 hour nurses on staff, because it is law. I think the PT ladies must know something you don't, because they had her on her feet today, no not "walking" but putting weight on her feet, and taking a couple of steps.
As for it being the "one in a million", I have visited family & friends in too many of them, to know this is the norm, NOT the exception. I have been in many nursing homes, and hospitals and heard people crying "help me", for hours, and NURSES walking by. Wake up. These places do NOT have staff that can come in the minute someone calls out. Especially when the sick person is not mentally aware of what is going on, and just knows they are scared and alone.
Yes, folks from therapy is there every day, for what, 1 1/2 hours? That leaves 22 1/2 hours of the day. Keeping contact with the doctor is not the same as comforting somebody that is sick, and does not understand, any time they wake up from a nap, scared, in a dim room, and can NOT see anybody. When somebody does come in, the sick has no idea who it is or what they are there for.
As for the focus being on Mama getting better, if it had not been for more than one LAZY A$$ED NURSE , Mama would NOT be going thru the hell she is going thru, my sons would not be going thru this, and neither would Cory or myself. Our focus IS on getting Mama better, but we are not 'apparently angry' at what happened, we are TOTALLY PISSED OFF.
 
update: Late yesterday we moved Mom to another home. It's not as fancy material wise, but it's clean, neat, and the care-givers seem to be a lot more caring and attentive, and a LOT more knowledgeable about dementia, and how to talk and approach the patient. My sisters also like it a lot better.
 
Good luck with the move. Sounds like that was the right thing to do. :thumb:
 
For all the well wishes I've gotten, I've been known to return the favor 10-fold.

Larry and Cory I hope your Mom does well in her new surroundings and can continue on the path of improvement!
 
urednecku said:
update: Late yesterday we moved Mom to another home. It's not as fancy material wise, but it's clean, neat, and the care-givers seem to be a lot more caring and attentive, and a LOT more knowledgeable about dementia, and how to talk and approach the patient. My sisters also like it a lot better.
Click to expand...

sounds like the right call. good luck!
 
Update:
Well, Mom spent 1 night in the new home. We all felt comfortable enough to leave her, the people there are much more caring and knowledgeable of dementia & Alzheimer. When Cory went to check on her the next day, Mom's stomach was distended, and was hurting bad. Back in the hospital, again. As a direct result of the first nursing home's negligence, a broken hip, major surgery, pain meds, unable to get up to move around, etc, we now have a bowel obstruction. We're hoping tomorrow's procedure will take care of this. Her mental health is also declining fast. She sometimes is years younger (in her mind), talking about things only she knows anything about, and can't tell you what she just said. Doesn't want to eat anything. Usually will not try too hard to help physical therapist.
It really pisses me off, there is no reason for her to go thru all this hell. Just because somebody would NOT take the time to do their job.
Yes, we have been with her 24/7 in the hospital, and it's wearing on us.

So, keep those prayers coming.
THANKS!
 
I feel for you, Red.

I hope and pray that you and your family can find peace soon, for all of it's members.

I do not look forward to a similar scenario which is coming all too soon.

Larry
 
Try and hang in there Red at least the Doctors know the problem and once the procedure is done it may be the start of the recovery at long last.

Im still here praying for you guys just try and stay strong and remember to try and rest when you can Mom needs you stronger than ever now.
 
Well I for one take my hat off to both of you for being able to focus on your mother and give her the care and attention she needs right now . Just make sure you look after yourselves as well though , no good you guy's crashing down from exhaustion also .
 
Thought I'd update.
It's almost over. Mama will soon join Daddy.
Mom has given up, it's been hard for several weeks to get her to eat or drink. She went back to hospital yesterday with fever, and was dehydrated, & her blood was low, again. Her body has stopped making blood. We are going to follow her living will, and let nature take it's course, keeping her as comfortable possible. The doc says maybe 2 weeks, hospice nurse says maybe half of that. Only GOD knows. We are bringing her back to the assisted living facility she lived at the last couple years, about 3 miles from us. I'm told Hospice will have a 24 hour nurse there. That is much closer to "home" for her, (and us) and much a better atmosphere than the NH.
Prayers are needed now especially to help keep Mom comfortable, and for Cory and my boys.
Thanks
 
Saying a prayer tonight for your mom and your family. I pray her passing is with a gentle kiss from God.
 
So sorry to read that Redneck , you and Cory (and the kids) have done an amazing job caring for your mum through this , you all deserve to be very proud of what you've done to ease your mothers time . We will be thinking of all of you and you're in our prayers .
 
Stay strong pal! It's very hard to sit by watching someone you care about fade away slowly. We'll be thinking of you guys for sure.
 
Cory sent me before and after pictures the other night Larry.
I could see the decline.
You do well in allowing her to receive comfort care with hospice at this time, as she doesn't really know what she wants, but her body is telling her what it wants.
God knows what she wants too.
I hope she has a peaceful time within the next week(s) and slips silently into the arms of God.
Yes, you've got my prayers.
Let her go and be with your Dad.
Be strong and don't feel at all bad about it.:thumb:
It's time.
 
Well, Red, I can't add any new words to those already posted here. I'll put you guys on my prayer list. You've been a good son, looking after your mama like you have. Corey's been a big help to you and to her.
God Speed, Mama.
 
Guys, I just saw this back on top, and have been in and out of here to little of late for sure. Watching someone go to the ultimate healing is hard for sure. Your family has endured well. At this point in it all, I can tell you that keeping her comfortable and keeping yourselves from going in sane is the most important. You have done right in fullfilling her wishes and your promises to your dad. I know it is not easy, and as you wind up the final chapter may God Bless you and be with you all.
 
prayers -- wish there was more I could do or say other than that and offer condolences, but...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top