Just no. (long read)

[Bannedjoe]

OMG I sure don't blame ya for trying but it scares the F out of me to think of being on the road with someone like him behind the wheel of an 18 wheeler.

Yeah, I know.
I'm sorry.

But no one is hiring right now for experimental one way trips to Alpha Centauri.

But seriously, I can think of no other job anywhere where they will take someone with no experience whatsoever, house them, train them, pay them to learn and put them to work.

I did it myself many years ago when I was down and out, and truly, it was a godsend of a job.

I also looked at cruise ship jobs for him, but sadly, they require a person of a higher caliber, with at least SOME experience in SOMETHING.

 

[pirate_girl]

But seriously, I can think of no other job anywhere where they will take someone with no experience whatsoever, house them, train them, pay them to learn and put them to work.

Send him to a group home, and let the state folks take care of him.
I think you've run out of options.
I'm not sure how this works in Arizona or if you can even drop a family member there.
I have residents right now who were former residents in group homes.
Some of them left our facility through help from outside sources.
Others are still with us because they have funding to enable them to stay with us.
Mostly former homeless men who did not have the capacity of knowing that money in your bank can get you a place instead of drinking it away.

 

[Bannedjoe]

And the dilemma continues.

A few weeks ago, he texted me that his plan was to leave on the 30th.
I told him not to make it a plan, but to make it a reality.

He thinks he plans to catch a train to Reno.
There is no train to Reno.

There is a train station in town, with two trains a day.
One heading East, the other heading West, and they both leave at 1:30am everyday.
He thinks he'll be able to walk into the station and just buy a ticket.
I'm not so sure there's anyone there at that time of the day.
I told him to book online.

In order to push him along, I told him that since he said he's leaving tomorrow, that I will be coming down there to reclaim my batteries, computer, and all the other things I've let him use.

Not one word or response from the little turd.

I don't think he realizes that when I take my batteries back, he'll have no electricity, ergo, no way to charge his phone, or lights.

I think he just doesn't care, and believes if he does nothing, that he'll be cared for.
He hasn't contacted his mother concerning a ride to the train station or anything.

I hate to be an asshole, but I've reached my limits.
He has money.

It appears my only option is to make things so uncomfortable, that he has no choice but to move on.

He's sat down there for almost 3 months, and has made zero progress in bettering, or moving on with his life.
None.

But he will make contact when he's low on food, or needs TP.

Group homes exist, but they are mainly for young adults with drug problems, or abuse issues.

I've just never seen anything like this.

 

[XeVfTEUtaAqJHTqq]

Send him to San Francisco, Portland, or Seattle. There are many, many, more just like him thriving in those cities.

 

[pirate_girl]

It appears my only option is to make things so uncomfortable, that he has no choice but to move on.

Yup.
I think you and his Mother have reached your limits.

 

[Bannedjoe]

Send him to San Francisco, Portland, or Seattle. There are many, many, more just like him thriving in those cities.

Chaz wouldn't have a thing to do with him.

 

[Bannedjoe]

Well, hopefully this thing is at an end.
I went down yesterday and collected my batteries, inverter and charge controller.
I also made him collect all the other things I gave him to use.

I asked, why are you still here?
He says, I'm leaving on Thurs.
I asked, what's thursday?
He said the beginning of the month.
So I then asked, what does that have to do with anything?
He said, it's the start of the third fiscal quarter.

I was then forced to ask, WTF does that mean??

He thinks there's something magical about it, and that they'll give him the PO job up in Reno.
I'm still of the school that if you apply for a job, and they haven't hired you after 4 months, there is no job, but he's going up there anyway.

So he's catching a bus tomorrow up to Vegas, then a train to Reno.
I hope Nevada doesn't shut back down before he gets there.

The saddest part of this whole thing, is that he's had 3 months to sit and reflect on his meaningless life, and the piss poor decisions he's made in it, that brought him to the point he's at.
He hasn't learned a thing.

He's made zero progress on improving anything.
If it wasn't for a tax return, and a covid check, he'd still be sitting there with his thumb up his ass, no money, and no job.
He'll most likely spend the rest of his life being a baby bird expecting others to drop a worm in his mouth.

Hopefully, I won't have to see, nor be a part of it.

 

[Jim_S]

I hope he doesn’t find his way back after Reno doesn't work out.

 

[Bannedjoe]

I hope he doesn’t find his way back after Reno doesn't work out.

You and me both.

 

[Bannedjoe]

The wife spent a few hours with the brat yesterday dialing him in on what he needed to do down at the house before he left.

She said he's been leaving his trash all over the place and not picking up after himself.
She told him to pack up all his shit, and pick up his garbage, and that she'd be back at 9:00 in the morning to pick him up, take him to the laundromat to do his clothes, lunch, then the bus station.

Unfuckingbelievable:
She shows up at 9am, he hasn't done anything she told him to do, he's not even packed.
It's a damn good thing it wasn't me taking him to the station.

The wife says to him, I TOLD YOU I'D BE HERE AT NINE TO PICK YOU UP!!!
His reply, well, I never said I'd be ready at nine!

I would have shot him right then and there.
Seriously, that would have been it.
She packs everywhere she goes, and I'm truly surprised she maintained her cool, and only presented him with a large FUCK YOU!

It took her two hours to get his ass in gear and out of the house.

She texts me at 3pm asking what I'd like her to bring home for dinner.
I told her to just find something to go.
She then texts that she still has the kid with her.

I text, Why?

She says, he has no plan.

I said bullshit, Bus, Vegas, Reno. Take him to the bus station and say good-bye.
She says, ok, I'll pick up food, then drop him off.

In the meantime I call greyhound, and the guy tells me the bus to Vegas leaves at 4:00.

I text back that she'd better hussle him there because the bus leaves at 4.
The kid says no worry, there's another at 5:30.

They make it to the station, and guess what?
The kid was wrong, and there isn't another bus.

She took him to the train station, and kicked him out.
He asks, next year, can we go see the Grand Canyon?

If I ever see this kid again....

The last time he was in Vegas he got his wallet stolen and his ass kicked by a transvestite in a bar.
Maybe someone will take care of matters for me.
I cannot put into words how much I hate this guy, and how much disrespect he's shown towards his mother.
Not to mention the disruption to our lives, and the upset he's caused between my wife and I.

We're pretty strong, and never fight, but this has pretty much caused the most strife between the two of us that we've ever had in 25 years.

I resent this guy with every fiber of my being, and the wife is certain the kid is going to die in Vegas.

I personally don't care.

 

[pirate_girl]

Dayum Joe!
I do hope you've seen the last of him.
My heart is normally 100% in caring.
In this case, I'd have done the same as you.
Wow, reading that made me feel whipped.
Can't imagine actually living it.

You done good.

 

[Bannedjoe]

Dayum Joe!
I do hope you've seen the last of him.
My heart is normally 100% in caring.
In this case, I'd have done the same as you.
Wow, reading that made me feel whipped.
Can't imagine actually living it.

You done good.

Thanks. We're both pretty spent.

I have to go back down there today to make sure the place is locked up, grab my water barrel and a few other odds and ends.
No telling where this idiot will end up.
Just for the hell of it I checked Amtrak, and there is no train to Vegas.
It goes East and West, but not North. (I may have posted that before)
For the most part, I hope he goes back to KCMO.
Vegas is only 150 miles, and that's too close for my comfort for an easy return.

My mind still reels that there was never once any sign of appreciation.
Not a thank you, nor any offer whatsoever of any reimbursement after he received his tax return and covid check.
I most likely wouldn't have accepted a dime, being as he needs the money way more than I do, but even a small gesture would have been worth some traction in the future, if there ever is one.

 

[jimbo]

The little shit just texted his Mom.
He just landed in Phx.

Not sure how this is going to play out, but just hoping Mom is strong enough to resist getting sucked in.
This could become a real problem in a number of ways.

I have a theory that the first step in solving a problem is figuring out whose problem it is. The fact that he is at the airport is not your problem. Don't make it yours.

 

[pirate_girl]

If and when he ever attempts to return, you may have to speak to him like he's an 8 year old.

-You and your wife's life is not to be treated like there's a revolving door.
-The door is closed, he's on the other side now.
Permanently.

 

[jimbo]

If and when he ever attempts to return, you may have to speak to him like he's an 8 year old.

-You and your wife's life is not to be treated like there's a revolving door.
-The door is closed, he's on the other side now.
Permanently.

Negative. Don't speak to him at all.

He'll attempt to return, because so far it's worked.

 

[Bannedjoe]

Well, it's getting close to a week now with him gone, and the wife and I feel a great sense of relief.

Not sure how far he made it to anywhere.
But he did text his Mom yesterday to let her know he was flying back to KCMO.
He told her he didn't get the job because he missed a deadline.
Sounds about right for the dumbass.

There aren't many times in an adult life where you get an opportunity to sit on your butt for three months, not work, have food and rent provided, and have the chance to reflect on your life, and make some positive changes or improvements.
The sad thing is, he didn't do a thing about any of it, and is right back where he started, but maybe even worse off.

I'm out of things to say about all of this, except, I just don't care anymore.

 

[Bannedjoe]

No.
Just.
Fucking.
No.

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

He made it to Vegas, and was supposed to fly back to KC. (his words)
But no.
He rents a car, and drives to Phoenix???
Phoenix.
He was already there almost 4 months ago.
Phoenix???

(He says) upon arriving in Phx, he discovers he left his debit card at a gas station back in Vegas, so he drives back, and turns his car in, then tries renting a motel room.
Well, no one's renting him a motel room without a CC, even if he does have cash.
So what's he do?
He calls Mom, and invites her up to Vegas to share a motel room.

She hates Vegas, and tells him no way and to go get his own room.
That's when he tells her the story and that he lost his card, and can't get a room.

Little fucker.

He thinks in the morning he'll be able to go to a branch of his bank and just get a new card.
We all know it doesn't work that way.
She offered to buy him a room.

I lost it.
I did.
I came goddamn unglued.

Probably not some of the best things I ever said, but I told her if she wants to remain together, I'd better not see his face around here.
And if I did, the results weren't going to be pleasant for any of the three of us.
I told her that I wasn't going to support nor take care of this lazy fucking piece of shit for the rest of my life.

Well just a room for tonight.

Yeah, what about tomorrow night? and the night after?
How about the week or 10 days it's going to take to get a new card?
And just where the hell are they going to send it to?
Certainly not fucking here!

Just one bad stupid decision after another with this guy.
No planning, no forethought, no afterthought for that matter.
Blind as a bat and dumber than a bag of plungers.

It wouldn't surprise me for a minute to find out he didn't lose his card, didn't rent a car, and spent all his money in Vegas trying to make money in the laziest way possible.

So now, he's still got no job, no pot to pee in, no plans, and is worse off than when this whole thing started because now he's either broke again, or doesn't have a card.

She sent him some phone numbers for some hostels up there instead.

I told her she should tell the lazy bastard to go find a brick, and throw it through a jewelry store window.
At least that way he can have three meals a day, a roof over his head, and someone to take care of him, and she won't have to worry about his stupid soon to be sore ass so much.

I hate to make threats, but one way or another, I'm not going to put up this Mommying of a 40 year old whatever he is anymore.
She's got to cut him loose.

Whatever's wrong with this guy, it's not our job to fix him, or the next stupid situation he puts himself in.
He's just going to have to get smart, or die out there.
I'm still amazed that he can remember to breathe on his own.

I loaned him a computer for his job search, and I took it back right before he left.
She asked if I wouldn't just give it to him since it was an old windows computer anyways.
I agreed, but only after deleting any files that I may still have on it.

While doing so, I came across a folder he had made.
Pictures of batman.
Batman.
40 years old, and he's obsessed with comic book characters.
Supposed to be using the damn thing to look for work, and he's downloading pictures of batman.

There's no hope.

And even worse, I let him steal my peace again.


Uncle.

 

[Jim_S]

I wished I knew what to say.

Jim

 

[pirate_girl]

I wished I knew what to say.

Jim

Me too.
Holy cow.

 

[m1west]

No.
Just.
Fucking.
No.

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

He made it to Vegas, and was supposed to fly back to KC. (his words)
But no.
He rents a car, and drives to Phoenix???
Phoenix.
He was already there almost 4 months ago.
Phoenix???

(He says) upon arriving in Phx, he discovers he left his debit card at a gas station back in Vegas, so he drives back, and turns his car in, then tries renting a motel room.
Well, no one's renting him a motel room without a CC, even if he does have cash.
So what's he do?
He calls Mom, and invites her up to Vegas to share a motel room.

She hates Vegas, and tells him no way and to go get his own room.
That's when he tells her the story and that he lost his card, and can't get a room.

Little fucker.

He thinks in the morning he'll be able to go to a branch of his bank and just get a new card.
We all know it doesn't work that way.
She offered to buy him a room.

I lost it.
I did.
I came goddamn unglued.

Probably not some of the best things I ever said, but I told her if she wants to remain together, I'd better not see his face around here.
And if I did, the results weren't going to be pleasant for any of the three of us.
I told her that I wasn't going to support nor take care of this lazy fucking piece of shit for the rest of my life.

Well just a room for tonight.

Yeah, what about tomorrow night? and the night after?
How about the week or 10 days it's going to take to get a new card?
And just where the hell are they going to send it to?
Certainly not fucking here!

Just one bad stupid decision after another with this guy.
No planning, no forethought, no afterthought for that matter.
Blind as a bat and dumber than a bag of plungers.

It wouldn't surprise me for a minute to find out he didn't lose his card, didn't rent a car, and spent all his money in Vegas trying to make money in the laziest way possible.

So now, he's still got no job, no pot to pee in, no plans, and is worse off than when this whole thing started because now he's either broke again, or doesn't have a card.

She sent him some phone numbers for some hostels up there instead.

I told her she should tell the lazy bastard to go find a brick, and throw it through a jewelry store window.
At least that way he can have three meals a day, a roof over his head, and someone to take care of him, and she won't have to worry about his stupid soon to be sore ass so much.

I hate to make threats, but one way or another, I'm not going to put up this Mommying of a 40 year old whatever he is anymore.
She's got to cut him loose.

Whatever's wrong with this guy, it's not our job to fix him, or the next stupid situation he puts himself in.
He's just going to have to get smart, or die out there.
I'm still amazed that he can remember to breathe on his own.

I loaned him a computer for his job search, and I took it back right before he left.
She asked if I wouldn't just give it to him since it was an old windows computer anyways.
I agreed, but only after deleting any files that I may still have on it.

While doing so, I came across a folder he had made.
Pictures of batman.
Batman.
40 years old, and he's obsessed with comic book characters.
Supposed to be using the damn thing to look for work, and he's downloading pictures of batman.

There's no hope.

And even worse, I let him steal my peace again.


Uncle.

I've been wrong before, but looking in ( he is not stupid ) he is manipulating everyone and has most likely doing that all his life. I have a nephew, my sisters son. Right out of the same mold. He is always a victim.

 

[Bannedjoe]

I've been wrong before, but looking in ( he is not stupid ) he is manipulating everyone and has most likely doing that all his life. I have a nephew, my sisters son. Right out of the same mold. He is always a victim.

No, he is stupid, AND manipulative.
Last night was a motel (he didn't get one from us) Today, he needs money for a bus ticket so he can get to phx to get a train ticket so he can go back home and try to mooch off his father some more.
Dad will probably want to kill him for coming back.

 

[Jim_S]

Joe, wish he was a forum member. We have ways of dealing with his type folks.