This is the email i sent lisa in the middle of last night as i could not sleep,she shared it with hslf the world so hey have s read it sims up our relationship
Email to lisa...
3.04am and i cant sleep,why it's a simple combination of my lover as over taken all of my thought processes and the fucking twat in the room next door wont turn down the tv.
Now as for that lover of mine,i cant lie she is the cutest thing since mother nature blessed the earth with tiny fluffy kittens,dont get me wrong when she farts down the phone in to your ear it is like the fluffy kitten as just shit in your prized flower bed,but you forgive as she is so damn cute.
So how could i get so drawn in so fast,one minute my daughter is bitch slapping me in to getting a life,next thing i know i read the profile of some stranger on a dodgy dating site on the interweb, i thought eh this one either as the same values as me or she as done a good copy and paste job,turns out she as my values and more,dont get me wrong i got a little nervous when she asked me for my number, how the world as changed since i last dated,it did cross my mind is this woman missing a finger or 2 from her kit kat but nothing ventured i guess.
And then the madness began,with every text this kind loving gentle soul sent me a piece of my shattered heart got gently put back where it belonged,when we moved on to phone calls that fragile heart started to get its regular beat back,her soft voice late at night had the calming effect of a mug of hot chocolate on a cold winters night.
Meeting face to face at our age you would think would be a simple adult natural thing to do,no like fuck,she had my heart at this stage ticking over like a v8, i was shitting it, why? Very simply what if we were to meet and we decided there was no jiggy attraction between us,we both talked the talk but could this all just be talk,well that was quickly answered, i dare any man to look into her eyes and not get mesmerised, her amazing ability to make you feel warm inside from the instance you meet her is nothing i have expierenced before.
Ok she was a little forward for me to start with when she told me to grab my toothbrush but i was intrigued and wanted to know more about this woman as i had never come across this breed before,and i quickly found out not only could her fairy dust work untold wonders on me it also worked on what i thought was the impossible, yup she also stole the heart of my Elisha.
I think she as somehow damaged my ability to make sensible choices in life,as i write this i slapped on the tv and instead of hitting a music channel like kerrang for some soothing rock music i instead chose now 80's nothing but 80's love songs,she does this to me,one minute i want a ferrari then my lover comes along and stuff the car i want roller boots and a tube of pringles,even the thought of her flob dripping of the back of some other girls hair excites me.
How is it after all these years i only now understand what a real woman is,she is beautiful on the inside and out,strong,independent, motherly,caring,funny,disgusting,farts,burps,warm and by fuck can she cook,i thought i could cook but this girl is a few runs up the ladder compared to me,she also comes as a package deal,some may call it luggage but no it is a all inclusive package deal,instead of all you can eat and drink its more like all you can meet and love,a son i have yet to meet,2 amazing daughters to which the eldest works hard and talks harder,a brother that clearly loves her as i would never chase after my sister at tesco,and and a father that is a mans man and at the same time a charmer,i have never met such a loving family unit and yes i want in on the action.
After a weekend of lust and amazing cooking things are back to normal,like fuck are they my world is upside down,i used to be a level headed thinker,well that me is gone forever,in one weekend i somehow learnt life is for the taking,being spontaneous is good for the soul,not only is my heart fixed i swear it is also improved,i feel saved and if it is a dream never wake me.
If a outsider was to read this they would think i was talking about all of this happening over a course of months,no,a week i kid you not just 1 week,cant say the exact day we started talking as its all a blur,and yes i have not mentioned any intimate details of our flirtatious weekend as i have no idea who could end up reading this,my lover may let her best friend lizzy have a sneek so nothing here sleezy, but hey i must say she is a woman i plan on exploring inch by inch,shit i made myself dribble.
Can you understand why im falling in love,i have tried reining it in i cant,in truth i dont want to,when she is in my arms i dont want to let go,i want to hold her hand and skip to the shops for sweets and a can of pop,and then go to the park to push her on the swings,i want to hear her talk twat to strangers,i await her next trump in my ear,i crave her cooking,i want to cook for her,i want to be there to take some of lifes burndens away from her,make love to her and wake up in eachothers arms every day for the rest of our lives.
4.44am.....she will be snoring right now as she does,popping out the occasional bit of over stored flatulence not being aware i am here writing her a odd but from the heart love letter to try and give her a little lasting memory she can always look back on to remind her how she ended up spending the rest of her life with a twat,takes one to know one and im a honest twat that wants to love and be loved.
2 families are on the verge of becoming 1 and that excites me as my small family will benefit so much from being part of her loving family,i bring with me my 3 biological children,several adpoted children,4 beautiful granchildren and thats it,and thats all i need to bring,anything else as been gathering dust for years so non important.
Im done for now,lets see what week 2 brings and i will write another odd love letter.
I love you Lisa
Your twat, Dean xxx
I would like that
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