Don Coyote
Active member
I'm never eating another tart as long as I live. 
Humor, sarcasm, irony, and other fun stuff
- Thread starter 1boringguy
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FrancSevin
Proudly Deplorable
FrancSevin
Proudly Deplorable
FrancSevin
Proudly Deplorable
FrancSevin
Proudly Deplorable
A 84-year-old man is having a drink in Harpoon Harry’s.
Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her. After a short while, the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.
Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone: "I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want $400, and there's another condition.”
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is."You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman. He whips out his wallet and puts $400 dollars into her hand.
He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly: "Paint my house.”
AN OLDIE BUT, A GOODIE!
Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her. After a short while, the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.
Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone: "I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want $400, and there's another condition.”
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is."You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman. He whips out his wallet and puts $400 dollars into her hand.
He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly: "Paint my house.”
AN OLDIE BUT, A GOODIE!
FrancSevin
Proudly Deplorable
A policeman on a horse approaches a little girl on a bicycle and says, “Nice bike you’ve got there. Did Santa bring you that?”
“Yep,” replies the little girl.
Well, says the policeman, "tell him he should have put a reflector light on it" and fines her $5 for not having one.
The little girl looks up at the policeman and says, “Nice horse you’ve got there. Did Santa bring you that?”
The cop chuckles and replies, “He sure did!”
Well, says the little girl, “tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!”
“Yep,” replies the little girl.
Well, says the policeman, "tell him he should have put a reflector light on it" and fines her $5 for not having one.
The little girl looks up at the policeman and says, “Nice horse you’ve got there. Did Santa bring you that?”
The cop chuckles and replies, “He sure did!”
Well, says the little girl, “tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!”