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Humor, sarcasm, irony, and other fun stuff
- Thread starter 1boringguy
- Start date
Thank you. I listened to it four times and still couldn't make out what he was saying.
ah. can only be one member of the forums
Last edited:
FrancSevin
Proudly Deplorable
After I had been married for 55 years, I took a look at my wife and said,
"Sweetheart, 55 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on
a sofa bed and watched a 13-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep
every night with a hot 20 year-old honey-blonde haired gal.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm
sleeping with a 74 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding
up your side of things."
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 20
year-old honey blonde-haired woman, and she would make sure that I would once
again be living in a cheap apartment, drove a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa
bed and watched a 13-inch black and white TV.
It was naive of me to think I could land a 20 year old woman.
Aren't older women GREAT? I am so glad she was there to help me solve your mid-life crisis.
"Sweetheart, 55 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on
a sofa bed and watched a 13-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep
every night with a hot 20 year-old honey-blonde haired gal.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm
sleeping with a 74 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding
up your side of things."
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 20
year-old honey blonde-haired woman, and she would make sure that I would once
again be living in a cheap apartment, drove a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa
bed and watched a 13-inch black and white TV.
It was naive of me to think I could land a 20 year old woman.
Aren't older women GREAT? I am so glad she was there to help me solve your mid-life crisis.
It isn't safe to get too close to my trucks front end either
Attachments
FrancSevin
Proudly Deplorable
******Sad news about Vern*******
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends
Two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every
Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard,
So for his birthday she takes him to a local
Strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,
"Hey, Vern! How ya doin?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to
This club before.
"Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league ."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern
If he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable
And says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her
Arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all
Over him and says...
"Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Vern's wife, now furious,
Grabs her purse and
Storms out of the club.
Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in
Beside her.
Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper
Must have mistaken him for someone else,
But his wife is having none of it
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs,
Calling him every 4 letter word in the book..
The cabby turns around and says,
'Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.'
VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD THIS COMING FRIDAY.
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends
Two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every
Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard,
So for his birthday she takes him to a local
Strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,
"Hey, Vern! How ya doin?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to
This club before.
"Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league ."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern
If he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable
And says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her
Arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all
Over him and says...
"Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Vern's wife, now furious,
Grabs her purse and
Storms out of the club.
Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in
Beside her.
Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper
Must have mistaken him for someone else,
But his wife is having none of it
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs,
Calling him every 4 letter word in the book..
The cabby turns around and says,
'Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.'
VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD THIS COMING FRIDAY.
