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Humor, sarcasm, irony, and other fun stuff
- Thread starter 1boringguy
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Funny because it's true.
The hottest girl in my high school, I mean Smokin hot!
Well I saw her at the 25th reunion a few years ago, and OMG that looked nothing at all like her. Interestingly a girl who was very average in high school, she was a smoke show, even had the 6 pack abs. I'm going to guess that she was the only gal there not holding her stomach in.
But by far the most incredible part was the good students who were always A+ and sucking up to the teachers, never sent to the office, did every extra credit report, not 1 of them has gone on to do anything stellar.
Some of the total goof offs, always smoking weed, often in the office, failing classes, some dropped out, but they didn't care, just enjoyed life. Well a few of them have done extremely well, own successful businesses, and are killing it.
One total stoner, owns a super successful trucking company, his wife was gorgeous, and they are so happy.
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ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When this becomes apparent, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled this situation with my wife, Carol. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age.
I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.
I generally have lunch in the Grill at the golf club, so eating out is not an option for us in the evening. I'm ready for some home-cooked food when I walk through that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating, but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour, but, chaps, we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then would help her figure. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break today when she was only half-finished mowing the lawn. I tried not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I told her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, and just relax for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she might as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint, in the way I support Carol. I'm not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy. Many men would find it difficult, if not impossible. Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife as a result of reading this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
IMPORTAN UPDATE
Ron died suddenly of a perforated rectum after publishing this letter.
The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch driver golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing. A sledge hammer was lying nearby.
His wife Carol, was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 9 minutes to find her "Not Guilty", accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When this becomes apparent, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled this situation with my wife, Carol. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age.
I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.
I generally have lunch in the Grill at the golf club, so eating out is not an option for us in the evening. I'm ready for some home-cooked food when I walk through that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating, but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour, but, chaps, we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then would help her figure. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break today when she was only half-finished mowing the lawn. I tried not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I told her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, and just relax for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she might as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint, in the way I support Carol. I'm not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy. Many men would find it difficult, if not impossible. Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife as a result of reading this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
IMPORTAN UPDATE
Ron died suddenly of a perforated rectum after publishing this letter.
The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch driver golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing. A sledge hammer was lying nearby.
His wife Carol, was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 9 minutes to find her "Not Guilty", accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.