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How do I get out of an abusive relationship? Please help fast.

Angelface said:
I know... :sad: I am just so scared I don't know how to... My heart races just thinking about it.
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Again, you need to contact one of the abused women's shelters and city/county/state support groups. There are several resources in your area for women in need just like you.

These people and organizations are there to help. Make the call.
 
Angelface said:
Thank you everyone so much for the support.
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OK.. Let me be the bad guy here . NOTHING will change unless you really want it too. I got better things to do than listen to some woman complain about the abusive relationship she is in ,than , when given good information, does not take it and continues to bitch and moan about how bad it is .

GROW UP !!! Life can be the shits lady . Your life is what you make it . Nothing will change unless you go for help and get away from the SOB .
Until then ,,, you are just looking for sympathy . You won't get it from me .

Now that is about as plain as I can explain it . And don't give me the crap that I do not understand .

You got one shot in this Fucked up world . Get off your dead ass and do something cause nothing changes until you decide that you have had enough and seek help from the many groups out there to help you . It does not cost a cent .Look in the phone book for Women shelters and abuse and make the Fickin call !!!!
Your life will change in 5 minutes after that ,,,,,, for the better !

Do it or continue to enjoy your present and past life style of getting abused .

Enough Said !!!
 
fear is inhibiting u in so many ways. i would get a restraining order, get a few $$ together, pack, & leave (or make him leave). if thinking of a current situation makes u that upset, think of how leaving your said situation benefits a person. scary @ 1st- yeah. change & loss is scary. think of years away, tho, when/if ur not being dictated by that guy & day-to-day being is a + . they say abusers have their issues & push them onto 'loved' ones. i would nary say he is showing love if u have gotten too afraid to leave him. there is pepper spray. new locks. re-location, friends, helplines, family, professionals.
 
Pain is a wonderful motivator. Sometimes, it is the only thing sharp enough to cut away what must be removed. Fear is an immobilizer. It can stop rational thought and action. Sometimes, you have to trust another, not your own judgement. I can empathize with you and your situation, yet you will get NO sympathy from me. As a "Friend of Bill W." I had to learn the "hard" way. It was only when I "took action", the First Step, that things STARTED to change in my life. Baby steps are ok, as long as they are steps and those said steps continue. This isn't only about you, but those around you and those you love. Heck, you have involved this forum. We make suggestions because we care, and some of us, well, we've been in your shoes. You have been given a tremendous amount of information. PLEASE carefully assess your situation. There is a solution. It can work, if you let it. I won't post again, for as others have said, now it's up to you and yours. Make a call and go from there. May God bless and protect you and yours!!

God bless,
Tony
 
:( I had a two paragraph response to everyone and then my dumb computer did a automatic restart and I lost it.. So I am going to kinda be brief here. I know what I need to do now and the advice here has been more than helpful and I really appreciate it! I'm just scared of being alone, a single mother.. I have lost friends over this issue because they obviously knew about what was going on and I didn't do anything about it. Things go great for awhile and then there are really bad days. He is great with my kids and they love him. He only gets a little to verbal with them at times. I don't want them to hate me because I am being selfish.

My whole life I dreamed of getting married and having a family, now that is all falling apart on me and it hurts a lot. I know I have to look past that and move on. But how do I know I would be actually protected? Would they actually even care? They get a paycheck right? When I witnessed my little sisters death and was put into therapy because of it, the therapist was an awful person to talk to and he didn't care at all. I learned recently that he is in trouble with the law due to drug abuse.

I have a hard time trusting people. My real dad left me and my step dad hated me. This may sound weird but I am actually used to being treated badly. It's almost normal at this point. When people or umm guys I date are really nice to me, it freaks me out.

I like to think that maybe I deserve it because I made the choices that lead to it. I am also not looking into getting sympathy here, I just let out a huge sob poor me story and to be honest it felt good to talk about it.. I don't in real life. I shelter myself from opening up because I am sure people have worse problems than I do and I don't need to throw up all over them... I could keep going but I am not. Sorry. :(
 
I have family that spent a number of years volunteering with local Domestic Violence Intervention group. They spent countless hours setting up safe house, counseling, going to court and supporting the person. Phone ringing at 3am in morning, to pick up women that had been beat or hurt from the police station, and get them and thier kids to safe houses. Supplying them with clothes etc. And shelter.

Take advantage of what they offer. Here are a couple of the many available.

http://www.thehotline.org/
http://www.feminist.org/911/crisis.html
 
Angel you only get one shot on this planet so make the most of it...to be afraid shows humanity and you need to face it alone to start with but around you respect and support will come to you and for that you will never be alone.

If you want the dream to be reality you need to grasp the moment,in the process you find self respect and that alone will allow you to hold your head high and move forward to find peace in your life.

If not for you do it for your child....do it now or just lie down and become a life time punch bag as i promise it wont change and people will get bored of giving advice and that advice being ignored,cry wolf sadly....stand up and make a difference!!!!

Respect.
 
Think of this. You said that you are used to being treated badly and I suspect that you think that somehow you deserve it. What about your children? Kids learn from adults and what is going on around them. Do you want them to grow up thinking that being treated badly is normal? That they deserve it?

I had an employee that had a fellow employee start to stalk her. I tried to help and one day totally frustrated I told her that she was the perfect victim. She agreed. The man was fired but still kept after her. Her life was miserable and she didn't have the strength to fix it.
 
Sounds like you're ready to take the first step, Angel. Making that first call to a county/state support group will be scary, but from then forward you'll find the resources you need to get away from the relationship safely.

They will help you put a restraining order in place, if need be, so that you can move forward without fear. These folks are pros, specifically trained to help you thru a difficult time.
 
Angel, the door of opportunity has been there for you from the begining. You know what is onthis side of it. You are suffering through what is on tis side of iit.

You are welcome to stay on this side of that door, in the comfort of enduring what you know. But consider that if you want happiness,you will NEVER findit on this side of that door.

Only you can open that door.

Don't be someone who's happiness is based on their comfort in the knwledge of their misery. The worst that can happen is more of the same.

That is the absolute worst.

Only you can open the door.

You have plenty of advice on how to get to the door.

Only you can open it

The best that can happen is happiness

Only you can open the door.
 
Angel...do yourself a favor and get out. I know where you are. I've been there too. It's not easy walking away. I did it after a ten year marriage. After she shipped her oldest son to live with his biodad and quit her job to move out west to be closer to her sister, I made the choice for both myself and our son to stay here and get out of the marriage. I kept our youngest son with me. You might think that being a single mother would be tough. I did it. Single father for 3 years. It was hard but the main focus was my son. It had to be. I had to do what was best for him. I had to put him first. You have to do the same. Do what is most important for you and your child. Staying is not the best answer. My financee learned the hard way. She stayed for too long with her ex and soon found herself being thrown down to the bed one day as he stood over her with a knife. She gathered the courage to get out with her 3 children. You need to also. You might be scared to be a single parent. Scared of being alone. I've been there. It's not fun but the alternative is way worse.
 
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I made some changes today and then cried for hours... I hope this is true and a step forward. I'm to weak to fall back any further.
 
now follow through- if he is that person he seems, he is not worthy of 1 drop of a tear of yours'.

leaving is not easy. u hafta be tough as nails at times, & refuse to cave.
support is there,- use that support. continually. so much as it's being used, not toyed with.

remember-- he, himself, is weak, or he would not pick on women- remember that vulnerability of his.
-nite, angel
 
luvs said:
now follow through- if he is that person he seems, he is not worthy of 1 drop of a tear of yours'.

leaving is not easy. u hafta be tough as nails at times, & refuse to cave.
support is there,- use that support. continually. so much as it's being used, not toyed with.

remember-- he, himself, is weak, or he would not pick on women- remember that vulnerability of his.
-nite, angel
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You are so right! Thanks! <3
 
Angelface said:
I made some changes today and then cried for hours... I hope this is true and a step forward. I'm to weak to fall back any further.
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excellent. I hope one, that they were severe enough to be effective and two, that you are resolved enough that they are effective.

LUV's has it spot on right. Be strong

Prayers offered.
 
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