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France (and even French Canadians) can kiss my butt!

Melensdad

Melensdad

Jerk in a Hawaiian Shirt & SNOWCAT Moderator
Staff member
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
--Mark Twain
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"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--General George S. Patton
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"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
--Norman Schwartzkopf

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"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
--Marge Simpson
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"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
--Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
--Rush Limbaugh
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"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--Regis Philbin
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"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I don't know."
--P.J. O'Rourke (1989)
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"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
--John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona
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"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."
--Conan O'Brien
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"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either."
--Jay Leno
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"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
--David Letterman
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"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."
--Ted Nugent
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"War without France would be like World War II."
--Unknown
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"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says 'First Iraq, then France.'"
--Tom Brokaw
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"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
--Dennis Miller
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"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
--Alan Kent
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"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
--Argus Hamilton
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"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
--Rep. Roy Blunt, MO
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"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
--Dennis Miller
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"Raise your right hand if you like the French, raise both hands if you are French."
--Unknown
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Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?
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"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."
--Rep. R. Blount, MO
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"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
--John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv
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The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.
------------------------------
French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
(AP), Paris, March 5, 2003

The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.
​
 
Funny stuff Bob.
My favorite:
"War without France would be like World War II."
--Unknown
------------------------------
 
Here's a great site for this kind of stuff.
www.I-hate-France.com

I like their French military history section. The only war they ever won (although they screwed it up) was their own revolutions so somebody in France had to win...
 
Bob, Bob, Bob, you forgot...
Why are the roads along the Arc D'Triumph lined with trees?
So the Germans can march in the shade.

...stolen from a little german girl in the office.

Supporter of World peace and continued US dominance in the auto industry,
Martin
 
PB . . . as I believe you to be one of the sane individuals who fled to the US from a French influenced nation, I have to offer you a hearty congradulations in your choice of nations and a great big welcome. Am I correct that you will be (or perhaps recently have) just achieved your citizenship here?

And as for the French . . . I can only offer my hope that other nations follow the lead of the French grade schools in teaching foreign languages. I really wish I could speak a few foreign languages. The French are way ahead of most nations with their education system as their citizens can say "I SURRENDER" in more languages than any other nation on earth.
 
B_Skurka said:
PB . . . as I believe you to be one of the sane individuals who fled to the US from a French influenced nation, I have to offer you a hearty congradulations in your choice of nations and a great big welcome. Am I correct that you will be (or perhaps recently have) just achieved your citizenship here?

And as for the French . . . I can only offer my hope that other nations follow the lead of the French grade schools in teaching foreign languages. I really wish I could speak a few foreign languages. The French are way ahead of most nations with their education system as their citizens can say "I SURRENDER" in more languages than any other nation on earth.
Click to expand...

Thanks Bob,

Not a citizen yet. I just went through a long battle with the USCIS to get my "Green Card" so I have another 2-3 years before I can apply for citizenship.

As an ex-pat Canadian from BRITISH Columbia I have no regrets with my choice of countries. The USA is the greatest country in the world for so many reasons I can't even begin to list. I am always amazed at how many people in the USA take this country for granted. These same people would cry their way home if they were forced to live in any other country, pay the taxes in that country, and endure the repressive laws in that country.

Remember, in Canada there is no freedom of speech, they lock of people that try to plead the fifth amendment, and don't try protect yourself from criminals. I'll skip my complaints about taxes, health care, socialized everything.

As for the French, I try not to waste my time on them anymore. I already wasted way to much time having to learn (and promptly forget) their stupid language through high school.


:soapbox:
 
bczoom said:
Why did you qualify that to be only the auto industry?
Click to expand...
relax BC.
It's just the way I was raised.
If one can't make fun of one self, one shouldn't make fun. Thats all. Nothing sinister implied. No new world order or anything like that. No wearing orange on St. Patty's day insted of the twelth. I take it you also derive your livelihood from the auto industry. I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.
Listen, eschuar amigo, friend, the sole purpose of my visitation to forumsforums.com is to entertain both us and those fortunate to visit. Ocasionally my comments may be offensive. Bend over and take it like a man.
Wait, don't go jumping to conclusions. I really don't understand your question. I think you may have omitted a word or two.


In support of my first sentence, What's the most useless thing on a woman? An Irishman.
See.

Martin the fat bearded lady.
OK?
 
I was just saying that I like US dominance... period.

Absolutely no offense was meant and I was just jokingly saying that I like it that we're the sole super power left.

I'm not from the auto industry.
 
No.
I'm out for the holiday. Now I have to fend for myself.
I have a lot more to say but I have to re-type every other word---alcholc---alcohol, see what I mean? Just don't ave the time.
It's really crappy outside, raw and miserable.
Pray for sun.

On a sid enote, i Think there should be a thread for abuse. No arranging holidays, just plain abuse, (are you with me here Bonehead?). Somethign like that little tiny corner in Hyde Park where one can say aything about anyone without fear of retribution. Know what I mean? Cn you say democracy, not.



Abstinent Martin
 
Himself said:
...US dominance in the auto industry,
Click to expand...


Let's see
We have GM France has Renault
We have Ford France has Peugeot
We have Chrysler France has Citroen


I think I'll take our odds as a dominate force in the auto industry.

:beer:
 
You gotta love the French jokes.

If you collect military weapons, there are a lot of really nice french ones floating around. Like it was said. Never been fired and only dropped once. I picked up a brand new 1949/56 French Mas that was unfired. You would think that in 50 years they would have at least issued it and fired it once.

As fir the French. I'm half English and half French. The English side of me is constantly kicking the shit out of the French part of me.:o:o:o
 
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