# I just lost my ass !!!



## BigAl RIP

I know .....Its hard for me to believe too . I been trying real hard to lose weight and have been stuck for a week and a half at the same weight .

Something musta happened since yesterday . I appear to be losing body parts . Let me explain :

I am walking across the floor carrying my dinner plate to the sink when the phone rings . I answer the phone and its our daughter who always wants to talk with Mom . As I walk across the floor to hand off the phone and balance my dinner plate in the other I feel a funny feeling by my butt . Then it happened ????? My pants fell to my knees . The belt was tight and everything was still buttoned up . The wife looks up at me with my pants around my feet , shakes her head ,and says "I think you had one too many drinks " !
Now that was mean ! I had not even had one .......yet .

So now that I have had time to drink and rehash the whole situation , I think what happened is ,I been losing weight off my ass where I could not see it leaving . It appears my waist is still a 44 but my ass may be a size 36 now . Does this make sense ??? It sure is making more sense to me after my 2nd Dr. Rum . 
I can only wonder what may happen next !!!


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## muleman RIP

Do like I did and buy yourself a couple pairs of good 2 in, wide suspenders. All my pants do that since my surgeries and the 25-30 lbs. I lost. I did breakdown and spring for new jockeys but I have a bunch of jeans that are like new including some flannel lined ones for this cold weather.


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## BigAl RIP

muleman said:


> I did breakdown and spring for new jockeys


 
 No way I'm doin that !! I only got about 15 years on this pair that  I am wearin now . There just gettin "broke in" real nice


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## thcri RIP

TMI


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## BigAl RIP

Ok I been looking at my butt in the mirror . Its official ! It does appear I have lost my ass . PM me for further proof or pictures .


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## jpr62902

BigAl said:


> Ok I been looking at my butt in the mirror . Its official ! It does appear I have lost my ass . PM me for further proof or pictures .


 
-10 on the man card, Al.  But here's some music you might like ...... 

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye7PIyIcCro"]YouTube- West Side Story 1961 - "I feel pretty"[/ame]

But congrats on your weight loss all the same.


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## BigAl RIP

jpr62902 said:


> -10 on the man card, Al. But here's some music you might like ......
> 
> YouTube- West Side Story 1961 - "I feel pretty"


 
 That was beautiful ! I got tears . It may be the onions from dinner ......snfff.....


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## NorthernRedneck

Well Al, since you've lost your ass and no longer need any rear coverage, perhaps.....


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## BigAl RIP

Does it come in a bigger cup size ??? That looks a might small for a real Idaho mountain man  . 


   I do believe that might fit some of them there East Coast or "Kanada" "city dudes "with room to spare .


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## NorthernRedneck




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## tsaw

BigAl.. whatever you do with that shrinking ass of yours- never wear your pants like this:


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## EastTexFrank

Al, let me say that you are not alone.  The same thing happened to me a couple of years back after I lost 50 pounds.  I was out back reaching to cut a high branch with the chain saw and I could feel them start to slip but there wasn't much I could do about it since I wasn't going to let the chain saw fall or try to hold it with one hand.  I was left out in the pasture with my jeans around my ankles looking around to see if anyone was close enough to notice.  Worst thing was that the chain saw filled them with sawdust.  Losing weight isn't all that it's cracked up to be.  Sometimes it can be downright embarrassing.  Keep at it though bud, it'll be worth it.


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## BigAl RIP

EastTexFrank said:


> Al, let me say that you are not alone. Losing weight isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Sometimes it can be downright embarrassing.


 
Being fat was so much simpler . I do not know why I have to be a "Babe magnet" for every chick out there . I like smoking my cigar , sipping my Rum and watching the world go by from my deck on a island in the Caribbean . You would think that was enough . I am happy with that .... But now the world has decided that I must lose weight and be an example of the perfect man . I just want my damn cigar and a drink . I just wish the girls would stop fondling me !!!!  It makes me feel cheap ....

The things I do for you guys !!!! 



Can you say ....BORING .........


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## pirate_girl

LOLLLLLL!!
Al, I am cracking up!!
Well congrats on the discovery of a smaller ass.
This is truly golden news! Golden!

A while ago, I bought size 14 jeans. ( I am currently at 156- almost 5ft 10).
Put them in the closet, didn't think another thing about it.
Went out with a few girlfriends that next weekend to shop and have dinner.
Here I am getting dressed, tiny tighty t-shirt, the jeans and boots.
The jeans are loose. I figured it'd be ok.
NOT.
Over the course of walking, bending.. whatever.. the jeans loosened a little.
Every time I'd bend over or walk too fast, I was hiking them back up on what I consider ample 38" hips.
Came home, got my bags out of the car, dropped one, bent over... and Stan (the neighbourly window gawker says "Nice tattoo" ackkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!
Seems I should have bought the size 12 jeans, and that I had too (as you)- possibly lost some ass.

Ass losers, Unite!


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## jpr62902

I just reviewed my end-of-year IRA statement and it seems that I, too, have lost my ass.  At least I got some back this year and I'm only down 16% versus the 35% I was down at the end of '08.

Thread hijack over.  Again, congrats to all you "ass losers" out there.


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## nixon

A medical warning ............... 
Males should be careful not to lose too much ass . Losing too much ass could result in one sitting on their own dick .


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## pirate_girl

jpr62902 said:


> Thread hijack over. Again, congrats to all you "ass losers" out there.


Thanks Jim.
I must confess, I do like myself with a _slightly_ larger ass..





nixon said:


> A medical warning ...............
> Males should be careful not to lose too much ass . Losing too much ass could result in one sitting on their own dick .


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## fogtender

BigAl said:


> No way I'm doin that !! I only got about 15 years on this pair that I am wearin now . There just gettin "broke in" real nice


 
Man, you should get anothe pair to change out now and then for laundry day....


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## NorthernRedneck

I'm not sure where it went but I just lost my ass. Not sure what happened to it. It was there just the other day. I was wearing a belt yesterday and all of a sudden without warning my pants fell down when I stood up. [emoji848]

It's definitely gone. I just checked and my wife confirmed. I had to go to a size smaller pants  this morning and also an older belt with more notches. Even with the smaller size, my pants won't stay up. It's a sad day. [emoji26]

Canadian eh!!!


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## FrancSevin

NorthernRedneck said:


> I'm not sure where it went but I just lost my ass. Not sure what happened to it. It was there just the other day. I was wearing a belt yesterday and all of a sudden without warning my pants fell down when I stood up. [emoji848]
> 
> It's definitely gone. I just checked and my wife confirmed. I had to go to a size smaller pants this morning and also an older belt with more notches. Even with the smaller size, my pants won't stay up. It's a sad day. [emoji26]
> 
> Canadian eh!!!



Sounds exactly like my issue. A few years ago my ass began to migrate into my stomach. So now my Ass no longer supports my jeans when the new addition to my tummy presses down.

Size 36" jeans are too loose to stay up. And 34" jeans require a come-along fence tensioner device to close the top button. My ego won't allow suspenders. So, from time to time we have an exciting "event."


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## bczoom

FrancSevin said:


> Size 36" jeans are too loose to stay up. And 34" jeans require a come-along fence tensioner device to close the top button.


Have you considered getting 35"?


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## FrancSevin

bczoom said:


> Have you considered getting 35"?




 How would that help?
Can you say "GEOMETRY?"


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## pirate_girl

Whoa!
This takes me back.
Lol


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## NorthernRedneck

Lmao. Figured we were due for a blast from the past. Good ole bigal always had a way of getting us all riled up. Miss him. 

Canadian eh!!!


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## EastTexFrank

NorthernRedneck said:


> Lmao. Figured we were due for a blast from the past. Good ole bigal always had a way of getting us all riled up. Miss him.
> 
> Canadian eh!!!



I miss him too but in the mean time, my jeans are still falling down.  As Franc said, it's geometry … and gravity.


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## NorthernRedneck

I was shocked last night. I've been a size 40 for 3 years. Last week they were feeling tight. This week, they fell down without being unbuttoned. So I hauled out a pair of 38 size jeans and wore them yesterday. Last night, same thing happened. They dropped to the ground when I unbuckled my belt. 

So it's true, I did lose my ass. It's gone. No clue what happened to it. It was there one day then gone the next. [emoji2955]

Canadian eh!!!


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## NorthernRedneck

I have definitely lost it. I'm down to a size 34 which I haven't worn since grade 11. And I'm still losing.  This time last year I was 263lbs Last month I was holding around 225lbs. This month I'm down to 215lbs. Big change. Only problem is that I have to keep going out to buy new jeans. And now I can't do that without going to Walmart which I absolutely hate and have refused to step foot in for the past 2 years unless absolutely necessary.


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## FrancSevin

NorthernRedneck said:


> I have definitely lost it. I'm down to a size 34 which I haven't worn since grade 11. And I'm still losing. This time last year I was 263lbs Last month I was holding around 225lbs. This month I'm down to 215lbs. Big change. Only problem is that I have to keep going out to buy new jeans. And now I can't do that without going to Walmart which I absolutely hate and have refused to step foot in for the past 2 years unless absolutely necessary.



A lot of Farm and home stores carry jeans.  Cheaper than Wal-Mart. 
We have Rural King's here in the lower Midwest.  They have great jeans for $10.00 to $30.00. 

As for the OP, My pants  at 34"waist still fall down.  I'm down to 195 Lbs from 230 lbs. The Beer gut remains


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## mla2ofus

I went up from 170 last summer to 180 this winter and the beer gut has slowly developed over years and it didn't even require any beer to build it.
Mike


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## NorthernRedneck

I haven't been able to drink beer since the fall due to stomach problems. My diet and activity level haven't changed much. But I'm still on a downward slope. Good problem to complain about. Except that with pretty much everything other than grocery stores and pharmacies ordered closed, it makes shopping for clothes difficult. Sure I can order online but what happens if whatever I order comes in and doesn't fit. It's just a pain but I get it. Hopefully this doesn't drag on too long.


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## FrancSevin

mla2ofus said:


> I went up from 170 last summer to 180 this winter and the beer gut has slowly developed over years and it didn't even require any beer to build it.
> Mike


Well then, I'd have to say, it was done improperly.


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