# Being shut out hurts....



## Angelface

Not sure why I am posting this here as I don't feel like I fit in here anymore either.. but just want to vent...

I broke out of my hermit mode last year.. found an awesome friend.... then became friends with a group of people that I mistakenly began to have trust in. Made a lot of new friends and shared  a lot of good times with them. Suddenly I felt valued and wanted.. Then some drama goes down awhile ago that I am not part of.. but since I am friends with the one person they all hate.. I get shut out.. and now no one wants anything to do with me because im still friends with her.. 

Why are people like this? She has done nothing wrong to me.. so why should I shut her out? Why should they all shut me out even tho I had no part in any of it? I get told to not take it personal, or that it "Isn't me"... then why am I being thrown out then?? Kinda hard not too... 

Seriously... I'm ready to just get back into my hermit mode and shut everyone and everything out again and revisit my depression... At least that doesn't give up on me..


----------



## tiredretired

Angelface said:


> Not sure why I am posting this here as I don't feel like I fit in here anymore either.. but just want to vent...
> 
> I broke out of my hermit mode last year.. found an awesome friend.... then became friends with a group of people that I mistakenly began to have trust in. Made a lot of new friends and shared  a lot of good times with them. Suddenly I felt valued and wanted.. Then some drama goes down awhile ago that I am not part of.. but since I am friends with the one person they all hate.. I get shut out.. and now no one wants anything to do with me because im still friends with her..
> 
> Why are people like this? She has done nothing wrong to me.. so why should I shut her out? Why should they all shut me out even tho I had no part in any of it? I get told to not take it personal, or that it "Isn't me"... then why am I being thrown out then?? Kinda hard not too...
> 
> Seriously... I'm ready to just get back into my hermit mode and shut everyone and everything out again and revisit my depression... At least that doesn't give up on me..



You fit in here.  It is just an old guy like me has little in common these days with the younger generation.  When we were your age it was a completely different world.  Nothing like today.  That is all.

Those people are not your friends if they treat you like that.  Screw them and the horse they rode in on.  You are better off without them.  My friends are with me through thick and thin, as I am with them.  

Maybe a pet to fill a void in your life?  Pets can be the best friends you will ever have in life.  Unconditional love.  After spending an hour in a gun store who is the happiest to see me come back, my Yorkie or my wife?  You guessed it.  Sophie the Yorkie.


----------



## Catavenger

Hey, if I who has _never seen snow _can fit in with snowmobile guys you can fit in.


----------



## Ironman

If it was me I'd go into hermit mode or whatever. I'd concentrate on my children and say the hell with drama in my social life. Who needs friends like that anyway. If you were a guy I'd say grow a set of balls and get over it.


----------



## Angelface

Haha thank you to all three of you... yes actually I thought about that... a cat would be wonderful.. that's the new me.. cat lady that started with 1 and now 20 lol.


Yes I'll try and umm well get over it... thanks for that.. I actually apperceite blunt feedback lol


----------



## pirate_girl

First of all, who says you don't fit in here?
Forums are full of people from every walk of life and experience.
I think that is the larger part of what your concern is.

You have kids and are an adult woman, but your post sounds like a teen who has been jilted at school from the IN crowd.
Don't worry about them. Worry about you, your family and true friendships.


----------



## Jim_S RIP

You fit in here just fine. 



> Who needs friends like that anyway?



Exactly!


----------



## Angelface

pirate_girl said:


> First of all, who says you don't fit in here?
> Forums are full of people from every walk of life and experience.
> I think that is the larger part of what your concern is.
> 
> You have kids and are an adult woman, but your post sounds like a teen who has been jilted at school from the IN crowd.
> Don't worry about them. Worry about you, your family and true friendships.



That is so true and I thought about that... Some old feelings from 11+ years ago started coming back and made me realize that it may not be healthy... lol thank you  <3


----------



## NorthernRedneck

People come and go in life. What is important is how you see and treat yourself. I stopped worrying a long time ago about what others thought of me. It's what I think of myself that matters. If society can't accept me for who I am then screw them. They aren't worth my time. 

I was in a bad accident at age 5 that left me with a broken jaw and right leg and in a coma for 3 weeks. That was back in the early 80s. I was the kid who was labelled in class by the teacher as being a "useless cripple who will never amount to anything" because of it. I could have easily fallen into the whole drug scene at an early age. I chose way back then to be stronger than that and say screw you, if you can't accept me for me thdn it's your loss. In the end I completed 2 yrs of college and have always had a full time job. Bought my first house at 18. Have 5 wonderful children and a great wife. I wouldn't have any of that if I listened to society. Not bad for a useless cripple who will never amount to anything!  The choice is yours.


----------



## waybomb

Why do people feel they need to lower the threshold for the title of friend, so you can say you have lotsa friends? 

For me to call somebody a friend, that person needs to be somebody I could trust with my worldly goods and my inner self. They'd take a bullet for me, and me for them.

My wife and two buddies fill the bill. That's all I have. Everybody else is just an acquaintance.


----------



## Glenn9643

Some people don't stop to think about it, but most people can count their true friends on the fingers of one hand.  We have many acquaintances who come and go in our lives.  When you find a friend treasure that person as family.


----------



## rback33

You fit in fine here! I'll always lend you an ear when you need one! People change over time. It's just the way it goes. My circle of friends is very small like some of the others. Less drama that way.


----------



## NorthernRedneck

What he said.


----------



## EastTexFrank

NorthernRedneck said:


> What he said.



What he said ... twice.


----------



## zekeusa

Your thin skinned like I am but working for an ass for a boss has made me less sensitive. Those people aren't worth your time. Maybe your real friend is the person their shutting out? I think in life you can count your friends on one hand. I have two.


----------



## Danang Sailor

Angel, you have to stop letting others define who you are, and start defining yourself.  From all I have seen here you are a good person with a big heart but with emotions that you wear like a second skin, which makes them *very* easy to bruise.  You seem to feel you need the validation of others to be a worthwhile person which is not true, _however_ ...

If that is the case, let *us* be your friends!    We won't put you down, lead you on then dump you, or disappear when you need help.  Now come over here, get a big hug, and tell the world to take a flying leap!


----------



## Angelface

Thanks so much everyone. I've been trying each day!


----------



## luvs

bleep ppl that mistreat u-- u need not have them mistreating u & that is that--


----------



## loboloco

Remember, angel, people break down into three categories,

1. People that need killing immediately.
2. People that are working their way into category one.
3.  People you haven't met yet.


----------

