# Life's a circle



## American Woman

The room is dim...
It's only me, and him.
I cry for him
Hey, shhhhh....I'm here, I'm here......*whisper*
He comforts me with a kiss brushed across my cheek
He hugs me tight and I am loved......

What about you?
Me?  I'm strong....there's nothing wrong
The room is dim...
It's only me, and him.
The sounds, they are consuming, they clutch my heart
all the while It's looking grim
He calls.....
Are you there? Are you still here?
I stand there froze in fear
Hey, shhhhh....I'm here, I'm here......*whisper*
My eyes are filled with tears
His with pain...
Like you....I am strong
I am going to be ok....Now, run along
The others.....they wait.
I will be ok if you never wake....
Hey, shhhhh....I'm here, I'm here......*whisper*
....I love you Daddy


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## Bobcat

original?


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## American Woman

Yes it is....It's my last minutes with Daddy.....it still hurts....it felt good putting these feelings into words...


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## thcri RIP

You miss your dad a lot don't you?  Good poem it shall help you through it.


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## American Woman

I_ know_ he's in a better place...it's those last days and minutes I can't work out of my head or make sense of yet. I woke last night and couldn't sleep


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## urednecku

And I wish with all my heart there was something, ANY thing, I could do to take that pain away....


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## Trakternut

Yeah, Redneck, there's just some things we can't do for our ladies, no matter how hard we wish.  Tough watchin' 'em deal with losses, ain't it?


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## urednecku

Trakternut said:


> Yeah, Redneck, there's just some things we can't do for our ladies, no matter how hard we wish.  Tough watchin' 'em deal with losses, ain't it?


Yes, it is.


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## American Woman

urednecku said:


> And I wish with all my heart there was something, ANY thing, I could do to take that pain away....





Trakternut said:


> Yeah, Redneck, there's just some things we can't do for our ladies, no matter how hard we wish.  Tough watchin' 'em deal with losses, ain't it?



Some people have actually implied that dwelling was a sign of weakness, or just say, "what a whinner". I go about my daily life. I never skipped a beat after this....well except for that nap I took later that day.
 I'm allowed to feel something and not be called a whiner. 
I have to laugh at people that spew things like this ......It's a sign of their own weakness to not be able to show compassion. I'm not dwelling on the painful stuff. What doesn't kill me, will only make me stronger. It shows you two men have seen some broken heart moments of your own. You reach out with no malice....only gentleness.


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## cowgirl

AW I know what you mean about those last days and minutes and not being able to work them out of your head or make sense of them.

when I was in high school I watched my 26 yr. old cousin die from a drug overdose.  the memory of him just before he passed away will be with me for life.  as time passes I lose the good memories, but that last memory will never fade.


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## Trakternut

American Woman said:


> Some people have actually implied that dwelling was a sign of weakness, or just say, "what a whinner". I go about my daily life. I never skipped a beat after this....well except for that nap I took later that day.
> I'm allowed to feel something and not be called a whiner.
> I have to laugh at people that spew things like this ......It's a sign of their own weakness to not be able to show compassion. I'm not dwelling on the painful stuff. What doesn't kill me, will only make me stronger. It shows you two men have seen some broken heart moments of your own. You reach out with no malice....only gentleness.


 Corey, you know damn well what my household has been through in the last ten years.


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## American Woman

Trakternut said:


> Corey, you know damn well what my household has been through in the last ten years.


Yes, I do....you still deserve a little noticing 
 Monte, not everyone comes out of hard times more compassionate than when they went in. 
Yer are one of the good guys.....you can like it...or lump it.


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## Trakternut

American Woman said:


> Yes, I do....you still deserve a little noticing
> Monte, not everyone comes out of hard times more compassionate than when they went in.
> Yer are one of the good guys.....you can like it...or lump it.



Yeah, well,  don't let that word get out. I don't want nobody thinkin' I belong in Sushi's apartment.


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## American Woman

cowgirl said:


> AW I know what you mean about those last days and minutes and not being able to work them out of your head or make sense of them.
> 
> when I was in high school I watched my 26 yr. old cousin die from a drug overdose.  the memory of him just before he passed away will be with me for life.  as time passes I lose the good memories, but that last memory will never fade.


I know there will be an easier time for me "with time". 
Momma died 11 years ago, and the memories of her dieing are the first lost battle for me. I thought when she stopped breathing I wouldn't be able to breath myself. But finally with time I'm able to see her in myself, and I see her in my kids. I still remember the hard times but they don't hurt as much. So I know there will be a time I remember Daddy with laughter. Right now when I do remember the times he was funny I feel sad because of his pain in the end. 
Time really does help.


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## American Woman

Trakternut said:


> Yeah, well,  don't let that word get out. I don't want nobody thinkin' I belong in Sushi's apartment.


 Sushi's apartment?   You probably wouldn't fit in


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## Trakternut

Yuh callin' me *fat* ???


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## thcri RIP

Trakternut said:


> Yuh callin' me *fat* ???



Come on Cory do it, call him Fat.


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## Trakternut




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## American Woman

*FAT!**









Steve made me do it!***


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## Trakternut

Uh huh. Sure.......you betcha.  Blame poor Stevie for your misdeeds.  Now I s'pose you'll say he's the father of your chi..............nevermind.


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## Bobcat

Can't believe youse guys are calling Mr. Potato Head fat! That's just not right.  


_By the way T-nuts, looks like someone pushed your mustache in a little crooked. Give it a little twist to your right._


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## American Woman

Redneck supports them so that's my story and I'm stick'in to it 

Yer not fat....just manly


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## thcri RIP

Ewes not fat, Ewes fluffy


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## American Woman

Bobcat said:


> Can't believe youse guys are calling Mr. Potato Head fat! That's just not right.


Mr. Potato head?  That was funny right there.....even if you are T-nutz


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## American Woman

thcri said:


> Ewes not fat, Ewes fluffy


*Manly*


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## Trakternut

*I-B Fooffy!!!!*


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## American Woman

Trakternut said:


> *I-B Fooffy!!!!*


......that's too close to foo foo 
You'll be at Sushi's for dinner tomorrow for sure.


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## Trakternut

Nuh-uh. Tomorrow I gotta do sewer stuff. No lunch at Shusi's place.  Besides, I gotta keep my man card up. That Foo-foo stuff won't help that cause none at all!


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## American Woman

Ok....so MANLY it is


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## cowgirl

speaking of man cards-whatever happened to the man card poll regarding redneck????


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## American Woman

cowgirl said:


> speaking of man cards-whatever happened to the man card poll regarding redneck????


I think he won the right to keep all his points in tact


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## Trakternut

Ohhh, I think he's holding his own, meaning he's out by the barn peeing!


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## cowgirl

Is that all it takes?  LOL


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## ddrane2115

Nice thread, Cory you rock and you know what my family has been thru, so we know your pain, and what you are going thru.  My dad died 5 years ago this coming Jan 1, will never forget the last nite when I said goodbye, not knowing it was the last time I would see him alive.

I have no doubt he is not suffering now, can walk now, does not need braces or a wheel chair.   All  that matters now.


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## Trakternut

I hope so, otherwise, me going out behind the garage and using the neighbors tree............


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## American Woman

ddrane2115 said:


> Nice thread, Cory you rock and you know what my family has been thru, so we know your pain, and what you are going thru.  My dad died 5 years ago this coming Jan 1, will never forget the last nite when I said goodbye, not knowing it was the last time I would see him alive.
> 
> I have no doubt he is not suffering now, can walk now, does not need braces or a wheel chair.   All  that matters now.


I envy my brother and sisters that said their good byes and went home and wern't in the room at the end. I have said it a hundred times....I was STUPID for hanging on to the promise of not leaving him. If he had known what was to come he would have made me promise to leave with them


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## cowgirl

AW I wouldn't call you stupid.  I would have done the same thing.


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## Deadly Sushi

> Yeah, well,  don't let that word get out. I don't want nobody thinkin' I belong in Sushi's apartment.


 

 HEY!!! What the hell?!


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## American Woman

I stress that so maybe someone in the same situation will give it a second thought.
We have to know when to let go of some of the promises we make.


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## American Woman

Deadly Sushi said:


> HEY!!! What the hell?!


Yeah...nobody told ya you might have a new roommate ?


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## cowgirl

just think male bonding


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## Trakternut

Nuh-uh. No way! 
Hey Corey??  Do you think you really could leave him alone in those last hours?  I think I know that answer.


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## American Woman

Trakternut said:


> Hey Corey??  Do you think you really could leave him alone in those last hours?  I think I know that answer.


No....not me at that time. I was fierce about my promise, and the weaker he got the stronger I became. I just hope MY kids hear me and don't go thru it. If I have presence of mind I will make them leave. It's hard enough to say goodbye.


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## Trakternut

I  hear what  you're saying. However, I  hate to see anyone die alone.  If I'm in the position you were, I think I would have to stay by until the last breath. If I didn't, I'd feel like I'd left something very unfinished with my loved one.  One must do what one feels right at the time.


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## American Woman

A part of me is honored that I was there for his ending like he was my beginning. The first part of my poem is him comforting me as a baby. I believe our death here is a birth on the other side. The end of my poem was me comforting him when he needed me. The "others" waiting were loved ones that left before him.


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## urednecku

Yes, I also was with my Daddy at the end. We made the decision to remove life support, as his condition was "not compatible with life", as the doctors put it. I can still see, feel him struggling to hang on, to breath. I had to tell him it was OK to go, that I would take care of Mama. I watched him relax at that time.

Yes, I also know the feeling. The hurt. The comfort. The closure. And several more emotions.


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## American Woman

urednecku said:


> Yes, I also was with my Daddy at the end. We made the decision to remove life support, as his condition was "not compatible with life", as the doctors put it. I can still see, feel him struggling to hang on, to breath. I had to tell him it was OK to go, that I would take care of Mama. I watched him relax at that time.
> 
> Yes, I also know the feeling. The hurt. The comfort. The closure. And several more emotions.


Your Daddy was a good man. An old fashioned God respecting cowboy. This is why you are special.....If he did anything right it was you.


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