# The "Boss's Son"



## thcri RIP

I have been struggling some lately as I just found out my son who has worked for me for about ten years now has struggled with a lot of other employees since he has been here.  I am not sure if they are upset that some day he will own the company or what but it just seems like lately they are doing a lot of bitching about him and really no reason.  He told one employee the other day that when he runs the company that employee would be one of his right hand man.  This upset this employee and now everyone is complaining about it.  I know I worked for my dad many moons ago and I did struggle with stuff like I always got the dirty jobs etc etc.  Is there such a thing "The bosses son syndrome" out there or am I thinking off base here?  I have never given him anymore than any one else, he started with a shovel in his hand and even many others have started and have higher status than he does.

murph


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## bczoom

Murph,

Some people will consider his being there as nepotism.  I'm surprised that after him being there for 10 years, they still have an issue with it.

Any thoughts/ideas why people are complaining about him?  If not, I'd ask them.  Almost everywhere, employees bitch about some aspects of their job.  Most won't say anything to their employer but I wonder if your son is around, it doesn't let them do the bitching amongst themselves.

I would "think" they should understand it's your company and you can hire anyone you want.  I would also "think" they would do the same by training your son the trade so in the future you could pass the company onto him.


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## DaveNay

Murph,

I actually wonder if you have possibly done him a disservice by treating him exactly the same as others.  In my opinion, the boss's son is the heir apparent, and next in line to the throne and should be treated that way.  By making him "one of the guys", his authority with the other employees has not been established.

Perhaps it is time to make your intentions well known to everyone, and establish the fact that your son will most likely be assuming control of the company at the appropriate time in the future, and you expect everyone to treat him with the same respect and authority that you are.  This doesn't mean everyone has to cover their eyes and bow everytime they see you guys, hell, I've told the owner of my company to go F-off, but that doesn't change my respect for his authority.


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## riptides

People have this false sense of entitlement. Your business is NOT their business. It seems as thou some have not figured that out during their tenure of employment.

-Mike Z.


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## XeVfTEUtaAqJHTqq

Sounds like everyone needs to be reminded who's the boss.  (It's you).

Your son needs to be reminded that he is in a priviledged position and learn to be more diplomatic.  It sounds like you may need to advance him up the status ladder.  If he doesn't get into a "top" position soon then he will never get the respect needed to run the show (if you intend to give the show to him).  If he can't handle the duties at the top then maybe you need to have a talk with him and let him know your concerns.

It's a hard thing working for a parent.  I'm thankful I never had to work for my dad.  I'm also not a fan of nepotism.  I never want to hire a friend or family member or work for a friend or family member.  I think it screws with the "level playing field" and introduces too much potential for personal conflict outside of the workplace.

Just my opinion though.

PB


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## mtntopper

DaveNay said:
			
		

> Murph,
> 
> I actually wonder if you have possibly done him a disservice by treating him exactly the same as others. In my opinion, the boss's son is the heir apparent, and next in line to the throne and should be treated that way. By making him "one of the guys", his authority with the other employees has not been established.
> 
> Perhaps it is time to make your intentions well known to everyone, and establish the fact that your son will most likely be assuming control of the company at the appropriate time in the future, and you expect everyone to treat him with the same respect and authority that you are. This doesn't mean everyone has to cover their eyes and bow everytime they see you guys, hell, I've told the owner of my company to go F-off, but that doesn't change my respect for his authority.


 
Excellent advice above. 

It is time if he is going to mange the business in the future to make sure he is put in to a position of authority to establish the fact he will be the boss. Do not assume that he can just step into your shoes. 

He must also hold himself to the high standards associated with the business ownership, management and being in control of the business to be respected by the employees. If he does not hold himself to the standards associated with the business ownership this will open the door for employee discontentment and resentment. He will need to gain the respect of the employees by knowing how the business operates, being able to run it successfully, showing the ability to lead employees and not just by being appointed the boss. 

Both of my children worked in the family business and the employees always seemed to believe they received "special treatmet." This special treatment was just preparing them to manage, own and lead the busines successfully in the future. One of your jobs is to prepare your son to be successful at your job. A certain amount of employee resentment will always be present in a family owned and managed business as this limits the ability for employee advancement and ownership options in a closely held family buiness.


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## Spiffy1

thcri said:
			
		

> He told one employee the other day that when he runs the company that employee would be one of his right hand man. This upset this employee and now everyone is complaining about it. murph


 
Perhaps, I'm playing the devil's advocate here, but unless you actually have the date on the calander (and it's within, let's say, the next year) and every employee knows it; I can see where that statement could be offensive.  Perhaps, your son is bringing on some of his own trouble just with poor choices of words.

That said, I think you are doing the right thing making him familiar (both for learning and for earning his future responsibilities) with every task.  I'll agree with the others that it's best your employees know clearly what your intentions are (I'd hate to work my butt off, be the best candidate, then be sideswiped by some lazy relative; nepotism at its best!), and maybe even when you get a date on the calander he could use a worthy title.  

Until then though, I'd say he's best status quo, but you need to speak with all your employees (individually, and including him) and find out whether they're all petty, he hasn't learned tact, or maybe a vicious cycle of both.

That all said, I know absolutely nothing of the topic, so take my two cents at a highly discounted value.


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## BigAl RIP

I was a bosses son , I did not get any breaks .I also had to learn how to handle smart ass employees .
I started going on the job site with Dad every Summer at 9 . Dad owned a Construction Company .A big one . I started by picking up wood and cleaning out ditches . At 14 ,I finally got to use a Skill Saw and run some equipment . At 15 I was taken into the office everyday after school and taught accounting and bookkeeping . At 17, I started an Architectural Major in College while still in high school . At 19 ,I started my own Architectural Design Business, while still putting in 40 hours a week as a carpenter .Dad put me with his best employees and nobody gave me a break ! At 20 ,I took and passed the California Contractors license Exam on my own . Dad did not believe in adding me to his license . I had to wait 6 months to receive it because in California you must be 21 to have a Contractors license .I was the youngest contractor in the state at the time .This was when California gave quite a test for the license, not like now . At 23 ,I took over running my fathers company and continued to until he retired . At 27, I took total charge , owned the company and added a Engineering license to my résumé . I picked up a few other businesses and licenses along the way .I retired at 47 .

So what am I trying to say ??? The BOSSES son will and always has been looked down upon by the employees ,in most cases. He better have some thick skin .He is going to need it . He has to gain their respect through his actions . Get him in a minor leadership role as soon as possible . Teach him to respect others at all times . We have all seen the smart mouth Boss’s son act like they own the company ,no nothing and want everyone to bow or be impressed when they walk by .
Don't just hand the company over to him ,make him earn it through his actions . If the employees knows more about the business than the son does, than you have a problem . Those employees can dictate how things are going to be done . That’s bad . 
A bosses son will never be one of the boy’s . We don’t get that privilege . We make decisions that affects lives of other people and their employment . It can be a crappy job at times . We start early and work late . There is no 40 hour work week . Try 60 to 70 for a average . It will be a job many will never succeed at .


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## Gerard

BigAl said:
			
		

> I was a bosses son , I did not get any breaks .I also had to learn how to handle smart ass employees .
> I started going on the job site with Dad every Summer at 9 . Dad owned a Construction Company .A big one . I started by picking up wood and cleaning out ditches . At 14 ,I finally got to use a Skill Saw and run some equipment . At 15 I was taken into the office everyday after school and taught accounting and bookkeeping . At 17, I started an Architectural Major in College while still in high school . At 19 ,I started my own Architectural Design Business, while still putting in 40 hours a week as a carpenter .Dad put me with his best employees and nobody gave me a break ! At 20 ,I took and passed the California Contractors license Exam on my own . Dad did not believe in adding me to his license . I had to wait 6 months to receive it because in California you must be 21 to have a Contractors license .I was the youngest contractor in the state at the time .This was when California gave quite a test for the license, not like now . At 23 ,I took over running my fathers company and continued to until he retired . At 27, I took total charge , owned the company and added a Engineering license to my résumé . I picked up a few other businesses and licenses along the way .I retired at 47 .
> 
> So what am I trying to say ??? The BOSSES son will and always has been looked down upon by the employees ,in most cases. He better have some thick skin .He is going to need it . He has to gain their respect through his actions . Get him in a minor leadership role as soon as possible . Teach him to respect others at all times . We have all seen the smart mouth Boss’s son act like they own the company ,no nothing and want everyone to bow or be impressed when they walk by .
> Don't just hand the company over to him ,make him earn it through his actions . If the employees knows more about the business than the son does, than you have a problem . Those employees can dictate how things are going to be done . That’s bad .
> A bosses son will never be one of the boy’s . We don’t get that privilege . We make decisions that affects lives of other people and their employment . It can be a crappy job at times . We start early and work late . There is no 40 hour work week . Try 60 to 70 for a average . It will be a job many will never succeed at .



*I like your story. Straight to the point and very factually stated.  *


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