# Oil Change: do it yourself or go to Jiffy lube?



## Doc

Anyone have a similar experience? 

Oil change instructions:
Oil Change Instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches owners manual recommendation for the next oil change.
2) Drink a cup of complimentary coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil Change $40.00
Time spent: 15 minutes
Total spent: $40.00
============================== ==============================
Oil Change Instructions for Men:
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by liquor store and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open first beer and drink it, to assess the situation.
4) Plan to jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands behind garden hoses, rakes and assorted crap. Jack up vehicle.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process, cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.
18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of storing it for recycling.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to grocery store to buy more beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface. (Note that the filter companies tell you to do this just to ensure that the GASKET is actually there.)
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.
27) Drink beer.
28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids' sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas over a bad patch of lawn.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
30) Drink beer.
31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
36) More beer.
37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
38) Beer.
39) Beer.
40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over and get arrested for driving under the influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Call loving wife, she makes bail.
50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Time spent: 15 hours, including jail time.
Money spent:
Parts $50.00
DUI $2500.00
Impound fee $75.00
Bail $1500.00
Beer $40.00
Total - - $4,165.00
But at least a guy knows the job was done right!!!


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## JimVT

my wife gets all maintenance done at her vw dealership.


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## Doc

JimVT said:


> my wife gets all maintenance done at her vw dealership.


And if at all like the guy talked about above, you save a fortune.


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## tiredretired

Except for the beer part, you've been spying on me changing my oil haven't you?


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## NorthernRedneck

And if you have my luck at the jiffy lube they'll either strip your drain plug or forget to reinstall it. That's after they overtorque the oil filter causing the rubber o ring to split. Yep. Had all of those happen to me. That's what you get when you let a grade 9 dropout do an oil change.


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## JimVT

in 1980 about the same happened to my brother.  he noticed he  was 3 quarts low the next day in his truck.


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## EastTexFrank

And that my friend is the reason why I don't do oil changes on any of the vehicles any more ... apart from the fact that I don't seem to fit under cars any more.  

I still do the tractors, diesel mower and Gator and all the small engine stuff although I probably won't do the Gator again.  It's too much of a hassle.  You have to remove all the skid plates, not just one, to get to the drain plug and filter.  Next oil change, it goes to the dealer.


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## FrancSevin

My cars and trucks are so old they do not require a standard oil change procedure.  They are all on the replenishment system.

 Pour a quart of oil ,,,; have a beer.  Seems to work.


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## jimbo

JimVT said:


> in 1980 about the same happened to my brother.  he noticed he  was 3 quarts low the next day in his truck.



That happened to me a couple years back.  Got as far as Louisville before I noticed I was 2 quarts low.

I now have an excellent shop for oil changes.  Gets the job done in 30 minutes.  No 31 point let's see what we can sell 'em inspection.  Free coffee.  21 bucks.  Even with the 7 quart sump and new oil filter.

I've learned.  I won't give up my Saturday for a couple bucks.


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## tiredretired

FrancSevin said:


> My cars and trucks are so old they do not require a standard oil change procedure.  They are all on the replenishment system.
> 
> Pour a quart of oil ,,,; have a beer.  Seems to work.



Sorry Franc, I'm not buying that.  Those two Xfires, especially Mother's SRT require TLC and lots of it.


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## Doc

FrancSevin said:


> My cars and trucks are so old they do not require a standard oil change procedure.  They are all on the replenishment system.
> 
> Pour a quart of oil ,,,; have a beer.  Seems to work.


I had one like that.    Dummy me I still changed oil once a year or so.


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## MrLiberty

didn't drink beer, I prefered Jack Daniels.


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## tiredretired

Doc said:


> I had one like that.    Dummy me I still changed oil once a year or so.



yup, my 64 Dodge Dart GT same thing.  Needed to add non detergent once in a while.  Slant Six engine and three on the tree. I got rid of it and the hippie that bought it ran it for years.


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## EastTexFrank

The first car I had when I came to the States was a '76 Mercury Grand Marquis Brougham with a 460 in it.  I loved that "tank" but it needed a quart of oil every 2K miles and I still changed the oil every 5K.  

I stored it at the farm and my M-I-L gave it away in return for some work she had done.  I was heartbroken. I loved that car.  I intended to restore it and drive it forever.


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## tiredretired

I'm enjoying this thread because gas and oil talk is one of my favorite subjects.


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## k-dog

I tried the quick lube places, at least had the wife take the vehicles there with the instructions they are to only do the oil change service.  They tried to get her to buy a transmission flush on a vehicle that was a year old with 14,000 miles.  They also cracked the antifreeze reservoir to which they took no responsibility for.  So I do my own now.  No alcohol for me and no jack or stands as vehicles set high enough for me to get under.


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## bczoom

No way I would use a quick-lube place.

I do resemble the flow in the original post _except taking it for a test drive._

Now that we have 6 cars (picked up another last weekend), I'm honestly trying to couple oil changes with some maintenance so I can have my indy shop do the oil changes.  It's just becoming a PITA to do all the oil changes at home.


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## EastTexFrank

bczoom said:


> No way I would use a quick-lube place.
> 
> I do resemble the flow in the original post _except taking it for a test drive._
> 
> Now that we have 6 cars (picked up another last weekend), I'm honestly trying to couple oil changes with some maintenance so I can have my indy shop do the oil changes.  It's just becoming a PITA to do all the oil changes at home.



That was me.  We have an RV, 4 vehicles, 2 tractors, a front mount diesel mower, a gator, 2 generators and all the small engine stuff.  It was getting to be a real chore keeping up with it all.  Now, the RV and the vehicles are done by someone else and the Gator is about to join that list.


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## waybomb

I love my benzes and my topsider. Change oil and filter from the top. Don't even need to put work clothes on, regular clean street clothes are fine. And a pair of blue nitrile gloves.
Takes 15 minutes tops. Then I drive the 2 gallons over to the marina and pour it in their furnace tank.
Two 5 quart m1 gold cap from wally world at 26 bucks each, leaves me with two quarts toward the next one, and a 7 dollar fleece filter and I'm good to go for about 18,000 miles.


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## FrancSevin

TiredRetired said:


> Sorry Franc, I'm not buying that. Those two Xfires, especially Mother's SRT require TLC and lots of it.


 I must take exception to that.  The Xfires aren't cars, they are living organisms. Generally treated better than my pets.


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