# Tips For A Lasting Marriage



## Junkman

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go  on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine  is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere... but, she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.  "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested  the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread  maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit  down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was  water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In  the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud  fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the  garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was  "Always".

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to  interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on  the TV?" I said "Dust!"


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## ddrane2115

Junk, 

Classic funny. I laughed till I cried. What a hoot.


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