# I pee off my back porch



## Ray

My wife thinks this is wrong. 

My dogs pee outside all the time.

Sometimes we do a group pee on the back oak tree.....

Its a mans right to pee off the portch aint it?

I never drip a drop on the portch.....always hit the grass.


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## Deerlope

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

You are lucky that you live in a place that you can do that.


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## Doc

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Hey Ray, sounds like your going to fit in nicely here on FF.

We had a thread not to long back where a few of us were bragging that we can pee out back anytime cause no neighbors or passerby s could see us.

If you are doing it in the midst of a development or community your wife might have a point.  Lets hope that is not the case.  

ps. SIL used to live in Kingwood.  I was there a couple of times ....over 10 years ago.


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## thcri RIP

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Ray said:


> I never drip a drop on the portch.....always hit the grass.




Sounds to me like your bragging   


If you got a big enough place to do that then do it.  I always did it on the farm we just never had a porch.  But as kids we use to have contest inside the grain bins to see who could shoot the farthest.  It seemed to me the ones with the little ones could always shoot the farthest thus I never won.


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## fogtender

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

What waste, you could be out marking the whole yard....  who wants to just lay claim to a porch... Sounds like the dog has more ownership rights except for the Oak tree and porch.

If the wife objects, then piss on the corners of the porch and you can blame it on the dog....


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## Big Dog

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

I pee off the *front *porch ............... ha ha ................


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## Troy

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Ray said:


> Sometimes we do a group pee on the back oak tree.....


 
Just spit water at the computer monitor


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## Galvatron

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

free the pee  

just remember to wash it down as it kills the grass.


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## urednecku

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Been peeing off back AND front poarch all my life! Ya gotta LOVE the country life!!


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## Spiffy1

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Don't forget about from the porch roof for distance.


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## mtntopper

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

For distance, total velocity and ground effects the second floor deck is hard to beat....


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## Reaper497

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Big Dog said:


> I pee off the *front *porch ............... ha ha ................



I pee off of both the front and back porches... 

But Beaux has the tires on our vehicles covered....irate:


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## Troy

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Today I decided to pee off the top of my house. My backyard has a deck and from the deck it's easy to climb on top of my house, so as I was peeing, my next door neighbor came out and all I've to say is I'm sorry  he was totally in the way!


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## NorthernRedneck

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

All this pee talk reminds me of an incident that happened with my dad a few years ago.

My dad is a truck driver hauling logs in the bush.  He's got a colostomy($hit) bag.(he had colitis and had to have his colon removed in the mid 90's)  Anyway, one day, he was on top his load of logs doing up his cables when he decided to empty his bag from the top of his load on the ground.  I guess it kinda splattered all over.  He continued on with his cables after that.  

Wait, it gets better!  His haul forman(whom he didn't really care to much for in the first place)  pulled up in a pickup and got out then started looking around my dads trailer at his load.  My dad claims he saw him bend down and stick his finger in the brown stuff all over the ground, smell it, then look up to him and say, "Geez, this mud looks a bit different than the rest of the ground around here!"  

My dad almost fell off his load of logs laughing his a$$ off!


True story!


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## Deadly Sushi

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

If I peed of my balcony, there would be 60 apartment in view of me. Plus the folks on the ground.... the pool..... the apartments across from the pool.


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## Doc

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Good story Brian. Rep points for you.


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## k-dog

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Doc, is that Kingwood, WV you are referring to?

I peed off my back deck once and the wife told me to quit pissing in the pool .

Funny story about my 5 year old (actually turns 5 tomorrow), we were out in the yard and he had to pee.  We told him to go on the other side of the play house and pee, well he misunderstood and went on the other side of the play house and let her fly.  On that side the road goes by 200 feet away and of course he dropped his pants almost to his ankles.
When we are in the pool and he has to pee, he would go down at the bottom of the steps of the deck and pee over in the little stone around the outside heatpump unit.  Now that the dog runs loose all the time in the yard, he just pees off the deck and his cousin (same age) didn't know that and walked out from under the deck into the stream and said "Hey it's raining"     Couldn't stop laughing for anything, the little feller was quite upset when he found out what really happened!!!!!!


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## NorthernRedneck

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Was over at my sister-in-law's visiting during the holidays this year.  They've got two girls and we've got two boys.  Well, things got kinda quiet which made us wonder what the kids were up to.  I found my youngest son(3) in the bathroom trying to teach my youngest neice(4) how to pee standing up.  Funniest thing I've seen in a while.


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## dzalphakilo

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Ray said:


> My wife thinks this is wrong.
> 
> My dogs pee outside all the time.
> 
> Sometimes we do a group pee on the back oak tree.....
> 
> Its a mans right to pee off the portch aint it?
> 
> I never drip a drop on the portch.....always hit the grass.


 
Drives my wife up the wall when I'm in the house and I go outside to pee.

Once a year I'll also use the push mower on a small section of the lawn, doing it buck butt naked except for wearing a pair of boots just because I can, and it feels good, particularly in the rain


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## techtress

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

thinks like that make me wish I had a penis...I'd pee in the damn parking lot if I had a penis....damned vaginas.


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## Melensdad

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Deadly Sushi said:


> If I peed of my balcony, there would be 60 apartment in view of me. Plus the folks on the ground.... the pool..... the apartments across from the pool.



I say we take a poll to see how many people want Sushi to pee off his balcony


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## OhioTC18 RIP

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



B_Skurka said:


> I say we take a poll to see how many people want Sushi to pee off his balcony



He lives in Chicago. Would anyone notice? They're all inside tonight.


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## Melensdad

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



OhioTC18 said:


> He lives in Chicago. Would anyone notice? They're all inside tonight.


Given the weather outside tonight, I think it would just end up being a yellow icicle down the side of his building.


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## BigAl RIP

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

My question is can he even get it to pee over the balcony ??? What if it is too short ? Maybe use a ladder .... a tall one .


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## jbrumberg

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

I pee anywhere I want on my property (have plenty of woods and no neighbors to laugh at me  ). The only real trouble I have is the complaints from the wife about it is I and not the dog that is burning the grass  . An additional benefit is I can practice target shooting silently  . With all the recent cold 
and windy weather I do have to be careful about frost nip  . Jay

PS: To the female members- with practice I believe that women too can shoot straight so to speak. I had a woman patient in the psychiatric hospital where I worked that used the men's urinals better than most the men (clean shot) and she did not have to shake nor dance afterwards  .  Jay


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## Cowboyjg

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Do you know that Gophers and Ground hogs do not like the scent of human urine. I have found it a great help this past summer. Particularly in the wifes flower bed out front where they were eating her pansies...


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## Trakternut

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

I wonder if I can convince my wife that I should be doing "gopher prevention" in our backyard. My next door neighbor wouldn't mind a bit.


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## NRAfemale

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Cowboyjg said:


> Do you know that Gophers and Ground hogs do not like the scent of human urine. I have found it a great help this past summer. Particularly in the wifes flower bed out front where they were eating her pansies...


 
It would be an easier way to keep the grass from getting too high around the front door and under windows. You can save time on weed eating


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## Cowboyjg

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



NRAfemale said:


> It would be an easier way to keep the grass from getting too high around the front door and under windows. You can save time on weed eating


 
I'm afraid it would be too acidic for the roses (under windows) and I have a wrap around porch so there are no weeds outside the front door...

Thanks for the tip though...


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## rback33

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

A thread about peeing... I should have joined sooner... I pee all over my place too. Best part is.. so does my wife... We can get home, park in the driveway and down come her pants to pee in the grass. All she has to do it walk in the house and the bathroom is right there... it cracks me up... of course our 5 y/o daughter has gotten the same way.. she gets busy outside with the dogs and horses and she pees where ever she is. I OTOH have a different strange compulsion. If I drink beer at your house to any level of intoxication... I WILL relieve myself on one or more of you bushes/trees before I leave. It does not matter how cold it is.  Something about drinkin beer that tells me I need to pee outside. Similarly at home if I am drinkin and watchin TV with the wife I will go out the front door and pee off the porch rather than goin to the bathroom. If I don't pause the DVR I can see the TV still if I want to....


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## Cowboyjg

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

You might be a Redneck if....."if I am drinkin and watchin TV with the wife I will go out the front door and pee off the porch"


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## cowgirl

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

From a womens point of view.  Im jealous!!!!!!!!!  I would pee more outside if it wasn't so darn diffcult and cold.


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## Deerlope

Hey girl get out there and mark your territory, After all that is what the guys are doing.


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## cowgirl

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

its a wee bit harder for women.  i almost got frost bite on my butt last time i went while hunting in november.


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## Bobcat

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Have you read "How to Sh!t in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art "?


http://www.amazon.com/How-Shit-Woods-Environmentally-Approach/dp/0898156270


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## Deadly Sushi

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

I didnt READ it.... I USED it.... in the woods.


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## urednecku

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



bobpierce said:


> Have you read "How to Sh!t in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art "?
> 
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/How-Shit-Woods-Environmentally-Approach/dp/0898156270


 

Nope, never red it. But I _HAVE_ done it many, many times!!


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## Glink

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



bobpierce said:


> Have you read "How to Sh!t in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art "



Yep, picked it up at "Border Bob's" in International Falls Mn. on the way back from a fishing trip to Lake of the Woods. I read it aloud while she was taking one of her turns to drive.  The damn "definition" section had us laughing so hard we about wrecked the truck.  If I recall correctly it is written by a women. 

Pages are just a bit stiff though, and not too absorbent.


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## rback33

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Cowboyjg said:


> You might be a Redneck if....."if I am drinkin and watchin TV with the wife I will go out the front door and pee off the porch"



Naw.. it aint *RED* just a very dark shade of *PINK*


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## Galvatron

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

i asked my wife about this subject and she replied "you can pee off anywhere just don't come back"


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## jpr62902

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

As long as everyone recognizes the distinction between peeing IN a pool and peeing INTO a pool, anywhere else is fair game.


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## rback33

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



jpr62902 said:


> As long as everyone recognizes the distinction between peeing IN a pool and peeing INTO a pool, anywhere else is fair game.



Does it really matter?? I mean.. that's what chlorine is for right?


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## urednecku

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

I think piss is supposed to be sterile, at least in the bladder. Any way, it's mostly water, with a little impurities in it. Then it is diluted in many thousands of gallons of more water. (Yep, chlorine, too! ------"Does it really matter?? I mean.. that's what chlorine is for right?  "  -----) Pretty diluted, don't ya think? Probably as clean as the water you get drinking out of the glass in you're motel room, & some restraunts I've been in!!


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## rback33

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



urednecku said:


> I think piss is supposed to be sterile, at least in the bladder. Any way, it's mostly water, with a little impurities in it. Then it is diluted in many thousands of gallons of more water. (Yep, chlorine, too! ------"Does it really matter?? I mean.. that's what chlorine is for right?  "  -----) Pretty diluted, don't ya think? Probably as clean as the water you get drinking out of the glass in you're motel room, & some restraunts I've been in!!



Sad as it is, u r dead on. Urine is sterile when it comes out and actually safe to drink if u r that desperate.


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## Ironman

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Ray said:


> Its a mans right to pee off the portch aint it?


Yes, yes it is. I pee off the patio all the time. I don't have neighbors so its all good.


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## urednecku

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

*bump*
I bet we can get this one started again.
YEP, me and both my boys pee most any-where in the yard we find the 'need' to.
and now, jpr, we DO have a pool, but they boys are told not to pee *IN or INTO* it!!


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## Trakternut

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Yeah, but being told is a lot different that actually listening, Redneck.


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## urednecku

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Trakternut said:


> Yeah, but being told is a lot different that actually listening, Redneck.


What, ya think my boys don't listen to me?

They listen at least as good as my wife!!


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## EastTexFrank

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

I wondered if this thread would ever make a comeback.  

Before anyone asks, yes I do, anywhere the need stikes me but I don't have any neighbours to worry about.  It drives my wife nuts when I actually leave the house to take a leak.  I tell her that I'm conserving water, about 1.6 gallons a flush, I think.  I also mark along the fence around my vegetable garden.  I'm told it helps deter deer and other critters.  Besides, it's a man's God given right.  

What is it about women and natural bodily functions.  Once when we were out fishing, wy wife (the lady) told me we had to back to shore so she could go to the bathroon.  She wasn't amused when I handed her an empty beer can and told her, "Here, hit this".  She wasn't too happy about my second suggestion either which was to go jump in the lake.  Hell, the fish were biting ... and she wants to leave.  Get your priorities straight woman.


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## pirate_girl

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

hahahahahaha!!!!!!!


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## Cityboy

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



EastTexFrank said:


> It drives my wife nuts when I actually leave the house to take a leak. I tell her that I'm conserving water, about 1.6 gallons a flush, I think.


 
That's what I tell Citygirl but she still thinks I'm a caveman.


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## urednecku

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



EastTexFrank said:


> I wondered if this thread would ever make a comeback.
> 
> Before anyone asks, yes I do, anywhere the need stikes me but I don't have any neighbours to worry about.  It drives my wife nuts when I actually leave the house to take a leak.  I tell her that I'm conserving water, about 1.6 gallons a flush, I think.  I also mark along the fence around my vegetable garden.  I'm told it helps deter deer and other critters.  Besides, it's a man's God given right.
> 
> What is it about women and natural bodily functions.  Once when we were out fishing, wy wife (the lady) told me we had to back to shore so she could go to the bathroon.  She wasn't amused when I handed her an empty beer can and told her, "Here, hit this".  She wasn't too happy about my second suggestion either which was to go jump in the lake.  Hell, the fish were biting ... and she wants to leave.  Get your priorities straight woman.



That's what I'm saying. Just hang it over the side.


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## cowgirl

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



> What is it about women and natural bodily functions. Once when we were out fishing, wy wife (the lady) told me we had to back to shore so she could go to the bathroon. She wasn't amused when I handed her an empty beer can and told her, "Here, hit this". She wasn't too happy about my second suggestion either which was to go jump in the lake. Hell, the fish were biting ... and she wants to leave. Get your priorities straight woman.


and


> That's what I'm saying. Just hang it over the side.


 
This is a womens point of view.  I have no problem peeing in the woods, but its not as easy for women.  First of all we have to almost take our pants completely off (push them down to our ankles).  then when we do pee we have to make sure we don't pee in our pants and make sure the pee does not run into our shoes.  Another thing, there is no shaking it off, and drip drying takes way toooooooo long (doesn't work well either).


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## EastTexFrank

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



cowgirl said:


> and
> 
> 
> This is a womens point of view. I have no problem peeing in the woods, but its not as easy for women. First of all we have to almost take our pants completely off (push them down to our ankles). then when we do pee we have to make sure we don't pee in our pants and make sure the pee does not run into our shoes. Another thing, there is no shaking it off, and drip drying takes way toooooooo long (doesn't work well either).


 
You know, that's what my wife told me.  Since both her knees are messed up she says she can't do it in the woods unless she finds a tree she can hold on to which isn't too difficult in the woods but it's a helluva trick in a boat.


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## Galvatron

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

now i want to know how far you can all pee of the porch....feel a competition coming on here


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## chipstractor

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

I knew I was going to fit in when my 80 year old neighbor told me, "A man's got to be able to take a piss in his own back yard without anyone's permission!"


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## urednecku

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Galvatron said:


> now i want to know how far you can all pee of the porch....feel a competition coming on here



That depends on a lot of things. How high is the porch off the ground, (or roof, or pool, under it), how many beers ya drank with OUT pissing, & how tight ya squeeze the end.


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## Galvatron

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



urednecku said:


> That depends on a lot of things. How high is the porch off the ground, (or roof, or pool, under it), how many beers ya drank with OUT pissing, & how tight ya squeeze the end.



dont forget wind direction and wind speed....pi**ing into the wind can make a right mess


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## rback33

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

I may have posted this in this thread already, but the one time princess took off over the road with me she found that I did NOT stop for anything... not even to pee... that's what milk jugs and gatorade bottles are for... so... she has to pee... first time went perfect... she did ok... second time... road was a lil rougher... she pissed all over my sleeper. She was not in the truck long.


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## EastTexFrank

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



rback33 said:


> I may have posted this in this thread already, but the one time princess took off over the road with me she found that I did NOT stop for anything... not even to pee... that's what milk jugs and gatorade bottles are for... so... she has to pee... first time went perfect... she did ok... second time... road was a lil rougher... she pissed all over my sleeper. She was not in the truck long.


 
Now you're what I call a tough travelling companion.


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## rback33

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



EastTexFrank said:


> Now you're what I call a tough travelling companion.



I mean.. come on... I can pee in the thing from the drivers seat while guiding 80,000# down the road... surely she could hit with free movement in the sleeper....


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## tommy20/69

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

so who has a stronger stream you or the dogs???and do you pee first and let them cover it up with theirs or do you let them go first?when i go walking on the trails by my house with my dogs and take a leak they run right over and all pee on my spot.i have been thinkin of just pissing a little bit and let them come over and cover it up then when they finished i willl piss some more and see who runs out first or see if they start to get mad.lol


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## urednecku

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



tommy20/69 said:


> so who has a stronger stream you or the dogs???and do you pee first and let them cover it up with theirs or do you let them go first?when i go walking on the trails by my house with my dogs and take a leak they run right over and all pee on my spot.i have been thinkin of just pissing a little bit and let them come over and cover it up then when they finished i willl piss some more and see who runs out first or see if they start to get mad.lol


 
About 8 or 10 years ago I lived in town, & had a black lab. On one of our walks I decided to count the times he stopped to pee. If I remember right, he went about 12 times, and kept trying another 5, in the first two blocks.


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## lilnixon

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Peeing off the Porch is a God given right to all men that own porches.
just ask Nixon.


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## Erik

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



rback33 said:


> I mean.. come on... I can pee in the thing from the drivers seat while guiding 80,000# down the road... surely she could hit with free movement in the sleeper....


 
I think it's more training on her part - after that you stopped when she needed to go, right?  so it worked - you're easy to train.


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## urednecku

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



lilnixon said:


> Peeing off the Porch is a God given right to all men that own porches.
> just ask Nixon.


Now here's a woman that knows about men's rights.


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## nixon

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



urednecku said:


> Now here's a woman that knows about men's rights.


Yep ,and We have two porches . You know ... Just in case of company .


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## sonicangel

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

*I use to love to pee in the snow when I lived up north!!*


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## Big Dog

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



tommy20/69 said:


> so who has a stronger stream you or the dogs???and do you pee first and let them cover it up with theirs or do you let them go first?when i go walking on the trails by my house with my dogs and take a leak they run right over and all pee on my spot.i have been thinkin of just pissing a little bit and let them come over and cover it up then when they finished i willl piss some more and see who runs out first or see if they start to get mad.lol


 
Damn dog won't go until I go first, his bad cause the porch is elevated and he gets it on the head all the time in his haste to cover!


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## Troy

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

I remember this thread, thought it'd be long gone by now!

I just peed out of my second story window.


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## tommy20/69

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

i was out in the front yard the other night and said what the hell let me take a leak . so i waited very still and the lights went out i then whiped it out and started to piss at that time i remmebered what i was originaly out in the front yard at midnight doing. i was walking my 5 chihuahas and when they came running they set off the motion sensors on all 6 of my 100 watt flood lights "SAY CHEESE"  good thing everyone is sleepin at that time.


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## lilnixon

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Troy said:


> I remember this thread, thought it'd be long gone by now!
> 
> I just peed out of my second story window.



PLEASE DON'T give Nixon any ideas..


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## Rusty Shackleford

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

ahhhh.... the rural relief....


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## Troy

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



lilnixon said:


> PLEASE DON'T give Nixon any ideas..


 
I apologize!

Forget I said anything Nixon!


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## nixon

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Troy said:


> I apologize!
> 
> Forget I said anything Nixon!



Too late .But next time I'll take the screens off .


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## rback33

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Troy said:


> I remember this thread, thought it'd be long gone by now!
> 
> I just peed out of my second story window.





nixon said:


> Too late .But next time I'll take the screens off .




No comment....


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## cj7

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



techtress said:


> thinks like that make me wish I had a penis...I'd pee in the damn parking lot if I had a penis....damned vaginas.


 

thats funny there.... don't care who you are!!


I look at peeing outside or off the porch as saving the flush at the toilet. Doing my part to use water wisely.

Although I do not subscribe to the ' if its yellow let it mellow ' approach. No need to give the next person dirty water.


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## CityGirl

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Even the little head needs some fresh air every now and then.


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## pirate_girl

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



nixon said:


> Too late .But next time I'll take the screens off .







CityGirl said:


> Even the little head needs some fresh air every now and then.



bwahahaha!!!


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## jpr62902

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

And for the ladies .....

http://www.go-girl.com/


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## muleman RIP

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

I gotta get one of them go-girls for the wife. I'll even get her a milk jug of her own for those long trips. And yes I use both porches when I want to.


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## RecycleLover

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

this seems to be sadly a quite popular forum post.


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## Rusty Shackleford

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

...


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## duflochy

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

I just seem to dribble on my feet now days......(sigh)


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## Trakternut

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Take  half a Viagra!


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## duflochy

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

half a viagra and a bunch of candy........makes your heart race but u aint going anywhere......


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## kitty

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

we live in town and i have 3yr old boy his dad told him he could pee outside once so now he of course does it all the time!and u know he has to pee outside when everyone seems to be outside and can see him!(his dad thought it was funny)but i caught him a few days ago and he peed on my car


----------



## Trakternut

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

You can cure that, Kitty.  Go to a TSC or some such store, buy yourself an electric fence charger. Hook the "Hot" wire to the car, drive a large metal stake into the ground and attach the "neg" side and sit back for the show!
I garantee ya he'll never p*ss on your car again! 

Works on dogs!


----------



## pirate_girl

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

After 88 posts and over 3,000 views, it's spelled PORCH dammit!!
Sorry, just had me a Gatorboy moment..


----------



## muleman RIP

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

nitpicker! or are you just jealous cause guys can and you can't?


----------



## Trakternut

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

Wouldn't be a bit surprised if she has.


----------



## Ray

*Re: I pee off my back portch*

After 88 posts and over 3,000 views, it's spelled PORCH dammit!!
Sorry, just had me a Gatorboy moment..

Ummmm sorry........I wasnt using my fingers to type!


----------



## Gatorboy

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Ray said:


> After 88 posts and over 3,000 views, it's spelled PORCH dammit!!
> Sorry, just had me a Gatorboy moment..



 Woo hoo!   I wanted to mention this since the thread started, but I knew eventually someone would do it for me.


----------



## Ray

*Re: I pee off my back portch*


----------



## Spiffy1

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



muleman said:


> nitpicker! or are you just jealous cause guys can and you can't?


 
Why not?!  http://www.go-girl.com/


----------



## pirate_girl

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Gatorboy said:


> Woo hoo!   I wanted to mention this since the thread started, but I knew eventually someone would do it for me.


Thanks Dave, and it wasn't Ray would said that, it was me, so Ray, what are you getting all excited about?? LOL!!


----------



## Deerlope

Some place in South America the gov is asking people to pee in the shower. They need to save water by not flushing the toilet and using 1.5 -5 gals of water with flush.


----------



## Troy

Deerlope said:


> Some place in South America the gov is asking people to pee in the shower. They need to save water by not flushing the toilet and using 1.5 -5 gals of water with flush.


 
Oh yeah! What if you have to take a #2 ? LOL


----------



## Doc

Troy said:


> Oh yeah! What if you have to take a #2 ? LOL


Gross for sure but I suppose it would wash down the drain eventually.   

Any volunteers to try and report back.  LOL    PLEASE, No pictures !!!!!!


----------



## Troy

Doc said:


> Gross for sure but I suppose it would wash down the drain eventually.
> 
> Any volunteers to try and report back. LOL  PLEASE, No pictures !!!!!!


 
Eventually? not if it's one of those long monster turds LOL. Have to chop that sucker up.

Thanks Doc, Now have this mental image


----------



## Reno

You guys won't believe this, but I actually pee in (or around) the toilet.  I know, I know, I'm weird.


----------



## mak2

Really?


----------



## Treefriend

Ray said:


> *I pee off my back porch*.



So do I and boy are my downstairs neighbors mad.


----------



## Ironman

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Troy said:


> Today I decided to pee off the top of my house.


Extreme peeing?


Just be careful up there buddy.


----------



## tsaw

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



Ironman said:


> Extreme peeing?
> 
> 
> Just be careful up there buddy.



WTF? How'a about extreme digging


----------



## Ironman

*Re: I pee off my back portch*



tsaw said:


> WTF? How'a about extreme digging


I felt it was my turn to resurrect this thread. You know, get some thought-provoking topics back up to the top. Maybe it will trigger a few lurkers to join up.


----------



## tsaw

Good idea. I pee out in the back yard when the bathroom is busy.


----------



## Big Dog

Proof ...................


----------



## rback33

My streak basically lives.. I drink.. I pee outside... even now that I live in town I pee off my back porch.... just one of those things... at the gf's I usually pee in the weeds out back while the dog is going too...


----------



## Big Dog

rback33 said:


> My streak basically lives.. I drink.. I pee outside... even now that I live in town I pee off my back porch.... just one of those things... at the gf's I usually pee in the weeds out back while the dog is going too...



The grass is never gonna grow where I stand above because Beaux always follows up with a cover ...........


----------



## fubar

When my buddies used to come over on the week ends we used to just pee in the snow out back of my shop, pop open the back door, write our names in the snow and pop back in, lot eaiser than to make our way into the house, pry off my boots, etc etc.

Then the wife kinda got on me, said she could tell who dunn it because of the names in the snow, but she wasn't sure that the names matched the handwriting!!!

We now meet over at Pauls on the week ends...he's single.


----------



## Ironman

rback33 said:


> My streak basically lives.. I drink.. I pee outside... even now that I live in town I pee off my back porch.... just one of those things... at the gf's I usually pee in the weeds out back while the dog is going too...


I don't think I would ever make it as a city-folk. I love pissin outside.


----------



## tsaw

The best part is peeing in the snow. Try and reach the ground - then enlarge the hole.


----------



## squerly

uh, okay...


----------



## muleman RIP

squerly said:


> uh, okay...


You have to understand that they are a little "challenged" in Wisconsin in the winter. They don't have much to occupy themselves up there!


----------



## squerly

muleman said:


> You have to understand that they are a little "challenged" in Wisconsin in the winter. They don't have much to occupy themselves up there!


Wisconsin?  Oh, well that explains it...


----------



## Big Dog

Not much change, seems to be filling in a little better round the edges .......


----------



## pirate_girl

you seem to be drippin' on the edge there Big Guy.. don't you ummm shake it after? lol
Or perhaps that's spit.. what is it with you guys spitting during or after you take a leak?
hmmmm.. one of the things we wimmen don't get..


----------



## muleman RIP

Heck, I thought the wind had died down enough to go off the porch this morning. Big gust came up and I showered the old tom cat and he ran off. He always waits on that side of me in the morning till I am done and then goes along to the barn.


----------



## Big Dog

pirate_girl said:


> you seem to be drippin' on the edge there Big Guy.. don't you ummm shake it after? lol
> Or perhaps that's spit.. what is it with you guys spitting during or after you take a leak?
> hmmmm.. one of the things we wimmen don't get..



Don't you be worrying about nuttin, I'll handle it!


----------



## pirate_girl

Big Dog said:


> Don't you be worrying about nuttin, *I'll handle it!*


----------



## Ray

lol


----------



## Ray

NEVER EVEr did I think this would get the amount of views it did!


----------



## EastTexFrank

Ray said:


> NEVER EVEr did I think this would get the amount of views it did!



It's good subject matter that counts.

Glad to see you still pop in now and again.


----------



## Melensdad

EastTexFrank said:


> It's good subject matter that counts.
> 
> Glad to see you still pop in now and again.



I thinik it is also seasonally topical.

Not many folks up north will be going outside to pee in the winter.  But in the summer when you let the dogs out you can just go with them


----------



## Pretty Flamingo

Five and a half years about a peeing of the back porch 'problem.'


----------



## Galvatron

Pretty Flamingo said:


> Five and a half years about a peeing of the back porch 'problem.'



so many directions and angles to cover....distance is a important factor.


----------



## muleman RIP

Galvatron said:


> so many directions and angles to cover....distance is a important factor.


Oh, go piss off!


----------



## Pretty Flamingo

It ruins the grass.
At a guess.


----------



## Galvatron

muleman said:


> Oh, go piss off!



I did and sunk your battleshit


----------



## Ironman

*peeing free*

A wee bit chilly, not to windy but a wondedrful night to pee off the back porch. I see fireworks when i'm peeing tonight cuz I am way up on a hill in the boonies, had a few wild turkey honeys and cokes.  

I'll try to get a pic soon.


----------



## Ironman

*Infidel*

Beautiful night to do some peeing off the back porch. It sure feels good, especially when looking at the neighbors house and waving when takin a leek. This is how I see it:










squerly said:


> Wisconsin?  Oh, well that explains it...



Oh, you think so, punk?

 You one of those girls that think your too good to piss off the back porch, girlfriend? 

Look at this. You don't piss off this porch? How much you pay for this? Feckin weirdo... if I wasn't stalking you, I would be pissing off this daily. I still might.


----------



## Doc

Hey what's it mean if you pee off the back porch and it appears the grass is dying where you are peeing?    I thought we normally fertalized the grass and it would get thicker and greener.  what's it mean?


----------



## EastTexFrank

Doc said:


> Hey what's it mean if you pee off the back porch and it appears the grass is dying where you are peeing?    I thought we normally fertalized the grass and it would get thicker and greener.  what's it mean?



It means that you need some blood work done.  

It's liquid fertilizer and good for the grass.  My problem is that I have a 4-acre yard and I can't possibly cover it all even with the help of the dogs.  Even I am not a big enough bullshitter to try and convince anyone that I have the pressure and the range to get close to the front gate (150 yards approx) from the porch.  Well, if like Ghostbusters, I could bend the stream around the trees .....


----------



## Ironman

Almost took a leak off my porch today but it's covered in snow. If I grill out next Sunday for the Packer game you can bet I'll be pissing off my porch for that.


----------



## Melensdad

Cold snap here too.  Even the dogs don't like peeing outside.


----------



## Leni

EastTexFrank said:


> It means that you need some blood work done.
> 
> It's liquid fertilizer and good for the grass.  My problem is that I have a 4-acre yard and I can't possibly cover it all even with the help of the dogs.  Even I am not a big enough bullshitter to try and convince anyone that I have the pressure and the range to get close to the front gate (150 yards approx) from the porch.  Well, if like Ghostbusters, I could bend the stream around the trees .....



It means that you're doing it in the same place too often.  Too much nitrogen will burn the grass.  Now I do have some weeds that I wouldn't mind if they got burned.


----------



## Ironman

It was a warm night out on the patio and I couldn't resist after a few adult beverages. Hell yeah.


----------



## squerly

*Re: Infidel*



Ironman said:


> How much you pay for this?


About 600K but I got a free house with it.   








[/QUOTE]



Ironman said:


> You don't piss off this porch?


Yes, of course I do.   But smart-ass's from Wisconsin have to piss off my other deck.  It's located directly under this one...


----------



## EastTexFrank

I haven't done it for a while.  Too darned wet.  Summer is here with a vengeance now though so things are back to normal.  

Seven and half years and we're still at it!!!!!


----------



## Ironman

Another beautiful night to water the weeds below. Ahhhhhh.......


----------



## deand1

I am teaching my new puppy the proper places to pee, outside.  She watches me then follows suit.  We both are relieved in the end.


----------



## Melensdad

deand1 said:


> I am teaching my new puppy the proper places to pee, outside.  She watches me then follows suit.  We both are relieved in the end.



I never tried that technique but it sounds like a good one.

I presume if you have a female pup you send your wife out to pee in the yard


----------



## Catavenger

A company I once worked for needed extra room so they rented a crappy warehouse down by the railroad tracks. This was miles from the main plant and had no restroom. Our company made arrangements with a business (that was closed on the weekends) for us to use their restroom. 
When the warehouse needed extra labor the company liked to send the guys that were good workers but "troublemakers" like me (who protested their strong arm overtime practices) there. 
Basically just to punish and get rid of us.
 One  overtime weekend I was sent down to work there with an older guy who had been there awhile. 
There was an old loading dock, no longer used, that was right by the the tracks. (Apparently at onetime the freight trains had offloaded there.)
The guy I was working with said that he just peed off the loading dock and that he had to take a pee. He said that if I needed to take one he was going to open the door to pee.
So there we are peeing off the dock and a freight train comes by. He waves to the conductor who just grins and waves back. So I just started waving myself. 
The son of a gun knew when the train was going by and set me up as a joke.
 Being young I really didn't give a damn and thought it was funny as well.


----------



## Ironman




----------



## Loudmouth

Ray said:


> My wife thinks this is wrong.
> 
> My dogs pee outside all the time.
> 
> Sometimes we do a group pee on the back oak tree.....
> 
> Its a mans right to pee off the portch aint it?
> 
> I never drip a drop on the portch.....always hit the grass.




I commend you Sir.  Not only are you saving water - a valuble resource, but yer airin out the plumbing...an we all needs to air out our plumbing!


----------



## EastTexFrank

Loudmouth said:


> I commend you Sir.  Not only are you saving water - a valuble resource, but yer airin out the plumbing...an we all needs to air out our plumbing!



Yes we do!!!!!

My wife actually caught me leaving the house, going outside to take a whizz.  She couldn't understand how we had 4 bathrooms and I was still going outside.  My excuse was, "Saving water".  

Like deand1, that's how I taught my dogs where it was acceptable for them to go potty.  They would watch me and after I had finished, they marked in the exact same spot.  I did have a problem with one puppy who thought that the master bathroom was her "dumping" spot too.    Dogs can sometimes be too clever for their own good!!!


----------



## Ironman

Another beautiful night for outdoor urination via the back patio. I think the neighbors saw me this time tho...  probably because they waved back at me.


----------



## FrancSevin

Ironman said:


> Another beautiful night for outdoor urination via the back patio. I think the neighbors saw me this time tho...  probably because they waved back at me.


 
 Mine just point and laugh


----------



## Melensdad

EastTexFrank said:


> Y... Like deand1, that's how I taught my dogs where it was acceptable for them to go potty.  They would watch me and after I had finished, they marked in the exact same spot.  I did have a problem with one puppy who thought that the master bathroom was her "dumping" spot too.    Dogs can sometimes be too clever for their own good!!!



I've never been caught.

Therefore I never do it.  

But the new puppy had to learn somehow!  He was a hard dog to potty train.  Finally worked out.

One of the dogs got sick and pooped in my shower.  I never taught her that.


----------



## greatdiscovery

Ain't nothin' wrong with peeing off your porch.


----------



## Melensdad

greatdiscovery said:


> Ain't nothin' wrong with peeing off your porch.


Yup

I taught the dogs to pee in the yard by peeing off my back porch


----------



## EastTexFrank

Melensdad said:


> Yup
> 
> I taught the dogs to pee in the yard by peeing off my back porch



That's how I taught our Gypsy to go on the grass.  

This thread was started about 5 years ago and I want you all to know that I still do it on occasions.  I don't seem to have quite the range that I used to though.


----------



## bczoom




----------



## Doc




----------



## Doc

LOL   a couple years behind ya BC.   Just ran into this meme and thought of this thread.


----------



## Gary O'

I used to mark my territory when living up at the cabin

Seemed to *attract* bear


----------



## NorthernRedneck

Doc said:


> LOL   a couple years behind ya BC.   Just ran into this meme and thought of this thread.



I think of this thread every time I whip it out and let the waters flow off my back deck.


----------



## FrancSevin

Well, since this thread has rekindled, and I now have one,,,;

I CAN NOW PEE OFF MY FRONT PORCH TOO.


----------



## bczoom

FrancSevin said:


> I CAN NOW PEE OFF MY FRONT PORCH TOO.


Why starting now?  I don't recall you saying you've moved or something.


----------



## FrancSevin

bczoom said:


> Why starting now?  I don't recall you saying you've moved or something.


I didn't have a front porch until now.


Before and .....





After!


----------



## Melensdad

FrancSevin said:


> Well, since this thread has rekindled, and I now have one,,,;
> 
> I CAN NOW PEE OFF MY FRONT PORCH TOO.


I have peed off all my porches.  East, West, North and South, plus my pool patio and the garage/workshop porch too.


----------



## bczoom

I am a man!  The world is my urinal.


----------



## NorthernRedneck

Melensdad said:


> I have peed off all my porches.  East, West, North and South, plus my pool patio and the garage/workshop porch too.



You didn't pee in the pool again? Did you?


----------



## bczoom




----------



## NorthernRedneck

I showed my wife the same picture yesterday saying that I was going to install one in the garage.


----------



## Melensdad

NorthernRedneck said:


> You didn't pee in the pool again? Did you?


Only the hot tub


----------



## Ross 650

Howdy,
I pee off the porch every day.  If it is cold I stand out in the sunshine and pee back on the porch.  My plumbing works both ways.


----------



## tommu56

I regularly drain the radiator here off the porch but have to watch for the game cams .

Camp Ruffinit II rebuild in 2016 after first cabin  burnt down its 36x36 plus a 12x 36 porch bunk space up stairs is 18x 36


----------



## NorthernRedneck

bczoom said:


> View attachment 157142



  I actually found it for sale. I may be building an outhouse down by the shop next summer for when we have friends over for a fire. I may splurge and pick one of these up.


----------



## Gary O'

tommu56 said:


> Camp Ruffinit II rebuild in 2016 after first cabin burnt down its 36x36 plus a 12x 36 porch bunk space up stairs is 18x 36


Uh, that's not a cabin
It's more mansiony

Compared to my cabin






And, yes, that's a porch

Therefore I pee


----------



## tommu56

Gary O' said:


> Uh, that's not a cabin
> It's more mansiony
> 
> Compared to my cabin
> 
> View attachment 157146
> 
> 
> And, yes, that's a porch
> 
> Therefore I pee


yea ill look for picture of the old cabin it was 20x36 with a 10x 12 ft porch with a sleeping loft area above but that was before digital pictures


----------



## NorthernRedneck

Gary O' said:


> Uh, that's not a cabin
> It's more mansiony
> 
> Compared to my cabin
> 
> View attachment 157146
> 
> 
> And, yes, that's a porch
> 
> Therefore I pee



Here's the old log cabin that I go to with the scouts a few times a year. There's no back porch but I have been known to piss off the front porch around 3am most nights.


----------



## tommu56

Gary O' said:


> Uh, that's not a cabin
> It's more mansiony
> 
> Compared to my cabin
> 
> View attachment 157146
> 
> 
> And, yes, that's a porch
> 
> Therefore I pee


by the way happy wife happy life she got most of the things she wanted on the build like a 1 st floor bed room close to the bathroom


----------



## Melensdad

NorthernRedneck said:


> I actually found it for sale. I may be building an outhouse down by the shop next summer for when we have friends over for a fire. I may splurge and pick one of these up.


Can’t you just pee for free?  Does spending $89 make it civilized?


----------



## NorthernRedneck

Melensdad said:


> Can’t you just pee for free?  Does spending $89 make it civilized?



Oh I have no problem peeing outside. She who must be obeyed doesn't care too much for the yellow snowbanks though.


----------



## tommu56

Melensdad said:


> Can’t you just pee for free?  Does spending $89 make it civilized?


I'm sure a  kid with a 3D printer would make one for $50.0

plus it keeps it off your shoes


----------



## Melensdad

tommu56 said:


> …
> plus it keeps it off your shoes


I just pee downhill.  Shoes don’t set splattered.  Then again, I live on a ridge, so pretty much all downhill.


----------



## XeVfTEUtaAqJHTqq

I peed all over my yard this week.  Had an old splice in my well power line fail and it took me way to long to find it.  Even my wife was peeing outside.


----------



## EastTexFrank

XeVfTEUtaAqJHTqq said:


> I peed all over my yard this week.  Had an old splice in my well power line fail and it took me way to long to find it.  Even my wife was peeing outside.



That's a special kind of woman.  

The last time my wife helped me with a project over at the farm she informed me that she had to go to the bathroom and would I drive her back to the house.  My "Grab a tree and squat" answer didn't go down very well.


----------



## m1west

NorthernRedneck said:


> Oh I have no problem peeing outside. She who must be obeyed doesn't care too much for the yellow snowbanks though.


I gave mine an Indian name " mouth that never stops"


----------



## NorthernRedneck

m1west said:


> I gave mine an Indian name " mouth that never stops"





I'll tell her you said that.


----------



## TRUMP FOREVER

Ray said:


> My wife thinks this is wrong.
> 
> My dogs pee outside all the time.
> 
> Sometimes we do a group pee on the back oak tree.....
> 
> Its a mans right to pee off the portch aint it?
> 
> I never drip a drop on the portch.....always hit the grass.


As long as I pee where humans are not likely to walk n slip or stop n sit in my pee, and as long as no one can see my schlong, I feel I have met two of polite society's most basic responsibilities.


----------



## TRUMP FOREVER

The O.P. brings this classic blues tune to mind.

Lou Rawls - I'd Rather Drink Muddy Water​




​"I'd rather drink muddy water and "_pee off my back porch.

_


----------



## TRUMP FOREVER

rback33 said:


> *Re: I pee off my back portch*
> 
> A thread about peeing... I should have joined sooner... I pee all over my place too. Best part is.. so does my wife... We can get home, park in the driveway and down come her pants to pee in the grass. All she has to do it walk in the house and the bathroom is right there... it cracks me up... of course our 5 y/o daughter has gotten the same way.. she gets busy outside with the dogs and horses and she pees where ever she is. I OTOH have a different strange compulsion. If I drink beer at your house to any level of intoxication... I WILL relieve myself on one or more of you bushes/trees before I leave. It does not matter how cold it is.  Something about drinkin beer that tells me I need to pee outside. Similarly at home if I am drinkin and watchin TV with the wife I will go out the front door and pee off the porch rather than goin to the bathroom. If I don't pause the DVR I can see the TV still if I want to....


I love reading your colorfully amusing urination rituals and would defend your right to continue those quaint habits as long as they work for you and yours.

But, I would not expect you would do this in the city.


----------



## Melensdad

TRUMP FOREVER said:


> But, I would not expect you would do this in the city.


Demographics pretty much show that city folks are Democrats.  They might get wild and pee in a bidet


----------



## Doc

My wife has no problem squatting when needed.   When her sister was out jeeping with us and had to go we suggested the squatting, she was appalled.   No way.   The bumpy 20 min ride to the facilities had to be painful for her.   LOL


----------



## tommu56

We were stuck in traffic on RT 80 between 2 tractor trailers, trailers with our box trailer on our truck my said she had to go got out dropped here pants and hung over the trailer Tung


----------



## m1west

NorthernRedneck said:


> I'll tell her you said that.


Good luck she would never even hear you.


----------

