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You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....

Doc

Doc

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You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
 
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
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Might have to remove that one, that seems to hold true for everyone's vehicles now.:hide:
 
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
 

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You might be a redneck if you use duct tape to hold the license plate on your tailer because you were dumb enough to knock it off in the first place :whistle:
 

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B_Skurka said:
You might be a redneck if you use duct tape to hold the license plate on your tailer because you were dumb enough to knock it off in the first place :whistle:
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Oh hell yeah! I'm safe! I used zip ties to hold on the plate on the horse trailer (lost the nuts in the grass when changing the plates). :yum:
 
Dave, I honestly grabbed some zip ties and then sat in the grass to put the plate back on but there were no holes in the trailer to run the zip ties through! Hence, I resorted to duct tape. BTW, do rednecks wear Hawaiian shirts?
 
Jeez Bob, its common practice around here to make number plates from cereal packets and marker pens.
Last night we made a number plate using insulating tape on the tailgate to make the numbers and letters......
 
pixie said:
Does shooting a squirrel in my bathroom make me a redneck ??? :D
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Killing your dinner anyplace inside the house other than the kitchen makes you a redneck :thumb:
 
B_Skurka said:
Killing your dinner anyplace inside the house other than the kitchen makes you a redneck :thumb:
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Killing your dinner inside the kitchen? Are we talking about lobster or varments? Or could that be stray pets?
Bonehead
 
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