You're A Redneck When..............

[Bamby]

'You know you're a redneck when.......

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

4. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.

7. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

8. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

9. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

10. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

 

[Erik]

you spend X-mas eve on the roof with a 12 gauge and a deer tag...

 

[Bamby]

12. Your bathroom door is a shower curtain.

 

[Erik]

there are more dead cars in your yard than live people in the house.

 

[Trakternut]

You have to move the refrigerator, now and then, so the grass does't die out.

 

[Erik]

your bait (and beer) fridge is bigger and in better shape than your food fridge.

 

[Trakternut]

Your richest relative gets a new house....and you go help take the wheels off!

 

[nixon]

Your Daddy married Your Sister ,but You're Okay .

 

[pirate_girl]

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.

Your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin'.

You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You think genitalia is an Italian airline.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

You keep empty beer cans in your fridge for your friends that don't drink.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.

You buy your jewelry at the hardware store.

 

[pirate_girl]

You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.

You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.

LMAO!!!!

 

[pirate_girl]

Your wife puts candles on a pan of corn bread for your birthday.

You proposed while watching a football game out of the corner of your eye.

You remember the entire NASCAR schedule, but can't remember your wife's birthday.

Your brother-in-law played the Wedding March on a kazoo.

 

[nixon]

Your Wife thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project.
You've been married three times ,and still have the same in laws

 

[nixon]

Your house still has a "wide load" sign on it .
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline .

 

[lilnixon]

You look forward to the Family Reunion so you can meet new girls to date.

 

[Bamby]

How about a few about the serious side of Redneck.
If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends. Ya'll know who you all are.

You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase,'One Nation Under God'

You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a redneck if: You still say ' Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'

You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.

You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.

You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.

You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.

You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

 

[Trakternut]

Redneck, here!

 

[Tractors4u]

For your house number you shove beer cans through your chainlink fence.

I saw this and had to come back by with a camera.