• Please be sure to read the rules and adhere to them. Some banned members have complained that they are not spammers. But they spammed us. Some even tried to redirect our members to other forums. Duh. Be smart. Read the rules and adhere to them and we will all get along just fine. Cheers. :beer: Link to the rules: https://www.forumsforums.com/threads/forum-rules-info.2974/

You know you're a nurse if..........

pirate_girl

legendary ⚓
FF Patron
You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.

You believe not all patients are annoying ... some are unconscious.

Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.

You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.

Almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually.

When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your shoes.

Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.

You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can.

You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if someone is trying to call to ask you to work.

You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.

You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse.

Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.

You don't get excited about blood loss ... unless it's your own.

You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."

Eating microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.

When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer.

You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines.

You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

You've sworn you're going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.
 
Good ones,PG !!! I printed them off for our daughter when she returns to nursing school the 3rd of Jan.
Mike
 
You don't get excited about blood loss ... unless it's your own.

How true,
 
I went to the clinic to have my yearly blood draw.
I got a brand new nurse. I knew it because she had a baby sitter watching over her shoulder.
I did not want to tease her as she might of ran out of the place, so I kept it business only.
After she drew the blood, she put a cotton ball over the hole. She then put that blue stretchy thing around my arm. That elastic thing came loose and flew clear across the room. I laughed my butt off and so did her baby sitter.
I got a pretty good leg shot when she crawled under a desk to pick it up. The poor gal turned beet red, she must of realized the shot of leg she gave me..

:shock:
 
I like this one ......
You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine. :mrgreen:
BTW....what's that in your nurse avatar's mouth? Braces?
 
Last edited:
you have the bladder capacity of five people

you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase, "wow, it is really quiet" is uttered

you have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience

you think that caffeine should be available in IV form.

your feet are flatter and tougher than Fred Flintstone's

your family members must have a fever of at least 105 or be missing a limb with active bleeding in order to receive your sympathy.

You believe that all the patient needs is some vitamin A (ativan)

You ever felt like a Proctologist because you work with assholes

You believe the best way to give someone a nice warm feeling deep down inside is by using warm water in the enema bag.

You have seen more moons than the Hubble telescope.


To you the phrase "divide and conquer" means getting two co-workers to help you change the bedsore dressing in the crack of a 400 pound patient.

You have seen more penises than any prostitute.
 
All nurses do an outstanding job.
I still love to tease them..
To spread it around, waitresses too.
Both can pull the rug out from under you anytime they want.

:shock:
 
Top