Myst
New member
WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY...
LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL
WAKING UP THAT MORNING. I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR
BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE PLEASANT AND SAY,
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR ME.
AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET
ALONE "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."
I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE
KIDS WILL REMEMBER. MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND
DIDN'T SAY A WORD.
SO WHEN I LEFT FOR THE OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY
LOW AND SOMEWHAT DESPONDENT.
AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID,
"GOOD MORNING, BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" IT FELT A LITTLE
BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE HAD REMEMBERED. I WORKED
UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND
SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE,
AND IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH, JUST
YOU AND ME."
I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE
HEARD ALL DAY.
LET'S GO!" WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE
NORMALLY WOULD GO.
WE DINED INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE
TABLE. WE HAD TWO MARTINIS EACH AND I ENJOYED THE MEAL
TREMENDOUSLY
ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW,
IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK
TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?"
I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"
SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."
AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND
SAID, "BOSS, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO
THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."
"OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.
SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF
MINUTES, SHE CAME OUT CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE...
FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND DOZENS OF MY FRIENDS
AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".
AND I JUST SAT THERE...
ON THE COUCH...
NAKED.
LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL
WAKING UP THAT MORNING. I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR
BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE PLEASANT AND SAY,
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR ME.
AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET
ALONE "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."
I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE
KIDS WILL REMEMBER. MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND
DIDN'T SAY A WORD.
SO WHEN I LEFT FOR THE OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY
LOW AND SOMEWHAT DESPONDENT.
AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID,
"GOOD MORNING, BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" IT FELT A LITTLE
BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE HAD REMEMBERED. I WORKED
UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND
SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE,
AND IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH, JUST
YOU AND ME."
I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE
HEARD ALL DAY.
LET'S GO!" WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE
NORMALLY WOULD GO.
WE DINED INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE
TABLE. WE HAD TWO MARTINIS EACH AND I ENJOYED THE MEAL
TREMENDOUSLY
ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW,
IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK
TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?"
I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"
SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."
AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND
SAID, "BOSS, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO
THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."
"OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.
SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF
MINUTES, SHE CAME OUT CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE...
FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND DOZENS OF MY FRIENDS
AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".
AND I JUST SAT THERE...
ON THE COUCH...
NAKED.
