Ugh.............

[Angelface]

So I got my promotion and I trained last week, and this week I am all on my own and already in the last three days I have worked like 36 hours or something. For the most part I actually kinda like my job. I have never had so much responsibility before and it will look amazing on my resume. However, I feel like I have no chance to actually take in what I need to. I know part of it is dealing with other employees, but I am constantly nagged from even my supervisors and employees at the same time. My training was way to basic and quick. Like he wanted to just get it over with and not tell me all the little things that I am having to learn on my own because it was his last week. Also over the last three days, I have been stuck trying to fix all the messes that he left behind for me to figure out, so I am getting pressured to fix all those with little knowledge... Like 75% I have had to figure out on my own without any training at all.

In the last three days I have been expected to be perfect at this and I feel so pressured and overwhelmed that when I get home my poor husband is dealing with the kids and dinner and I just go to bed and start it all over again.

I feel like once I get in the theme of things, it will settle down and I can feel more comfortable. But in the mean time... %#$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it the weekend yet???????

 

[Kane]

Ahh, the pressures of management.

 

[squerly]

LOL, you're learning what the minimum wage folks have never considered.

 

[bczoom]

Is it the weekend yet???????

NO! You're new in your position. You now have 5 Mondays each week followed by 2 days of home chores.

I haven't seen all your posts but do I assume correctly you're in middle management?

If so, you'll be OK learning your job as you go. IMHO, the more or most important thing of your new position is knowing the jobs of the people that work for you. You're now their first problem solver. If they have an issue and come to you for the answer and you don't know it, you can't be effective.

 

[EastTexFrank]

Don't worry Angelface, a new position always seems overwhelming for a start. As you become more familiar with the job and its requirements it'll start to get easier and easier.

Another thing, nobody expects you to be perfect right off the bat so don't create pressure on yourself because you feel that you're falling short in some way ... you're not. Just remember the mess that the former occupant of the job left ... and he was familiar with it.

Another temptation is to work longer and longer hours as you strive to reach what you think is perfection. Don't do it. Learn to work smarter, not harder and learn to delegate. Make others earn their salary.

 

[waybomb]

You'll know when you are on vacation. For now, it's work.
All Supervisors and Managers do all day is just sit around and try to figure out how to wreck an hourly person's day anyhow, right?

 

[Angelface]

Oh these posts are like a breath of fresh air. I guess im just not used to being in such a position let alone of having a salary and amazing benefits. It's true what you are saying about being hard on myself. It's like I am putting more pressure on myself than the actual job. What's really weird is how different you are treated from people both above and below, so yes middle management. It's also weird having employees nervous talking to me. One thing I hate is now all the sudden I'm valued and in some ways more respected. Everyone below me is treated like perishables. I have always felt that everyone should be treated the same regardless of a title or income. But that isn't the world we live in.....

 

[bczoom]

One thing I hate is now all the sudden I'm valued and in some ways more respected.

By those above or below you?

Everyone below me is treated like perishables. I have always felt that everyone should be treated the same regardless of a title or income. But that isn't the world we live in.....

Are you treating your employees as perishable? You are in a position to treat them as you see fit and hopefully in a positive light.

 

[OhioTC18]

If you treat employees like they make a difference, they will.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

Not sure exactly what your job is now, but I can tell you that in my field there were several teams that each had a manager. Each manager was viewed in a different light based on how they managed their team. The best ones I found were the ones that didn't look down on the employees. Basically, go in looking at yourself as the leader of a team and that each team needs a captain and that is your job to gather your troops and lead them into battle.

I had a manager once that told us point blank that she didn't see herself as part of our team. That blew any respect we had for her and from that day forward we didn't go to her for anything. Our team even gathered together and met with her superiors to voice our concerns. From that point forward we didn't ever feel united as a team and that is the key to success. All the best to you!

 

[waybomb]

Servant Leadership is where it's at.

 

[EastTexFrank]

About a thousand years ago, when I actually worked for a living, we had to take two job related courses a year. One year I took a one week course called, "Communication". Basically, it was a course on negotiating techniques and how to handle and motivate employees. I know that it sounds pretty dry but it was actually interesting if you are a student of people and it is something that I've carried with me the rest of my life.

One of the things that you were taught was that when dealing with employees and contractors, "ALWAYS be friendly but never their friend".

The second thing was that it takes different things to motivate different people and you have to be able to analyse the personality of the person and deal with them accordingly. With some people all it takes to motivate them is a pat on the head and a "well done, good job" and they go back to work with a vengeance. With others it takes a little gentle ribbing, joking and general "man humor" to get them and keep them working. Some you have to reason with in order to get them to perform. A few, unfortunately, only respond to the drill sergeant technique. At other times it takes you taking off your coat, rolling up your sleeves and getting down in the mud and muck with them.

I took the same course a few years later and they had added another thing. That was "Never sacrifice yourself or your family/personal life for the Company". Of course, that only applied to higher management, otherwise it was "Get every last bead of sweat out of the peons.

It's not something that you learn overnight so don't get down on yourself because it doesn't come to you as an epiphany. It's something that you have to learn and that takes TIME. Angelface, the fact that you are worried about it, want to improve yourself and make it work makes me think that you'll be just fine. You'll be OK.

I took the same course a few years later and they had added one thing. That was, "Never sacrifice yourself or your family/personal life for the Company". Of course, that only applied to higher management otherwise it was a case of, "Squeeze every last drop of sweat out of the peons".

 

[Danang Sailor]

About a thousand years ago, when I actually worked for a living, we had to take two job related courses a year. One year I took a one week course called, "Communication". Basically, it was a course on negotiating techniques and how to handle and motivate employees. I know that it sounds pretty dry but it was actually interesting if you are a student of people and it is something that I've carried with me the rest of my life.

One of the things that you were taught was that when dealing with employees and contractors, "ALWAYS be friendly but never their friend".

The second thing was that it takes different things to motivate different people and you have to be able to analyse the personality of the person and deal with them accordingly. With some people all it takes to motivate them is a pat on the head and a "well done, good job" and they go back to work with a vengeance. With others it takes a little gentle ribbing, joking and general "man humor" to get them and keep them working. Some you have to reason with in order to get them to perform. A few, unfortunately, only respond to the drill sergeant technique. At other times it takes you taking off your coat, rolling up your sleeves and getting down in the mud and muck with them.

I took the same course a few years later and they had added another thing. That was "Never sacrifice yourself or your family/personal life for the Company". Of course, that only applied to higher management, otherwise it was "Get every last bead of sweat out of the peons.

It's not something that you learn overnight so don't get down on yourself because it doesn't come to you as an epiphany. It's something that you have to learn and that takes TIME. Angelface, the fact that you are worried about it, want to improve yourself and make it work makes me think that you'll be just fine. You'll be OK.

I took the same course a few years later and they had added one thing. That was, "Never sacrifice yourself or your family/personal life for the Company". Of course, that only applied to higher management otherwise it was a case of, "Squeeze every last drop of sweat out of the peons".

Angel, if you take nothing else away from this thread, memorize this post by Frank; it contains the best advice
you're likely to find. So, ease up on yourself, take a deep breath, and follow his advice and you'll be fine!

 

[Angelface]

Thank you everyone. I guess valued more by my higher ups and respected by those below and I guess above as well. This is very solid advice here! I have that personality of being able to adapt to other's various personalities, so that is good to hear!! I have a very very long history of people taking advantage of me, using me for what they want and lieing to me because they know I am gullible. So overcoming that is hard. But what makes it really hard is overcoming my many issues.. anxiety, bipolar, depression... it's a huge battle to fight it everyday.. I feel like I am taking steps I never thought I could. EVER. I only cried myself in the restroom three times this week. So hopefully only twice, maybe once next week. Haha!.... Taking on authority is new to me... that will be taking some time to get used to. The people I am over know that I am new.. I can sense it. I do treat them with respect, but some don't seem to take that with a blank face.

You are right, I can't let it get in the way of family and myself.. I really miss my kids. I know I will be working less once I get the hang of it.... everyone keeps telling me how proud of me they are. I have heard it like 100 times from family, friends, and co workers.. but it's hard to take that in when I feel like I haven't done anything yet.

I barley survived this first week... it felt like just one long huge day. I think I ate more fast food and candy this week than I have in my lifetime. But now it's Friday!!!! my hubby is away for work til late tonight, so I am trying to find some way to relieve stress and relax so I can get over this last week and settle down. I would love to drink some wine, but umm I have kids and all alone at the moment, so that isn't going to happen!!! lol Maybe put some cartoons on and pass out on the couch.

 

[pirate_girl]

If you treat employees like they make a difference, they will.

You said it all so perfectly right there Jerry.

I could never be a "suit" and never found it in myself to try to manage anyone, although when I work in the nursing home, I am in charge of the aides and don't like feeling that I am.
I consider us all a team.
They call me the 'cool nurse to work with'.
That could be because I mostly look the other way and let some of the aides get away with things that aren't specifically by the book.
But as long as everyone is safe, clean, happy and fed, I am happy.

 

[pirate_girl]

Taking on authority is new to me.

Put on your big girl boots when you walk through the doors at work.
Leave what's going on at home behind.

 

[Angelface]

Thank you... it's just those big girl boots feel just so new and tight. I have and will be getting issued all this company stuff over the week including my own desk, computer, business cards, company email, tablet..

I look at all this stuff and I just get overwhelmed with emotion... not necessarily bad.. but just very awkward and new. All the sudden my name is very well noticed and important. I view it as how did I end up here?? I know it's silly because this is just simple normal perks that people expect or have had. I've always just been the very shy and quiet girl who keeps her head down low, does her grunt job and leaves to come home to enjoy being a mommy and wife.

One thing I actually HATE is that how some people treat me now because of a job title.. believe it or not, and how stupid it sounds.... I have had comments from some friends like "Oh aren't you so special now" "Look at you walking around in your heels and dress clothing like you are so much better than everyone else". Most of these are from friends I was around during my worst years and a lot of them seem to never want to change and hate the fact I actually did. My husband said that they say this stuff because they know I have outgrown them and moved past areas in life which they don't want to challenge. It's not all bad... some people treat me with more respect and appreciation also which kind of makes me cringe.. Because I am still and always will be the same inside. I never want this to change who I am or make people feel like I am better than they are. What a stupid society we live in... sorry but yes I am proud of myself and yes I do think I deserve this, but I do NOT think I deserve to be treated any better or worse because of it. But that's just me..

 

[bczoom]

You're on the right track. To be blunt, fuck those people who begrudge you for advancing yourself.

I think it's a good time to post this as I believe there's a lot you can take from it right now. This is something I memorized 25+ years ago and mentally reference if/when needed.

It cannot be said better than this.

DESIDERATA
Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others; even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career however humble; it is a real posession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy

MAX EHRMANN 1927

 

[Angelface]

Perfect!

 

[Danang Sailor]

...
One thing I actually HATE is that how some people treat me now because of a job title.. believe it or not, and how stupid it sounds.... I have had comments from some friends like "Oh aren't you so special now" "Look at you walking around in your heels and dress clothing like you are so much better than everyone else". Most of these are from friends I was around during my worst years and a lot of them seem to never want to change and hate the fact I actually did.

I would question your idea that these people are actually "friends". Real friends don't act this way; you're better off
not being in their circle any longer. If they are now under your supervision you're stuck with them for a while, but
if they are not there is no reason for you to be around them at all ... unless, of course, you really enjoy wearing that
albatross around your neck!

 

[Angelface]

I would question your idea that these people are actually "friends". Real friends don't act this way; you're better off
not being in their circle any longer. If they are now under your supervision you're stuck with them for a while, but
if they are not there is no reason for you to be around them at all ... unless, of course, you really enjoy wearing that
albatross around your neck!

No you're right. Some of these people was my mistake letting them into my life.

 

[Angelface]

Well I am learning my role real fast... actually for my second week, I was told I was doing a great job and in some areas like a veteran of it. However, my most challenging part is learning to deal with employees. There is this one girl and whatever I tell her to do, she whines and complains about it and treats me like I have no idea what I am doing.... Oh yay...

 

[NorthernRedneck]

Part of being a good manager is being able to deal with all the different personalities that make up a work team. Some people with be easier to work with than others.