Southern Sayings:
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!
She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Have a cup of coffee--it's already been "saucered and blowed."
She's so stuck up she'd drown in a rainstorm.
It'sso dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.
My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull.
He's as country as cornflakes.
This is gooder'n grits.
If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy
it.
I'm'bout as........ Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of
rocking chairs.
Happy as a clam at high tide.
Advice for Northerners moving to the South:
Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners
can.
Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
If you DO run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Some men in a
four-wheeldrive pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be
along
shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is
what
they live for.
You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the
positions of key hills, churches and rocks, you're just as well off
trying
to find it yourself.
Remember: Y'all is singular or plural. All y'all is plural. All
y'all's is
plural possessive. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be
instructed
on how to use it shortly. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around
here,
are you?"
Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand
you
either.
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's
vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in "big ol' truck," or
"bigol'
boy." "Fixin'" (as in "I'm fixin' to go to the store") is
2nd, and"Y'all" is 3rd.
As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph ina 55 mph zone directly in
the
middle of the road, remember: A lot of Southern folks learned to drive
on a
John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that
vehicle.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch 'is!" get out of
his
way. These could be the last words he will ever say.
Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do. In
fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license
plate,
you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was
purchased.
If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone
eating.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most
minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local
grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store.
It
is just something you're supposed to do.
Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one,
it
is positioned directly in front of the house. This is logical, bearing
in
mind that the dish may have cost more than the house and should,
therefore,
be prominently displayed.
One last warning but probably the most important one to remember: Be
advised that in the South, "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!
She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Have a cup of coffee--it's already been "saucered and blowed."
She's so stuck up she'd drown in a rainstorm.
It'sso dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.
My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull.
He's as country as cornflakes.
This is gooder'n grits.
If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy
it.
I'm'bout as........ Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of
rocking chairs.
Happy as a clam at high tide.
Advice for Northerners moving to the South:
Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners
can.
Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
If you DO run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Some men in a
four-wheeldrive pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be
along
shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is
what
they live for.
You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the
positions of key hills, churches and rocks, you're just as well off
trying
to find it yourself.
Remember: Y'all is singular or plural. All y'all is plural. All
y'all's is
plural possessive. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be
instructed
on how to use it shortly. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around
here,
are you?"
Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand
you
either.
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's
vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in "big ol' truck," or
"bigol'
boy." "Fixin'" (as in "I'm fixin' to go to the store") is
2nd, and"Y'all" is 3rd.
As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph ina 55 mph zone directly in
the
middle of the road, remember: A lot of Southern folks learned to drive
on a
John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that
vehicle.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch 'is!" get out of
his
way. These could be the last words he will ever say.
Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do. In
fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license
plate,
you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was
purchased.
If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone
eating.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most
minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local
grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store.
It
is just something you're supposed to do.
Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one,
it
is positioned directly in front of the house. This is logical, bearing
in
mind that the dish may have cost more than the house and should,
therefore,
be prominently displayed.
One last warning but probably the most important one to remember: Be
advised that in the South, "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
