Things to do in Walmart while your wife shops

[Mith]

Things a man can do at Wal-Mart-while his wife is taking her damned sweet time:

01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when
they aren't looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
intervals.

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies
rest-rooms.

04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3
in Housewares' . . . and see what happens.

05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.

06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department-and tell other shoppers
you're sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding
Department.

08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask:
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick
your nose.

10. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme
from "Mission Impossible."

12. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
sized funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say:
"PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while . . . then
yell loudly:
"There's no toilet paper in here!"

 

[Dargo]

I'd heard this read on the G Gordon Liddy show a couple of weeks ago and had to laugh. The #1 on the list is actually something that was part of the initiation process to our fraternity in college. The only difference was that the prank was performed at a Target store. I don't think we had a Walmart. The only real difference was that a pledge had to only get 10 boxes of condoms in people's shopping cart while an "active" fraternity member watched and verified this task.

The part that was really funny was to stand around the check out isle and watch. Oddly enough, most people didn't notice they'd purchased a box of condoms. I really would love to have seen the expression on their face when they got home and realized what they had bought! Some were so funny when they noticed that we had to flee because we couldn't stop laughing when someone said "Hey, those aren't mine!", because the check out clerk almost always said "Well, they are in your cart!". Some of the exchanges that followed were just too funny!!

 

[BadAttitude]

And last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while . . . then
yell loudly:
"There's no toilet paper in here!"

.......
bwaaaaaaaaaa.........