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The Wife

Junkman

Extra Super Moderator
The wife comes come early & finds her husband in their master bedroom
making love to a beautiful, sexy young lady!

"You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! What are you doing? How dare you
do this to me the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm
leaving this house, I want a divorce!"

The husband, replies "Wait, Wait a minute! Before you leave, at least
listen to what happened"

"Hummmmm, I don't know, well it'll be the last thing I will hear from
you. But make it fast, you unfaithful pig you"

The husband begins to tell his story . . .

"While driving home this young lady asks for a ride. I saw her so
defenseless that I went ahead and allowed her in my car. I noticed
that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She
mentioned that she had not eaten for 3 days. With great compassion
and hurt, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas that I made
for you last night that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll
gain weight; the poor thing, practically devours them. Since she was
very dirty I asked her to take a shower. While she was showering, I
noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw her
clothes away. Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans
that you have had for a few years, that you can no longer wear
because they are too tight on you, I also gave her the blouse that I
gave you on our anniversary and you don't wear because I don't have
good taste. I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for
Christmas that you will not wear just to bother my sister and I also
gave her the boots that you bought at the expensive boutique that you
never wore again after you saw your co-worker wearing the same pair."

The husband continues his story . . . . .

"The young woman was very grateful to me and I walked her to the door.

When we got to the door she turned around and with tears coming out
of her eyes, she asks me:
"Sir, do you have anything else that your wife does not use"
 
Junkman said:
"Sir, do you have anything else that your wife does not use"
A safer option for the guy may have been to point her to all the cookware in the kitchen...
Or maybe the vacuum (the broom gets used a lot).
 
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