The Tie.

[Galvatron]

A young man, desperate for water, was plodding through the desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little old man at a small stand selling ties.

The young man asked, "Do you have water?"

The old man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."

The young man shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need Water! I should kill you, but I must find water first."

"OK," said the old man. "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need."

Muttering, the young man staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he staggered back.

"Your f***ing brother won't let me in without a tie."

 

[tsaw]

Nice one Thanks.

Ever hear this one?

One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

 

[Galvatron]

Now thats comedy


reps.