The Perks Of Being Over 60.....

[FrancSevin]

I think this has been posted before but I cannot remember. Hell, I might have posted it

Perks of Being over 60:

• Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
• Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
• Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
• In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
• No one expects you to run--anywhere.
• People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you?"
• People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
• There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
• Things you buy now won't wear out.
• You think humor must be good for your body, exercise and diets haven't worked well.
• You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
• You can live without sex but not without glasses.
• You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
• You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
• You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
• You sing along with elevator music.
• Your eyes won't get much worse.
• Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
• You know more about prescription drugs than you pharmacist
• You can't remember who sent you this list.
• My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
• Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
• It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
• These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

 

[Danang Sailor]

I think this has been posted before but I cannot remember. Hell, I might have posted it

Perks of Being over 60:

• Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
• Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
• Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
• In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
• No one expects you to run--anywhere.
• People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you?"
• People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
• There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
• Things you buy now won't wear out.
• You think humor must be good for your body, exercise and diets haven't worked well.
• You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
• You can live without sex but not without glasses.
• You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
• You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
• You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
• You sing along with elevator music.
• Your eyes won't get much worse.
• Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
• You know more about prescription drugs than you pharmacist
• You can't remember who sent you this list.
• My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
• Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
• It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
• These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

Everybody in the family has been sick today, and a good chuckle was really needed. Thanks!