• Please be sure to read the rules and adhere to them. Some banned members have complained that they are not spammers. But they spammed us. Some even tried to redirect our members to other forums. Duh. Be smart. Read the rules and adhere to them and we will all get along just fine. Cheers. :beer: Link to the rules: https://www.forumsforums.com/threads/forum-rules-info.2974/

The Defective Parrot

P

pappy19

New member
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way..
I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me!'

'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird'

'Oh yeah?' the guy asks, 'Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?'


'Well,' the parrot says, I wrap my weenie around it. You can't see it because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand and speak English can't you?'

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology... You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.'

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.... 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm a defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!'

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational....

He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the UPS man..'

'What are you talking about?' asks the guy.

'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?'

'Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

'NO!' he exclaims. 'then what happened?'


'He continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over....'

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'

'Damned if I know. My weenie got hard and I fell off the perch!'
 
That's so very sad !
It kinda reminds Me of a friend that bought a parrot . It was guaranteed to talk . But, when He got it home , It remained mute for 2 weeks . He went back to the shop that sold Him the bird .,the clerk asked if He'd bought the golden ladder . Obviously he hadn't ,so He got one . another 2 weeks goes by ,and no improvement . The clerk asks if He's bought the silver mirror . So, he gets it . Anther week goes by ,and the bird dies . The clerk at the store couldn't believe it . He asked the owner if He was sure that the bird remained speechless . The owner said He only ever uttered one word........ Food
A very sad story indeed .It broke My heart just telling it .
 
Of course this is probably the saddest parrot exchange ever . I tear up just looking at it .

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npjOSLCR2hE"]YouTube- The Parrot Sketch[/ame]
Peta should be all over this .
 
Lia said:
Yes, an extremely funny man, John Cleese... he had a 'Basil Fawlty' moment on a talk show in 2008 after his third wife took him to the cleaners when they divorced.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...ant-ex-wife-mother--I-thought-Id-rid-her.html
Click to expand...

I suppose the strain of an ugly divorce can make a person behave strangely .
He always seemed to be rather well grounded,an imperturbable otherwise .
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn15BUFBvu8"]YouTube- Fa-fa-fa-fire! - Fawlty Towers - BBC[/ame]
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wb7K_KUJqoQ&feature=related"]YouTube- the germans fawlty towers [2-3][/ame]



:whistling:
 
nixon said:
I suppose the strain of an ugly divorce can make a person behave strangely .
He always seemed to be rather well grounded,an imperturbable otherwise .



:whistling:
Click to expand...

Actually, the truth is that John has extremely amicable relationships with his two previous wives, so yes, this behaviour would appear to be totally out of character for him.

Connie has never uttered a word against him, and as far as I can tell, neither has Barbara, his first wife.

Connie Booth, a very talented person in her own right, and now a Psychotherapist, is extremely reserved and reclusive. For anyone interested,here below is a fascinating article about her entitled, 'Life After Polly.'

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...-a-case-of-fawlty-memory-syndrome-450289.html
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top