teen age boys

[Snowtrac Nome]

I have a step son that got a little out of control the other night.he called his mom a" bitch ,and told me to fuck off "when i told him "off to his room".he tried to walk off out of the house ,and when i stepped in front of him he toook a swing at me.That was his first mistake as military training came in play i restrained him. he asked for me to let go and he would sit ,instead he took another swing this time it took a little bit more to get him restrained, so the idiot did make contact with my forhead with a closed fist several times. it left some nice welts for the police to admire yet it really didn't hurt as i hit my head more than that in a day at work.the juvinial probation offcer let him in to our custody after 24 hours of cooling his heals in a cell.my hope is that he has learned a lesson about trying to handle his problems with a fight my worst fear is he is going to try it again where he won't be invited back. What in the world do these kids think now days that they think the can order parrents around arn't kids greatfull now days they get food shelter and clothing why do they have to challeng me to the rights to piss on the fire plug.is this normal for kids now days.

 

[REDDOGTWO]

It is. We took in the GF's niece as her dad works in the oil patch and she got into a big spat with her mother. One night I tried to have a sit down and told her that if she was going to stay here she had to the dishes every other night, her reply was what if I do not eat here, she was told it made no difference that was her contribution as the last time when she was living in the motor home she was told the same thing and she walked out and came back and ate, then she left.

Conversing with her did not good as she said FU to me and walked out the door. I locked the door. She calls her dad and said she was locked out and it was cold, about 40 degrees, he called us, about that time I decided she had had enough and let her in to get her stuff as her brother came and picked her up and took her to his place where he was living with his brother and girlfriend. That lasted two weeks and she stole a Ipad music thing from the little girls that were there before they kicked her out. She is now living with her mother again.

She just turned 16 and weighs about 300 pounds, numerous suspensions from school because of her language and attitude. Recently got a job and lasted about three days. She only passed two classes last semester and it looks the same this one.

It seems that some teenagers now a days have lost all respect for their elders and authorities. I told here when she left that she had better shape up or she would not even be qualified to ask if they wanted fries with their burger.

 

[JEV]

We have a culture where disciplining a child is frowned upon, for fear it will emotionally distress them. IMHO, that's bullshit. These PC morons have parents in court for doing what they should be doing with a physical kid...knock the brat on his ass. Being a stepdad puts you in an even more difficult position. Instead of teaching consequences in schools, they teach these kids that their parents and guardians can be punished and even put in jail for challenging their poor behavior. Consequently, we end up with kids acting out and given free reign to do and say as they please without fear of retribution. We all know this leads to bigger problems outside the home, but you can't tell that to the PC wimps.

Hopefully a night behind bars is a wakeup call for him. Otherwise, I fear his attitude will have him behind bars for other reasons down the road, and that's not good for anyone. My wife has a nephew who ended up doing hard time due to the piss poor choices he made. He was fine in prison, but it ate up his mother the whole time he was in.

 

[XeVfTEUtaAqJHTqq]

We have a culture where disciplining a child is frowned upon, for fear it will emotionally distress them. IMHO, that's bullshit. These PC morons have parents in court for doing what they should be doing with a physical kid...knock the brat on his ass. Being a stepdad puts you in an even more difficult position. Instead of teaching consequences in schools, they teach these kids that their parents and guardians can be punished and even put in jail for challenging their poor behavior. Consequently, we end up with kids acting out and given free reign to do and say as they please without fear of retribution. We all know this leads to bigger problems outside the home, but you can't tell that to the PC wimps.

Hopefully a night behind bars is a wakeup call for him. Otherwise, I fear his attitude will have him behind bars for other reasons down the road, and that's not good for anyone. My wife has a nephew who ended up doing hard time due to the piss poor choices he made. He was fine in prison, but it ate up his mother the whole time he was in.

+1

 

[FrancSevin]

We have a culture where disciplining a child is frowned upon, for fear it will emotionally distress them. IMHO, that's bullshit. These PC morons have parents in court for doing what they should be doing with a physical kid...knock the brat on his ass. Being a stepdad puts you in an even more difficult position. Instead of teaching consequences in schools, they teach these kids that their parents and guardians can be punished and even put in jail for challenging their poor behavior. Consequently, we end up with kids acting out and given free reign to do and say as they please without fear of retribution. We all know this leads to bigger problems outside the home, but you can't tell that to the PC wimps.

Hopefully a night behind bars is a wakeup call for him. Otherwise, I fear his attitude will have him behind bars for other reasons down the road, and that's not good for anyone. My wife has a nephew who ended up doing hard time due to the piss poor choices he made. He was fine in prison, but it ate up his mother the whole time he was in.

+2

EvenDr Spock said his views on sparing the rod were all wrong. This, after his own son commited suicide.

They can arrest me, I spank the grandkids. It gets a serious frown from their mother but grandma backs me up. But then MOM was raised in Conecticutt.

Grandma can get 6 year old lil' Jessie to stop cold in his tracks at the mere mention of his name. She prolly smacked two maybe three times in his wholelife.

Conecticutt MOM cannot get him to do anything. So she pleads,and pleads, and negotiates.,,,,and pleads

Grandpa has done it once. Lil Jessie behaves with grandpa.

But Conecticutt MOM continues to try and negotiate.

Negotiation does not work. Keep in mind, the kids have better cards and more experience at doing that. Draw a reasonble but staight clear line. Grant the buggars no quarter. Not an inch. Yo want them to be successful adults,,,,don't treat them like a child.

Works at any age. But harder to do as they get older and more experienced at negotiations. And just like in politics, when they walk off in a tantrum you are expected to comprimise.

Don't!!!!, cause then, you have just lost.

The worst thing you can do is keep them from an overnight stay at the jail house. Bad as that may seem, you mission is to to keep them out of jail for life.

Lastly, cruel as it sounds, you may well fail. But compromise may well give you a life sentence as well. You must choose.

I suggest you choose wisely.

 

[Snowtrac Nome]

thanks i just hope he was seperated from the other jail birds last thing i need is for him to have jail bird friends. The poor kid is pleagued with problems his mother has shown a weaknes for liquor and his dad is a welfair rat wth no job who is also a woman beater. the rest of his family has shown that going to jail is a right of passage. the old man has never paied a day of child support i have been the only man in his family.rules are rules and life is not a vidio game. By the way

 

[muleman]

I have to agree with JEV as well. Today they are bribed from an early age and school life just refines that outlook for them. My grand daughters learned early on that acting like a brat ends whatever activity was going on. Whether shopping or at the park. You act up it ends right there. Never had problems like their parents do with them. I see it all around me and really do wonder if the parents are blind to what is going on.

 

[Snowtrac Nome]

by the way Mom is on the mend and diong well attending all meetings and controling cravings. the schools like to blame parents for not raising kids right while parrents are afraid to disiplin kids. i know there are those out there that take things to the extreeme but at 14 you are beyond a spanking or the dreaded time out. i don't like the idea that one needs the cops to resolve a problem in the family ,where as most of the tme the head of the house hold should be able to take charge and rectify bad behavior at a moments notice.

 

[JEV]

Sent as few prayers your way for the wisdom to choose the right path to guide the boy. Keep us posted.

 

[Snowtrac Nome]

remember once a soldier always a soldier i don't quit.

 

[FrancSevin]

Advice is cheap and easy from someone in the relative safety of a now childless household. I am a grandparent who was lucky enough not to have my kid cross the line too often. And joined the Navy when his ego got the best of his common sense.

Prayers from here that you receive the wisdom,and the patience, you need when the tough times come.

 

[300 H and H]

I am right here with you Don, as I am going through some of this with a 15 year old daughter. Suddenly she is talking back like an adult, and it leaves me speechless to hear her spout at her mother....But not for long.

It is a shame that Dr Spock's idea's have been followed, as at an early age they figure out that you cann't touch them physically. Thisis why we have the issues we do, as at the age a spanking would have had the desired effect, you could not do that. Some times there are no words to convey your meaning, that aren't met with back talking and disrespect. As Franc states Dr Spock's son took his own life, and Dr Spock reversed his positions, but we have not as a society. We are now in the middle of paying for his mistake.

Good luck, you and I are going to need it...

Regards, Kirk

 

[waybomb]

I guess I was lucky. I spanked my kid at a young age right from the start. I do not believe in negotiating or time outs. Phhht.
Only needed to do it three or four times his entire childhood.
Thank God, because by the time he was 15 he was bigger than me and coulda kicked me arse!

 

[Kane]

Dealing with stepchildren is hardly ever easy, particularly when the birth-parents are part of the problem. My heart goes out to you, dds. But you have no alternative but to keep up with consistent discipline, even as the kid grows to resent you for it. Someday he'll thank you for it. And you are probably right in getting the local police and social services involved.

But, if today's news is to be believed, keep your firearms securely locked away.
.

 

[luvs]

i was placed over a knee. that worked.

except, i got sent to my room, too. i send my nephews to thiers. my 'lil neice-- she is a baby. she is easily distracted via binkies & naps.
my autistic nephew needs coaxed to ingest food.
kiddos differ. dev watches as i cook & incessantly needs to know how to cook.
ayd has to play video games 95% of his day.
gagey fights w/ his brother over them, then they both pitch a fit when i say those games were to be put away if they bickered over 'em.