I have come to believe that the lovely Mrs_B is trying to kill me.
We tend to kayak in the Florida State Parks every chance we can get. Have been to several Florida parks over the years, often visiting 2 or 3 of them in the same week and always spend time paddling through mangrove swamps, salt marshes, etc. So this was planned again for this trip. The Faver-Dykes State Park has a great waterway system that runs all the way out into the intercoastal waterway, and, in the opposite direction has plenty of backwater areas. Its on the Florida Canoe Trail of recommended places to go so we had really been looking forward to this visit.
We feel most comfortable in kayaks, generally find them more stable and easier to maneuver in the shallows. Unfortunately this park only rented canoes. Old aluminum canoes that had no foam floatation, so a capsize means the canoe will simply sink. Oh joy. Well I just figured no problem, we've never capsized one before and we all are modestly experienced in canoeing anyway . . . besides I held the college record for a 14 mile canoe race many years ago (won the race 3 years in a row) so I didn't think twice about any of reports from the ranger that there were 3 to 4 foot alligators in the area where we planned to go.
On to the boat ramp and we got talking to a older gent who had just pulled his fishing skiff out of the water. We couldn't put in until he pulled the truck with the boat out of the ramp. He reporting seeing some larger alligators in the area in addition to the smaller ones, all very near where we were standing. Again, I think nothing much of it. Melen, on the other hand, was seriously afraid.
So we get the boats in. My wife and Melen in the first canoe. They set off and I get into the other canoe with my sister-in-law. Probably paddled about 500 feet down the channel working out toward the Intercoastal (another 2 miles away) when Melen and the lovely Mrs_B feel that my canoe is too close (we are 3' away and running parallel). So what does the lovely wife do? She pushes down on the side rail of my canoe . . . and the rail of the canoe dips ever so slightly below the waterline. Now my sister-in-law is not a little lady. It was sort of like the Titanic going down. I'm sitting in the back and looking forward and I see the canoe listing to one side while the bow of the canoe plunges under the surface, the stern, with me sitting raises skyward and a second later I am standing in brackish water with an upside down canoe next to me. Two paddles, 2 life preservers, 2 seat cushions and my camera (enclosed in an underwater dive case) are floating nearby.
Yup my wife is trying to kill me!
I flip the canoe but it is hopelessly filled with water. Every attempt to spill water from the canoe just puts more water into it. Now this is not a canoe that will float when filled with water so we try to walk over to the bank with the canoe in tow. The closer we get the deeper the water gets. The deeper the water gets the deeper the muck at the bottom of the channel gets so that my shoes are now being sucked off my feet with every attempted step. OK, new plan. We are not going to make it to the bank!
So we turn toward the dock, some 500' away.
The fisherman, who's name is Dave, saw what happened and put his boat back in the water . . . but did not replace the drain plug. The Ranger showed up, just by chance. The two of them power over to "rescue" us from my wife
But his boat is slowly sinking. My sister-in-law almost tips his boat while climbing in, I hop in, my wife, now with too many witnesses around to effect a final blow and leave me behind tows my flooded canoe back toward the dock while Dave powers the boat back before it sinks.
Back to the dock and I go back in the water grab the sinking canoe, but missed the paddle that had floated away. Melen is in a state of panic and unable to steer the other canoe. Dave's boat is now taking on quite a bit of water so we hold it against the dock while he gets the plug in place and the bilge starts to pump out the water. While he gets his boat back to seaworthy shape I help my wife and daughter out of the water and get their canoe up the ramp. My canoe is now sitting on the bottom, sunk, but at the ramp so despite the brackish water is visible. I get it to the point where I can start tipping water out and slowly get it up the ramp, pulling it up about a foot at a time, tipping it to remove more water, pulling it up another foot, tipping more out, pulling, tipping . . . Dave and the ranger set off to find the drifting paddle. By the time they return I have my canoe out of the water and up the ramp.
Let's just say the canoe trip ended right there. It was exhausting for the lovely Mrs_B, she is now napping!!! Probably plotting the next accident. But hey, I've got a plan. I'm canceling my life insurance. I figure she won't be able to afford to kill me off
Oh, and sorry, but we didn't even have time to snap any photos of the voyage.
We tend to kayak in the Florida State Parks every chance we can get. Have been to several Florida parks over the years, often visiting 2 or 3 of them in the same week and always spend time paddling through mangrove swamps, salt marshes, etc. So this was planned again for this trip. The Faver-Dykes State Park has a great waterway system that runs all the way out into the intercoastal waterway, and, in the opposite direction has plenty of backwater areas. Its on the Florida Canoe Trail of recommended places to go so we had really been looking forward to this visit.
We feel most comfortable in kayaks, generally find them more stable and easier to maneuver in the shallows. Unfortunately this park only rented canoes. Old aluminum canoes that had no foam floatation, so a capsize means the canoe will simply sink. Oh joy. Well I just figured no problem, we've never capsized one before and we all are modestly experienced in canoeing anyway . . . besides I held the college record for a 14 mile canoe race many years ago (won the race 3 years in a row) so I didn't think twice about any of reports from the ranger that there were 3 to 4 foot alligators in the area where we planned to go.
On to the boat ramp and we got talking to a older gent who had just pulled his fishing skiff out of the water. We couldn't put in until he pulled the truck with the boat out of the ramp. He reporting seeing some larger alligators in the area in addition to the smaller ones, all very near where we were standing. Again, I think nothing much of it. Melen, on the other hand, was seriously afraid.
So we get the boats in. My wife and Melen in the first canoe. They set off and I get into the other canoe with my sister-in-law. Probably paddled about 500 feet down the channel working out toward the Intercoastal (another 2 miles away) when Melen and the lovely Mrs_B feel that my canoe is too close (we are 3' away and running parallel). So what does the lovely wife do? She pushes down on the side rail of my canoe . . . and the rail of the canoe dips ever so slightly below the waterline. Now my sister-in-law is not a little lady. It was sort of like the Titanic going down. I'm sitting in the back and looking forward and I see the canoe listing to one side while the bow of the canoe plunges under the surface, the stern, with me sitting raises skyward and a second later I am standing in brackish water with an upside down canoe next to me. Two paddles, 2 life preservers, 2 seat cushions and my camera (enclosed in an underwater dive case) are floating nearby.
Yup my wife is trying to kill me!
I flip the canoe but it is hopelessly filled with water. Every attempt to spill water from the canoe just puts more water into it. Now this is not a canoe that will float when filled with water so we try to walk over to the bank with the canoe in tow. The closer we get the deeper the water gets. The deeper the water gets the deeper the muck at the bottom of the channel gets so that my shoes are now being sucked off my feet with every attempted step. OK, new plan. We are not going to make it to the bank!
So we turn toward the dock, some 500' away.
The fisherman, who's name is Dave, saw what happened and put his boat back in the water . . . but did not replace the drain plug. The Ranger showed up, just by chance. The two of them power over to "rescue" us from my wife
But his boat is slowly sinking. My sister-in-law almost tips his boat while climbing in, I hop in, my wife, now with too many witnesses around to effect a final blow and leave me behind tows my flooded canoe back toward the dock while Dave powers the boat back before it sinks.Back to the dock and I go back in the water grab the sinking canoe, but missed the paddle that had floated away. Melen is in a state of panic and unable to steer the other canoe. Dave's boat is now taking on quite a bit of water so we hold it against the dock while he gets the plug in place and the bilge starts to pump out the water. While he gets his boat back to seaworthy shape I help my wife and daughter out of the water and get their canoe up the ramp. My canoe is now sitting on the bottom, sunk, but at the ramp so despite the brackish water is visible. I get it to the point where I can start tipping water out and slowly get it up the ramp, pulling it up about a foot at a time, tipping it to remove more water, pulling it up another foot, tipping more out, pulling, tipping . . . Dave and the ranger set off to find the drifting paddle. By the time they return I have my canoe out of the water and up the ramp.
Let's just say the canoe trip ended right there. It was exhausting for the lovely Mrs_B, she is now napping!!! Probably plotting the next accident. But hey, I've got a plan. I'm canceling my life insurance. I figure she won't be able to afford to kill me off
Oh, and sorry, but we didn't even have time to snap any photos of the voyage.
