Stimulus Payments

[cowgirl]

"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.

This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q
and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at WalMart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer it will go to India.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras,
and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

If you buy a car it will go to Japan.

If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

 

[Spiffy1]

Scary, but nearly true! I best not go on, or I'll break a keyboard over my monitor and have to go support the economies of China and India.

 

[American Woman]

frustrating isn't it? grrrr!

 

[ddrane2115]

"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.

This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q
and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at WalMart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer it will go to India.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras,
and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

If you buy a car it will go to Japan.

If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

A shameless hold on one second here. I have just bought a new computer for my house ............. well 3 of them, but lets talk about the one I am on now. It is American made and built, tigerdirect.com, their brand systemax, proudly built in America, and this is my second one of them, pretty good computers for the money.

ok, continue with stream............going to get on my foreign built laptop and enjoy my foreign tv, in my foreign made recliner, while my investments in foreign countries pay me big time.

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

you hit it right on the head! if we get another stimulous thing-a-ma-deedle-doo, itll be spent on US craft and micro brews. and dat be all