JenKennings
Occupant; CatBird Seat
SMART ASS ANSWERS
It was mealtime during an Air Canada flight.
'Would you like dinner?' , the flight attendant
asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
A flight attendant was stationed at the Westjet departure gate to
check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to
see your ticket, not your stub.'
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the
officer said.
The kid replied, “Sorry, Officer; I got here as fast as I could.'
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign
that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of
him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of
his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and
says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out
of gas.'
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in
your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence
was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and
sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
hand.'
It was mealtime during an Air Canada flight.
'Would you like dinner?' , the flight attendant
asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
A flight attendant was stationed at the Westjet departure gate to
check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to
see your ticket, not your stub.'
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the
officer said.
The kid replied, “Sorry, Officer; I got here as fast as I could.'
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign
that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of
him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of
his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and
says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out
of gas.'
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in
your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence
was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and
sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
hand.'
