Bamby
New member
"TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW"
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...
Spotted in a safari park: (I sure hope so.)
ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)
_________________________
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you?
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya' think?
------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy! ---------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works better than a fair trial!
-----------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
-------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya' think?!
-------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought! ------------------------------
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? ------------------------------
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
******************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
*******************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*******************
And the winner is...
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone to whom you want to bring a smile... (maybe even a chuckle).
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...
Spotted in a safari park: (I sure hope so.)
ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)
_________________________
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you?
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya' think?
------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy! ---------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works better than a fair trial!
-----------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
-------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya' think?!
-------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought! ------------------------------
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? ------------------------------
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
******************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
*******************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*******************
And the winner is...
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone to whom you want to bring a smile... (maybe even a chuckle).