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Shopping with the wife: shoot me now, PLEASE

Melensdad

Melensdad

Jerk in a Hawaiian Shirt & SNOWCAT Moderator
Staff member
I had to go to SAMs Club to pick up some Soda pop and water for the cigar lounge. Wife said she wanted to come with, make a stop or two. Been out of the house for 2 1/2 hours, not even close to SAMs yet. Oh I can see it from here, but there are apparently 3 or 4 more stops to make before we get there. Just spent 40 minutes in the dollar store. WTF? I can get into/out of SAMs in about 15 minutes and that store is 100,000 square feet. Now I'm sitting in the parking lot at Target. Help me.
 
:toiletpap:toiletpap:toiletpap:toiletpap:toiletpap:toiletpap

Sorry Bob, it sounds as if you are in deep doo-doo. The smileys were the only thing I could think of that might help.

Maybe this is better but remember that you have to drive home.

:1062::1062::1062:
 
Men go to the store to get what they need.
Women don't need to buy anything, ,,,,
Women need to shop.

Men are always focused on quickly attaining the prize. Women are focused on enjoyment of the experience. Yeah,,,,,,same as with sex.

If you are in a hurry, just do it yourself.
Yeah, same as with sex.


Take a deep breath,,,,do it her way. You will both like it better.


jus' sayin!:whistling:
 
Just looked at prom dresses. I dunno why? Went shoe shopping. Looked at sweaters. I gave up. I'm out in the common area of the mall, field stripping my gun. Nobody is bothering me, it's peaceful here.
 
I don't know if this would work for you, but it may be worthwhile.

My technique is to meet the Mrs. half way between home and her work and shop that area when she gets out of work. With 2 vehicles, I can shop my way, she shops hers. Earlier this week, I did my shopping at Lowe's, the eyeglass store (repair 2 pair of glasses), Costco, Tractor Supply and was done in about 45-60 minutes. I fell asleep that night before Mrs. Zoom even got home.
 
My calm was disturbed by Mrs Bob. She left the receipts for a return in the car. On the other end of the mall.

Walked there, drove back!

Sitting again.
 
I think you need to sit down with a Upman Sir Winston,or a Patigas lucitania,or a Monticristo A Or a Diplimatico number two or Bolivar Giganto or watever brand you prefer. I was thinking of a nice Colorado wraper with big green sun spots Pre-Castro.
feel my vision Now ease the hammer back down and holster that wepon. Life is full of challenges. I know you couldn't have seen this one coming, next time you will be more prepared. tell her you are going to get a new flush valve for the toilet.
 
Melensdad said:
Just looked at prom dresses. I dunno why? Went shoe shopping. Looked at sweaters. I gave up. I'm out in the common area of the mall, field stripping my gun. Nobody is bothering me, it's peaceful here.
Click to expand...
Your mistake was going to her stores first.
As a man, you are focused on accomplishing your mission. For hours now you are frustrated because,,,,,,,,you are unsatisfied

Next time go to your store and get your stuff done. Then you can better take the time required for getting her needs done.

Yeah, same as sex.

Sorry to keep bringing that sexual reference up. But, the logic path in a man's brain is well worn on that subject.... and therefore easier to access.

Get your's done. Then with that out of the way you can focus on getting her happy. It doesn't take much effort, just time being involved in letting her do what she wants. Just don't roll over and snore.
 
I can't remember the last time I went shopping with my wife and I didn't have something to do at the same time.

Wait let me check . . . oh yeah . . . I still have mine. :poke: :whistle:
 
i'm sorry. it's a lost cause. when a guy agrees to get a few things at target, that means you'll hafta (okay, in reality; she'll drag u into) at least 5 places. usually 15-20. she'll get fitted fer shoes, then disappear into a dressing room several times at another store in a mall an hour away, then, after changing into 27 different pairs of jeans before deciding you're buying her the 1st pair she chose, she'll decide she has to have a glimpse at the jewely at macy's. once she gets the new bracelet you've now gotten her, u'll then hafta look into the sale at victoria's secret. then she'll be fatigued from watching u drag her new purchases & get curly fries from the food court, & have 2 of them.
she'll hafta get over to the 1 place so u can buy her a pink glittery phone cover. shopping is many a womens' delight, & seems to be dreaded by yinz guys.
 
I hate shopping.
Good thing the Lindt chocolate store is only 3 stores into the mall or I'd have to buy even more to avoid going there again.

Good luck, Bob.
 
i fear we may have lost melensdad to stress, guys. a mental institution. he may well be rocking & humming while saying, 'fuk shopping' in a staccato rhythm. we have not seen a post from him fer hours.
 
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I was gonna offer to come and shoot you since I am close...here in Indiana ....but if your armed forget it. The survival instinct is too strong to risk you changing your mind at an inconvenient moment for me...:whistling:
 
Left the house at 8am, got home at 3pm.

The only place I needed to go was SAMs Club for water and pop. I think I was inside SAMs for a total of 30 minutes and that was because the lines at the register were long.
 
My wife doesn't ask me to go shopping anymore, last time she did I bought a dump truck ...... :)
 
Melensdad said:
Left the house at 8am, got home at 3pm.

The only place I needed to go was SAMs Club for water and pop. I think I was inside SAMs for a total of 30 minutes and that was because the lines at the register were long.
Click to expand...

Well, that is your own fault. You spent half the day gettng there!:yum::yum::yum:
 
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