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Santa is a Woman

Leni

Leni

Active member
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe Santa Claus is a woman.​


Think about it: Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy (and a "straight' guy at that!) could possibly pull it all off!
For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the shopping bag.
Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, here would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa did still have reindeer, he'd also have the transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.​







Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:

Men can't pack a bag. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.

  • Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seen with all those elves.​

    Men don't answer their mail. (But then, I've never had a reply from Santa....)​
  • ​
  • Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a "bowl full of jelly.​
  • ​
  • "Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.​
  • ​
  • Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.​
Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
 
I disagree.

We all have a feminine side. Santa's is just very large. Huge actually.

Besides, no woman I know would go anywhere near being a clean sweep of chimneys. Especially dressed in red velvet with white fur.:w00t2:

And if Santa were a woman, we men would all get new underwear and socks for Christmas.:hammer:

And Christmas would always arrive late but fashionable.:whistling:

Besides, since men are at the center of their own universe, they do not ever have to ask for directions. They know where they are.:flowers:
 
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OUCH!!!!!!!!! Guyilty on almost all counts at one time or another....In fact...just got an e-mail from one of my grand angels...14 years of age...in whitch was a picture of a very fine Lane ceder chest....and a request for an exact duplicate to be under the tree in Florida by xmas morning!!!! Hell I cant get that much ceder together by then!!! So being a man......I sent the picture back to her mother with instructions to cut it out and put it in an envelope and hang it under the tree......with a note......Phisical rendition to follow by ups...at a later date.......How am I doing Leni????? Oh by the way....Im not going to answer the phone xmas morning!!!!!:whistling:
 
Post deleted because it offends women, and God know we don't want to do that.
 
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WoW.JEV....Who pissed in your post tostys this morning?????:sad: It is all in jest my friend:yum: MERRY CHRISTMAS to you my friend......And Leni...I think you are a joy to have around:flowers:
 
JEV said:
Post deleted because it offends women, and God know we don't want to do that.
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Nope, you don't want to do that. :sad:

Ah JEV, did that upset you? If so sorry but I took it as a joke. Thought all of you men would get a kick out of it. :biggrin: As for you Frank, I've been with men who did not know where they were, but I did. :yum: Have a great day everyone. :biggrin:
 
Leni said:
Nope, you don't want to do that. :sad:

Ah JEV, did that upset you? If so sorry but I took it as a joke. Thought all of you men would get a kick out of it. :biggrin: As for you Frank, I've been with men who did not know where they were, but I did. :yum: Have a great day everyone. :biggrin:
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That's alright, Leni. Women, like democrats, can say whatever they want about whomever they want without fear of reprisal. It's just the way it is.
 
I like that idea but it's not quite true. By the way I am a registered Republican from the day I was old enough to vote. Not exactly a liberal. :flowers:
 
I knew it!!!!!!!!A lady that Gorgous and smart had to be a republican!!!!!!!!!:yum::flowers::flowers:


Mom said I could say that!!!!:yum:
 
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