Danang Sailor
nullius in verba
You know you're in a Redneck Church if:
- people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
- when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
- opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
- a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
- the congregation of 500 members only has seven last names in the church directory.
- people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
- the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
- the collection plates are hubcaps from a 56 Chevy.
-instead of bells, you are called to service by a duck call.
- the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
- the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Strawberry Hill".
- "Thou shall not covet" thing applies to huntin' dogs, too.
- people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
- when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
- opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
- a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
- the congregation of 500 members only has seven last names in the church directory.
- people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
- the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
- the collection plates are hubcaps from a 56 Chevy.
-instead of bells, you are called to service by a duck call.
- the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
- the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Strawberry Hill".
- "Thou shall not covet" thing applies to huntin' dogs, too.
