Galvatron
Spock and Galvatron < one and the same
I’ve just come out of the chippy with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas, and a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said: "I’ve not eaten for two days".
I told him: "I wish I had your fucking will-power".
A woman buys a wall mirror from B & Q.
Manager says: "Would you like a screw for that mirror?"
”No” she said, "But I’d suck your cock for a lawn mower".
I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.
Apparently the instruction "Finish off on her face" didn’t meanwhat I thought it did.
A fat bird served me food in McDonalds at lunch time, she said: "Sorry about the wait".
I said: "Don’t worry Fatso, you’ll lose it eventually".
Paddy is walking down the road eating a bag of doughnuts.
Murphy meets him and says: "If I can guess how many doughnuts you have in the bag, can I have one?”
Paddy says: "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in there, you can have both of them!"
Murphy says: "Four!"
One of life’s great mysteries:-
How is it that a woman can fit a seven-inch vibrator into her half-inch fanny, IN THE DARK............ but she’s unable to fit an eight-foot car into a fifteen-foot parking space IN BROAD FUCKING DAYLIGHT?
Snow eh!
The weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
I thought to myself "She’ll be fucking lucky with a face like that!"
I have a new chat up line that works everytime!!
It doesn’t matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner and I always end up in bed with them.
Here’s how it goes: "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like Chloroform to you?"
Years ago it was suggested "That an apple a day kept the doctor away".
But since all the doctors are now Muslims, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!
I told him: "I wish I had your fucking will-power".
A woman buys a wall mirror from B & Q.
Manager says: "Would you like a screw for that mirror?"
”No” she said, "But I’d suck your cock for a lawn mower".
I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.
Apparently the instruction "Finish off on her face" didn’t meanwhat I thought it did.
A fat bird served me food in McDonalds at lunch time, she said: "Sorry about the wait".
I said: "Don’t worry Fatso, you’ll lose it eventually".
Paddy is walking down the road eating a bag of doughnuts.
Murphy meets him and says: "If I can guess how many doughnuts you have in the bag, can I have one?”
Paddy says: "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in there, you can have both of them!"
Murphy says: "Four!"
One of life’s great mysteries:-
How is it that a woman can fit a seven-inch vibrator into her half-inch fanny, IN THE DARK............ but she’s unable to fit an eight-foot car into a fifteen-foot parking space IN BROAD FUCKING DAYLIGHT?
Snow eh!
The weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
I thought to myself "She’ll be fucking lucky with a face like that!"
I have a new chat up line that works everytime!!
It doesn’t matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner and I always end up in bed with them.
Here’s how it goes: "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like Chloroform to you?"
Years ago it was suggested "That an apple a day kept the doctor away".
But since all the doctors are now Muslims, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!
