Perhaps someone would like to spend a day in my shoes?

[joec]

Son borrowed car with girlfriend driving as he doesn't have a license and said they would have it back by 7 PM today. Now said son is 44 years old, she in her 30's. Our car is fully insured even with anyone driving, but in all honesty we know nothing about her. We did have a photo copy of her drivers license. We get a call from them at 10:45 on my cell phone that I wasn't aware was not here, that they recked our van.

Son wanted us to have it towed home as she hit a light pole and has a warrant out for her which we are completely unaware of. So we call the police and give them the location my son told us where it happened.

Well long story short girl friend is hauled of to jail with an outstanding warrant, god only knows what for. My van is totaled, cell phone is gone and we are walking to the local bank to do deposits daily. Now anyone want to discuss retro active birth control with me now, bring it on.

 

[pirate_girl]

yikes..
How did you get a photo copy of her dl?

 

[pirate_girl]

.. and as an aside Joe, no one would want to have walked in my shoes today.
I could beat you hands down, but refuse to talk about it.
Do what you have to do, and good luck, my friend.

 

[joec]

yikes..
How did you get a photo copy of her dl?

I won't let any one use my vehicle without a copy of their license.. I also checked with the local police at the time I copied it to see if it was valid and it was. No body said anything about outstanding warrants.

As you know I'm not in good health and my wife sure isn't either. I need this kid like I need this crap.

Edit: Wife just got off the phone with insurance company and a rental car will be dropped off here tomorrow till the van is either fixed or totaled.

 

[pirate_girl]

Good luck.

 

[fogtender]

Sorry to hear about that, I get a shot of good news then feel bad for all the bad news going on. At least nobody is/was hurt!

Hope the insurance is good and you are made whole again!

Maybe it would be a good time to tell your son he is grounded?

 

[muleman]

There are times when you have to tell them it is time to stand on their own and be responsible for themselves. At that age he should be doing just that. I sure don't miss all that drama and the costs that go with it. Don't have much time left and refuse to let others control how I spend it.

 

[JEV]

Son borrowed car with girlfriend driving as he doesn't have a license and said they would have it back by 7 PM today. Now said son is 44 years old, she in her 30's. Our car is fully insured even with anyone driving, but in all honesty we know nothing about her. We did have a photo copy of her drivers license. We get a call from them at 10:45 on my cell phone that I wasn't aware was not here, that they recked our van.

Son wanted us to have it towed home as she hit a light pole and has a warrant out for her which we are completely unaware of. So we call the police and give them the location my son told us where it happened.

Well long story short girl friend is hauled of to jail with an outstanding warrant, god only knows what for. My van is totaled, cell phone is gone and we are walking to the local bank to do deposits daily. Now anyone want to discuss retro active birth control with me now, bring it on.

Sure, I'll stick it out there and have a go around with ya. Hey, my friend, you're not the first or last to have your kids fuck up your life. We all have stories we could tell, but that would be best over some good hooch and a cigar. I offer no advice because I'm sure you already have a plan that your bride is debunking. Hope you get some wheels soon.

 

[Cowboy]

That sucks for sure Joe , I wouldnt sweat the small ( Material things ) stuff though allthough it seems like a big deal right now. Like Foggy said at least no one was hurt, at least not yet.

Things could allways be worse , wait untill the lil trophy girlfriend comes up pregnant.

Best of luck getting a replacement for you van and getting your life back together.

 

[squerly]

Things could allways be worse , wait untill the lil trophy girlfriend comes up pregnant.

Yep, that would certainly set the "worse bar" a little higher... I don't expect it'll make you feel much better but I have 3 boys. 34, 36, and 38 yet they act like 17. My day starts with a quick review of the local paper to see how many of them are still alive and free. I feel your pain.

 

[joec]

That sucks for sure Joe , I wouldnt sweat the small ( Material things ) stuff though allthough it seems like a big deal right now. Like Foggy said at least no one was hurt, at least not yet.

Things could allways be worse , wait untill the lil trophy girlfriend comes up pregnant.

Best of luck getting a replacement for you van and getting your life back together.

Man don't go there with her being pregnant please. We are talking about a guy that has produced 5 kids by 3 different women. This has a lot to do with it as after he puts in 50 hours on his and still paying child support on 3 of them $660 gross check he gets $35 period. The rest is taken by Kentucky out of his.

At any rate the insurance has got it covered as we have Geicko. At any rate the rental car will be here by 12 and our van is at the body shop. As for son well he will be going very soon. The wife is finally on board as I've wanted to cut him off now since we came to Kentucky.

 

[joec]

Yep, that would certainly set the "worse bar" a little higher... I don't expect it'll make you feel much better but I have 3 boys. 34, 36, and 38 yet they act like 17. My day starts with a quick review of the local paper to see how many of them are still alive and free. I feel your pain.

We had 4 squerly, 3 boys and a girl. The girl was killed 2 days after her 31st birthday on 9/11/2001 leaving 3 kids behind. She was the youngest. This one is the second youngest and left the military after 8 years in go figure. Boy #2 is a doctor and #1 runs a large car part supply on the west coast. Between them we have 17 grandkids and 5.5 great grand. I really have learned two things in my life about kids. The average American family is 2.4 kids which I now understand as we 2 whole kids and 2 .2 kids. The second thing is humans just think they know how to raise kids but should take a lesson from bees. Bees babies are born, sealed in a wall and not let out till the have a job. If they don't work the eat them.

 

[Kane]

Just spent the last two months playing chauffeur to my 36 year-old youngest son subsequent to his DUI. Good kid (well, adult), a chemist at a prominent university. Humbling experience for him. Thinks it's never happened to anybody else. HA.

Wish he'd been there to drive ME around in my drinkin' days.

.

 

[joec]

Just spent the last two months playing chauffeur to my 36 year-old youngest son subsequent to his DUI. Good kid (well, adult), a chemist at a prominent university. Humbling experience for him. Thinks it's never happened to anybody else. HA.

Wish he'd been there to drive ME around in my drinkin' days.

.

This one lost his license due to his child support being behind. Got arrested for attempting to strick an officer, got a year which put him behind so the took his license. Funny how when the guy has custody of a child from a previous marriage (2nd old did now she is grown) and ex wife is supposed to pay child support they do nothing to them. He had custody of his daughter from 5 till she went off to collage last year at 19 but has never gotten a penny of the 50K + owed to him in child support. She not only has a drivers license but owns a business in Arizona. A man they grab the drivers license which then makes it close to impossible to get to a job especially in this area since there is little to no public transportation.

 

[Kane]

This one lost his license due to his child support being behind. Got arrested for attempting to strick an officer, got a year which put him behind so the took his license. Funny how when the guy has custody of a child from a previous marriage (2nd old did now she is grown) and ex wife is supposed to pay child support they do nothing to them. He had custody of his daughter from 5 till she went off to collage last year at 19 but has never gotten a penny of the 50K + owed to him in child support. She not only has a drivers license but owns a business in Arizona. A man they grab the drivers license which then makes it close to impossible to get to a job especially in this area since there is little to no public transportation.

In many states, they throw a man in jail for being behind on support. What are they (the lawmakers) thinking?!?

 

[jimbo]

Stories like you peoples make me realize just how well off I am with my 2 kids. Although I essentially lost them for years due to my refusal to get them into the middle of a divorce, they have finally come around. In the meantime I have never had to bail out either one, both got through college on scholarships, the son by dunking basketballs, and the daughter on grades and hard work. The only thing I have ever spent is the purchase of a car for the daughter while she was in school, and I just financed an expansion of my son's screen printing business. The fact he owes me big time bothers him more than me. Pays the bill and then some each and every month 10 days ahead. Son is going through a divorce and learned from my mistakes. Daughter and her husband do just fine.

My brother and sister can't stand each other, and I act as the arbitrator in the middle. All in all, not not bad.

 

[joec]

In many states, they throw a man in jail for being behind on support. What are they (the lawmakers) thinking?!?

I know he had it happen for paying his support to his first wife directly. He was out of work here in Kentucky so came to Florida and worked. He got up enough to pay the back child support to ex who lives in Virginia. He rents a car and drives to Virginia and pays her full amount owed plus and extra year. He gets a receipt and heads back to Kentucky. He is arrested in 4 days and goes before a Kentucky judge which gives in 18 months for paying her directly instead of letting Kentucky collect it then send it on to Virginia before she gets it about a month late with both states taking a % on the transaction. He also got and addition 6 months for contempt of court when he called the judge and ass hole, he never did learn when to shut up. Oh and this whole thing put him another 2.5 years behind which he finally paid off last year with his income tax return. Both of those sons are on their own and had been for 3 and 5 years prior to him paying it off.

 

[luv2weld]

Holy Crap!!!!!
After reading this thread, I am so grateful that my girlfriend and I have no
kids. And since we are in our 60's, never will have kids.
I had a couple of brothers and a half sister that tried to suck all the money
and life out of me. They all thought, if I had it, they deserved it and I was supposed to give it to them. Didn't matter if it was a car, or a house,
whatever, they deserved it more than me, so I was supposed to just hand it
over.
I spent a large part of my younger life paying bills for my whole family,
including stepfather and mother, and giving them everything I had worked for.
I was thrown out on the street at 15, so I guess I thought if I gave them
everything they wanted, they would let me back in to the family.
I finally realized the giving was only one way---from me to them.
The only thing they ever gave me was grief and a hard time.
Haven't spoken to them in years. And I like it that way.
Keep telling yourself "Families are fun, families are fun!"


Joe, there is only one thing I can offer----No good deed goes unpunished!!

Ralph

 

[joec]

Holy Crap!!!!!
After reading this thread, I am so grateful that my girlfriend and I have no
kids. And since we are in our 60's, never will have kids.
I had a couple of brothers and a half sister that tried to suck all the money
and life out of me. They all thought, if I had it, they deserved it and I was supposed to give it to them. Didn't matter if it was a car, or a house,
whatever, they deserved it more than me, so I was supposed to just hand it
over.
I spent a large part of my younger life paying bills for my whole family,
including stepfather and mother, and giving them everything I had worked for.
I was thrown out on the street at 15, so I guess I thought if I gave them
everything they wanted, they would let me back in to the family.
I finally realized the giving was only one way---from me to them.
The only thing they ever gave me was grief and a hard time.
Haven't spoken to them in years. And I like it that way.
Keep telling yourself "Families are fun, families are fun!"


Joe, there is only one thing I can offer----No good deed goes unpunished!!

Ralph

That is my motto Ralph. I say it every time my wife tries to help someone be it a tenant that owes back rent to one of the grandkids wants something. I've never had to help any of my older boys since they left home it is the younger two that has taken most of the pleasure out of our lives.

 

[Adillo303]

This one lost his license due to his child support being behind.

In many states, they throw a man in jail for being behind on support.

When I was in the Air Force they would take a stripe away from a married Airman with children for bouncing a check.

I have never been unable to understand the logic of making it harder for someone when they have trouble enough as it is.

 

[FrancSevin]

My wife and I have one son. He is 41. Trust me, he has cost a lot more than a van. Several vans actualy,and a few cars and.....
So what,
Still love them and the grandkids.
Still send a check every month.

I could expect my neighbors to chip in and help via taxes and redistribution. Then with all good conscience I could reach in your wallet also. After all it is not my fault...... really.

But he and his wife are family,,,,,my family,,,,
It simply is what you do...

Nonetheless man, I am sorry for your troubles. Keep your shoes though, I've already got a pair on.

franc

 

[Galvatron]

well joe just take it for what it is worth...no one killed.

kids are testing and as we all well know you do not get a operation manual when you become a parent....some of us parents get it right with some mistakes on the way and others to be honest just need the clocks turned back and drowning....joe you have got it right but like most have the same old glitches.

make him sweat through his poop exit,but as you well know you will stand by him...just be sure to make his poop exit be thankful it aint chilli night on top of the heat he is feeling

 

[joec]

You got that right Gavatron, you don't a manual with them. We raised all 4 exactly the same and two turned out great two where bound to self destruct. I guess 50% is about the average at least based on my grandkids also.

 

[joec]

My wife and I have one son. He is 41. Trust me, he has cost a lot more than a van. Several vans actualy,and a few cars and.....
So what,
Still love them and the grandkids.
Still send a check every month.

I could expect my neighbors to chip in and help via taxes and redistribution. Then with all good conscience I could reach in your wallet also. After all it is not my fault...... really.

But he and his wife are family,,,,,my family,,,,
It simply is what you do...

Nonetheless man, I am sorry for your troubles. Keep your shoes though, I've already got a pair on.

franc

It isn't just the cost of this van as he has trashed a few cars, it is the legal fees for divorces which we paid for, mortgage for 2 years on a house he bought, paid off a truck he wrecked and years of loaned money. Now I don't don't count anything prior to his going in the Army as I consider that my responsibility. Kids though seem to be womb to the tomb with mothers, it sure isn't with me as a father.

 

[Galvatron]

You got that right Gavatron, you don't a manual with them. We raised all 4 exactly the same and two turned out great two where bound to self destruct. I guess 50% is about the average at least based on my grandkids also.

my eldest is from my first marriage...i am sure by my ramblings on of late you can tell she as been trying me....thankfully i think i have things sorted...i pray i have...not for me but her...she is about to deliver my second grandchild any day now and if that is not enough for her to wake up(and my groaning moaning voice)then nothing will.

good parenting which to be honest is trial and error stands them in good stead....the rest is up to them for us to sort out.

good luck joe.

 

[FrancSevin]

It isn't just the cost of this van as he has trashed a few cars, it is the legal fees for divorces which we paid for, mortgage for 2 years on a house he bought, paid off a truck he wrecked and years of loaned money. Now I don't don't count anything prior to his going in the Army as I consider that my responsibility. Kids though seem to be womb to the tomb with mothers, it sure isn't with me as a father.

ON this you and I are in complete sympatico agreement pal.



franc