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Online Dating

W

Whynot

New member
Long time lurker, first time poster here and after seeing some of the other past threads about online dating I figure this is the perfect place to vent my frustration.

Since bars aren't my scene, I figured I'd give online dating a shot well... It is :censored: annoying!!! After weeding through the thousands of women (and women, I'm sure you experience this with the guys) who want this, that, and the other, I find a handful of "normal" ladies that interest me. Narrow them down some more, and fire off emails to the few that are left. Most don't respond (which is fine, I'm guilty of it as well) and the ones that do, you begin the "getting to know you stage". If all goes well you move onto the "meet stage" and on all of the "meets" I've been on, the women have pushed for the "meet", which makes what happens even more annoying. I take time out of my day/evening and drive to where ever it is we decide to meet, which is never close to me. Things seem to go well, I pay for everything (which is not cheap around here) and then we part ways with maybe a hug, and I never to hear from them again!

WTF happened to common courtesy and saying thanks but no thanks!?

I feel better now, so I'll slip back into my corner. :smile:
 
Why do you want to screw up your life with finding a woman who will just cause you grief for the rest of your life or the length of the relationship? Find a nice prostitute and pay as you go, instead of having to go through all the bullshit of subdividing your assets somewhere down the road. Save your self from a life of misery and take up a worthwhile hobby you can do with your buddies who will accept you for who you are, and not try to change you or go after your bank account. If you manage your money well, there will be enough to provide for your long term care when the time comes. A woman will do her best to spend you into the ground, and live the high life with whatever money you leave behind.
 
The Internet is like anything else, it has it's good and bad points.

Upside is there are millions of people to connect with, share ideas, dreams and views.

Downside is there is no human contact and some people use that to abuse people.

But there is a lot of good people to meet both in person and online. Do what works for you!
 
Whynot said:
Long time lurker, first time poster here and after seeing some of the other past threads about online dating I figure this is the perfect place to vent my frustration.

Since bars aren't my scene, I figured I'd give online dating a shot well... It is :censored: annoying!!! After weeding through the thousands of women (and women, I'm sure you experience this with the guys) who want this, that, and the other, I find a handful of "normal" ladies that interest me. Narrow them down some more, and fire off emails to the few that are left. Most don't respond (which is fine, I'm guilty of it as well) and the ones that do, you begin the "getting to know you stage". If all goes well you move onto the "meet stage" and on all of the "meets" I've been on, the women have pushed for the "meet", which makes what happens even more annoying. I take time out of my day/evening and drive to where ever it is we decide to meet, which is never close to me. Things seem to go well, I pay for everything (which is not cheap around here) and then we part ways with maybe a hug, and I never to hear from them again!

WTF happened to common courtesy and saying thanks but no thanks!?

I feel better now, so I'll slip back into my corner. :smile:
Click to expand...

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with this particular aspect of your life, and I hope that things will improve for you. Take it slow, real slow, and be more astute and perhaps a little more assertive in what you want, instead of what 'she' wants. Its a two way street, and you need to stop being looked upon as a free meal ticket. Good luck!

But, moving on, its nice that you've started posting after lurking for so long. Welcome to the site, which is a good one, You'll meet some really genuine people here who will welcome you into the community, and perhaps you will enjoy the camaraderie and sharing of views and opinions with, on a regular basis.

:smile:
 
Hi Whynot. I have been fortunate in that I have never had to try online dating. If I were single and looking I'm sure I would give it a try .... but I have heard horror stories from friends who have had bad experiences to nightmare experiences. Some people get their jollies messing with others, I sure can't explain why.
Things you might ask yourself to better the experience are:
Is your description of yourself true? Do the gals meet you and they were expecting something that you are not. It is easy to mislead or embellish to a point where folks are set up to be disappointed. If all your info is right on but you still have this type of issues perhaps try other avenues like community activities or church or anything that you are interested in. If you find a gal there then you both already have that one thing in common.
Other than that all I can say is it's a tough world out there and I am sure glad I am not single and looking. Good luck.
 
And on another note - lurking since 2007? 2007! And not joining in "conversations" and bumping up to the ban button? At FF?

:wow:
 
Has it been that long? There were a few times a couple of months back when I was going to pipe up, but figured besides stirring the pot, it wouldn't have done much good. I just like to swing in for a few laughs once in awhile and to check out what the at times dysfunctional family, is up to.
 
Doc said:
Hi Whynot. I have been fortunate in that I have never had to try online dating. If I were single and looking I'm sure I would give it a try .... but I have heard horror stories from friends who have had bad experiences to nightmare experiences. Some people get their jollies messing with others, I sure can't explain why.
Things you might ask yourself to better the experience are:
Is your description of yourself true? Do the gals meet you and they were expecting something that you are not. It is easy to mislead or embellish to a point where folks are set up to be disappointed. If all your info is right on but you still have this type of issues perhaps try other avenues like community activities or church or anything that you are interested in. If you find a gal there then you both already have that one thing in common.
Other than that all I can say is it's a tough world out there and I am sure glad I am not single and looking. Good luck.
Click to expand...

All good advice Doc.

I'll fess up and admit that after the ex and I split last year, I tried the online dating thing for a bit. Like you, I met some really nice people on there and some were......um......how do you say it.....not my type!!! I've formed a few friendships on there where I have kept contact with the girls even though we both basically agreed that we're better friends then being together...no spark...so to speak.

Living in a small town as a single dad with a kid living with me full time and working full time did not allow me much opportunity to meet anyone. We have a total of 1 bar here and I couldn't care less if I ever set foot in there again. Social gatherings in our town are few. Basically, I had no interest in anyone living in this little $h-t hole swamp of the north. I took a chance at the online dating thing and met someone I can truly see myself being happy with for the rest of my life. It isn't going to happen overnight. Take your time sorting through profiles and such. Make that first date something special. Don't take a girl to a movie on the first date. You won't be able to talk and she'll think you're just out to get some necking action. Take her somewhere where you can do something fun together and still talk. For me, it was bowling and a quiet coffee house afterwards.

The sparks flew right away between us. I've been with her since the middle of April and we haven't looked back. My advice to you is be TOTALLY HONEST on your profile and don't pretend to be something you aren't. Just be yourself and you will find the right girl.
 
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