NEW UNITED AIRLINES SLOGANS...
We do Chinese takeout
All seats are now available (Competitor slogan for Southwest) We beat the competition. Not you.
Why fly the friendly skies when you can see the stars?!
Get ready to fly Board as a doctor. Leave as a patient.
Don’t make me come back there and re-accommodate you.
Now offering the Mike Tyson experience.
New boarding policy: “Eeny, menu, miney, moe…”
Is there a doctor on board?
We put hospital in hospitality
Tell us your safe word at check-in
We’ll drag you all over the world
Fly first class, business class or no class
We have red-eye and black-eye flights available
If we overbook, you’ll catch a right hook
Not enough seating? Time for a beating
There’s less than 1% chance we’ll drag you off and humiliate you and make you want to sue us. Take a chance!
Did you want a window seat or a concussion?
You gotta fight/for your right/to depart here
Fly the Alt-Friendly skies
Now with fewer Asians
Fight or flight We can re-accommodate you the easy way or the hard way
Flight: $400. Checking a bag: $25. Getting dragged down the aisle: Priceless
Beating expectations one punch at a time
Fly United, where the TSA pat-down is the fun part
Enjoy a complementary copy of SkyMaul
Comply with me
United Airlines: Pay for the seating. Stay for the beating.
Now offering one free carry-off
You might want to drive
United: Our mistakes. Your problem.
You are now free to get dragged around the cabin
Good news: We’re serving free meals again! Bad news: It’s a knuckle sandwich
The only guaranteed seats are for our employees
Our prices won’t be beat. You, however, might.
You, too, can be the subject of our next viral controversy!
Now with emotional baggage fees
We love to see you unconscious
Now with more first aid kits!
Tonight’s in-flight entertainment: Fight Club
We do Chinese takeout
All seats are now available (Competitor slogan for Southwest) We beat the competition. Not you.
Why fly the friendly skies when you can see the stars?!
Get ready to fly Board as a doctor. Leave as a patient.
Don’t make me come back there and re-accommodate you.
Now offering the Mike Tyson experience.
New boarding policy: “Eeny, menu, miney, moe…”
Is there a doctor on board?
We put hospital in hospitality
Tell us your safe word at check-in
We’ll drag you all over the world
Fly first class, business class or no class
We have red-eye and black-eye flights available
If we overbook, you’ll catch a right hook
Not enough seating? Time for a beating
There’s less than 1% chance we’ll drag you off and humiliate you and make you want to sue us. Take a chance!
Did you want a window seat or a concussion?
You gotta fight/for your right/to depart here
Fly the Alt-Friendly skies
Now with fewer Asians
Fight or flight We can re-accommodate you the easy way or the hard way
Flight: $400. Checking a bag: $25. Getting dragged down the aisle: Priceless
Beating expectations one punch at a time
Fly United, where the TSA pat-down is the fun part
Enjoy a complementary copy of SkyMaul
Comply with me
United Airlines: Pay for the seating. Stay for the beating.
Now offering one free carry-off
You might want to drive
United: Our mistakes. Your problem.
You are now free to get dragged around the cabin
Good news: We’re serving free meals again! Bad news: It’s a knuckle sandwich
The only guaranteed seats are for our employees
Our prices won’t be beat. You, however, might.
You, too, can be the subject of our next viral controversy!
Now with emotional baggage fees
We love to see you unconscious
Now with more first aid kits!
Tonight’s in-flight entertainment: Fight Club
