jpr62902
Jeanclaude Spam Banhammer
I posted this on TBN moons ago, but gawd it makes me laugh (as well as others) so I thought I do a rerun:
Back in '96, the ex and I took a road trip with Bert (R.I.P. -- the greatest Ridgeback ever) and Blitz (R.I.P. -- the greatest Rottweiler ever) to the Ridgeback national specialty show in Allentown, PA. To those of you who don't show dogs, the national specialty show is a BIG deal. Allentown is a 9 hour drive from Cincinnati, so after leaving work on a Friday afternoon, we stopped to camp south of Pittsburgh. We pitched our tent and walked our 2 furry companions. In the light rain, I lit a meager camp fire, and we dined on cold weiners and warm beers. I did not feel well. It rained all night, and our air mattress sprung a leak. After sleeping on the cold, hard, wet ground, I woke up on Day 2 feeling worse. After regurgitating, Bert promptly did me the favor of cleaning up my mess, which in turn triggered a second round of upheavals. No worries after that and we departed for our second destination, Gettysburg.
After we set up "camp" at the "Little Round Top" campground in Gettysburgh, we let Bert and Blitz loose to play a little bit. Bert chased Blitz toward a giant thorn bush. Blitz, the smart one, put the brakes on toot sweet, and Bert rushed on by, headlong through the thorn bush. He came back with a mighty prickly collar and a bunch of "thorn tattoos." Still, no worries. Bert was only entered in an obediance trial at the specialty show, not conformation (doggy beauty contest).
Day 3 -- We toured the Gettysburgh battleground (all 4 of us) and it was wonderful -- I'd venture to say, almost a spiritual experience. I'd highly recommend it. Nevertheless, it rained. No -- poured, that night. Poured as in, "Is this tiny 2 man tent with 2 people and 2 dogs in it gonna float away?" kinda pour. We all survived.
Day 4 -- We set off in a comparatively light rain toward Allentown. When we got there, it was still raining, so no camping for us (thank God). We sucked it up and got one of the last hotel rooms available in the area and settled in for a good night's rest.
Day 5 -- SUNSHINE!!! All was looking good for Bert's first appearance at the National Ridgeback Specialty show. The ex and Bert entered the ring and started Bert's obedience trial and guess what happened next?
That's right. He POOPED. Not just any ole poop, but mountain lion sized poop. After 2 previous "movements" before entering the ring. Where was he storing THAT? Now remember, this is an obediance trial. If you can't keep your dog from sh!tting in the ring, the dog must not be very obedient. Instant disqualification. So we drove home that day empty-handed in terms of obediance titles for Bert, but rich with a hilarious 5 day saga to tell.
He was a bratty, 15 toed, incorrigible chow hound, but he was all mine, and I wouldn't trade him for the world. Attached is the full sketch of Bert in all his ignominious glory.
Back in '96, the ex and I took a road trip with Bert (R.I.P. -- the greatest Ridgeback ever) and Blitz (R.I.P. -- the greatest Rottweiler ever) to the Ridgeback national specialty show in Allentown, PA. To those of you who don't show dogs, the national specialty show is a BIG deal. Allentown is a 9 hour drive from Cincinnati, so after leaving work on a Friday afternoon, we stopped to camp south of Pittsburgh. We pitched our tent and walked our 2 furry companions. In the light rain, I lit a meager camp fire, and we dined on cold weiners and warm beers. I did not feel well. It rained all night, and our air mattress sprung a leak. After sleeping on the cold, hard, wet ground, I woke up on Day 2 feeling worse. After regurgitating, Bert promptly did me the favor of cleaning up my mess, which in turn triggered a second round of upheavals. No worries after that and we departed for our second destination, Gettysburg.
After we set up "camp" at the "Little Round Top" campground in Gettysburgh, we let Bert and Blitz loose to play a little bit. Bert chased Blitz toward a giant thorn bush. Blitz, the smart one, put the brakes on toot sweet, and Bert rushed on by, headlong through the thorn bush. He came back with a mighty prickly collar and a bunch of "thorn tattoos." Still, no worries. Bert was only entered in an obediance trial at the specialty show, not conformation (doggy beauty contest).
Day 3 -- We toured the Gettysburgh battleground (all 4 of us) and it was wonderful -- I'd venture to say, almost a spiritual experience. I'd highly recommend it. Nevertheless, it rained. No -- poured, that night. Poured as in, "Is this tiny 2 man tent with 2 people and 2 dogs in it gonna float away?" kinda pour. We all survived.
Day 4 -- We set off in a comparatively light rain toward Allentown. When we got there, it was still raining, so no camping for us (thank God). We sucked it up and got one of the last hotel rooms available in the area and settled in for a good night's rest.
Day 5 -- SUNSHINE!!! All was looking good for Bert's first appearance at the National Ridgeback Specialty show. The ex and Bert entered the ring and started Bert's obedience trial and guess what happened next?
That's right. He POOPED. Not just any ole poop, but mountain lion sized poop. After 2 previous "movements" before entering the ring. Where was he storing THAT? Now remember, this is an obediance trial. If you can't keep your dog from sh!tting in the ring, the dog must not be very obedient. Instant disqualification. So we drove home that day empty-handed in terms of obediance titles for Bert, but rich with a hilarious 5 day saga to tell.
He was a bratty, 15 toed, incorrigible chow hound, but he was all mine, and I wouldn't trade him for the world. Attached is the full sketch of Bert in all his ignominious glory.
