tommu56
Bronze Member
The
'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade
teacher
I've been
teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids
myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in
my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When
I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few
sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness
and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet
turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff
like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or
limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and
talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this
little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes
her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a
pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a
snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and
I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'
'First,
Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad
put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He
ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'
She's
standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying
not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The
kids are watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two
Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica
puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around
the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is
doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
'My Dad
called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't
have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my
Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down
with her back against the wall.)
'And then, pop! My
Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got
thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed,
like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her
little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,'
and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never
even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my
brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it
was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys
inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him
for crawling up in there in the first place.'
Then
Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to
her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever
since then, when it's Show-and-tell day, I bring my
camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade
teacher
I've been
teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids
myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in
my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When
I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few
sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness
and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet
turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff
like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or
limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and
talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this
little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes
her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a
pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a
snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and
I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'
'First,
Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad
put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He
ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'
She's
standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying
not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The
kids are watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two
Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica
puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around
the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is
doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
'My Dad
called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't
have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my
Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down
with her back against the wall.)
'And then, pop! My
Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got
thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed,
like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her
little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,'
and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never
even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my
brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it
was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys
inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him
for crawling up in there in the first place.'
Then
Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to
her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever
since then, when it's Show-and-tell day, I bring my
camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.