Wow, Too many of these seem familiar...
> "IT'S A GUY THING"
> Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected
> with it, and you have no chance at all of making it
> logical."
>
> "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
> Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
>
> "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
> Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
>
> "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
> Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
>
> "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
> Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
>
> "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
> Translated: "Are you still talking?"
>
> "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
> Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the
> address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle
> identification number of every car I've ever owned... but I
> forgot your birthday."
>
> "OH, DON'T FUSS -- I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
> Translated: "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed
> to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
>
> "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
> Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
>
> "I CAN'T FIND IT."
> Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so
> I'm completely clueless."
>
> "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
> Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
>
> "I HEARD YOU."
> Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said
> and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so
> that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
>
> "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
> Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize
> it could be worse."
>
> "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
> Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm
> starving."
>
> "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
> Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
>
> "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
> Translated: "I make the messes; she cleans them up."
> "IT'S A GUY THING"
> Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected
> with it, and you have no chance at all of making it
> logical."
>
> "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
> Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
>
> "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
> Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
>
> "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
> Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
>
> "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
> Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
>
> "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
> Translated: "Are you still talking?"
>
> "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
> Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the
> address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle
> identification number of every car I've ever owned... but I
> forgot your birthday."
>
> "OH, DON'T FUSS -- I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
> Translated: "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed
> to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
>
> "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
> Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
>
> "I CAN'T FIND IT."
> Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so
> I'm completely clueless."
>
> "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
> Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
>
> "I HEARD YOU."
> Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said
> and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so
> that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
>
> "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
> Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize
> it could be worse."
>
> "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
> Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm
> starving."
>
> "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
> Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
>
> "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
> Translated: "I make the messes; she cleans them up."