DAP
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A celebritous attorney from the City of New York decides to go duck hunting in the Pine State of Maine, otherwise known as "vacation land".
One afternoon, he shoots a duck as it flys overhead but it lands on the other side of a fence in an adjacent farmer's field.
While the attorney is scaling the fence, the farmer pulls up on his tractor and stares down the fellow who has just landed on his property. The farmer says, 'scuse me fella, but what in Knox county do you think your doin?'
The lawyer looks up with a confident smile and says, "why I just shot that duck and I'm going to retrieve it."
The farmer raises an eyebrow and says quietly ... "the hell you are, that duck is on private property, MY private property, and you aren't gonna retrieve a goddamned thing."
The lawyers grins, and says to the farmer, " ummm look .. well, its like this ... I am attorney in New York City, a big town, big buildings, etcetera, maybe you've heard of it, and I'm gonna take my duck and go back over the fence and we're both gonna have a nice day. Got it? Got it.
As the lawyer takes a couple of steps towards the duck, the farmer slips off his tractor and stands right in the path of the now halted lawyer ...
The farmer says, "I don't give a goddamned mule fart who the **** you are, you best get of my land and quick."
The lawyer, now a lil nervous says, "Look, I'll sue you and your family for everything they own and give it to Greenpeace the next day. Now, can I get my duck or what?????"
The farmer then says .. 'round here, we settle things with the Maine 3 kick rule."
Lawyer looks at his watch, then the sky and says .. 'right. What's the Maine 3 kick rule?"
Farmer says .."quite simple actually. I kick you 3 times, you kick me 3 times, and we keep doin this til somebody quits, has had anuff, sorta the man ta man way to resolve a dispute."
The lawyer, giggling somewhat says "ummm well alright ... let's do it."
At this point, the farmer rears back and lands a soggy wet Rockland boot right into the crotch of the lawyer, who immediately goes to the ground in agony. Without blinking the farmer then lands another boot blow to the guy's kidneys. Still writhing on the ground, the farmer finally lays his boot right to the nose of the guy, and creates a pretty red gusher.
After a moment or 2, the lawyer, struggling to his feet and madder than a hornet has decided to take delight in retaliating! The lawyer says, "alright you ****in son of a bitch, it's my turn!"
The farmer, on the way back to his tractor turns and says, "naw, it's ok, you can have the damn duck", get's on his tractor and putts away.
One afternoon, he shoots a duck as it flys overhead but it lands on the other side of a fence in an adjacent farmer's field.
While the attorney is scaling the fence, the farmer pulls up on his tractor and stares down the fellow who has just landed on his property. The farmer says, 'scuse me fella, but what in Knox county do you think your doin?'
The lawyer looks up with a confident smile and says, "why I just shot that duck and I'm going to retrieve it."
The farmer raises an eyebrow and says quietly ... "the hell you are, that duck is on private property, MY private property, and you aren't gonna retrieve a goddamned thing."
The lawyers grins, and says to the farmer, " ummm look .. well, its like this ... I am attorney in New York City, a big town, big buildings, etcetera, maybe you've heard of it, and I'm gonna take my duck and go back over the fence and we're both gonna have a nice day. Got it? Got it.
As the lawyer takes a couple of steps towards the duck, the farmer slips off his tractor and stands right in the path of the now halted lawyer ...
The farmer says, "I don't give a goddamned mule fart who the **** you are, you best get of my land and quick."
The lawyer, now a lil nervous says, "Look, I'll sue you and your family for everything they own and give it to Greenpeace the next day. Now, can I get my duck or what?????"
The farmer then says .. 'round here, we settle things with the Maine 3 kick rule."
Lawyer looks at his watch, then the sky and says .. 'right. What's the Maine 3 kick rule?"
Farmer says .."quite simple actually. I kick you 3 times, you kick me 3 times, and we keep doin this til somebody quits, has had anuff, sorta the man ta man way to resolve a dispute."
The lawyer, giggling somewhat says "ummm well alright ... let's do it."
At this point, the farmer rears back and lands a soggy wet Rockland boot right into the crotch of the lawyer, who immediately goes to the ground in agony. Without blinking the farmer then lands another boot blow to the guy's kidneys. Still writhing on the ground, the farmer finally lays his boot right to the nose of the guy, and creates a pretty red gusher.
After a moment or 2, the lawyer, struggling to his feet and madder than a hornet has decided to take delight in retaliating! The lawyer says, "alright you ****in son of a bitch, it's my turn!"
The farmer, on the way back to his tractor turns and says, "naw, it's ok, you can have the damn duck", get's on his tractor and putts away.