Loyality and Marriage

[Junkman]

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth..........

"I think you're bad luck, GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!"

 

[LarryRB]

Overheard conversation between Ray and a fellow hillbilly:



Two fellows from West Virginia were sitting around talking one afternoon...

After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If'n I was to sneak
over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was
off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

The second fellow crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his
head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.

Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about that, but it sure would make
us even."

 

[Kane]

A few minutes before the church services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute." returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY for all eternity??" persisted Satan.
"Yep." was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?!" asked Satan.
"Nope."
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me? " The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."