Leni
Active member
>Lawyers should never ask a southern grandma a question if they are not
>prepared for the answer.
>
>In a trial, a southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
>witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and
>asked, "Mrs. Sanders, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I know
>you Mr. Desmond. I've known you since you were a young boy and frankly
>you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your
>wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
>You think you are a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize that
>you will never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
>Yes, I know you.
>
>The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
>the room and asked, "Mrs. Sanders, do you know the defense attorney?"
>She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Cristofaro since he
>was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
>problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
>practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
>cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your
>wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died.
>
>The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a very
>quiet voice said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she know me, I'll
>send you to the electric chair."
>
>prepared for the answer.
>
>In a trial, a southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
>witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and
>asked, "Mrs. Sanders, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I know
>you Mr. Desmond. I've known you since you were a young boy and frankly
>you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your
>wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
>You think you are a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize that
>you will never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
>Yes, I know you.
>
>The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
>the room and asked, "Mrs. Sanders, do you know the defense attorney?"
>She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Cristofaro since he
>was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
>problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
>practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
>cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your
>wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died.
>
>The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a very
>quiet voice said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she know me, I'll
>send you to the electric chair."
>
