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Just moved to Texas

bczoom

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Just moved to Texas...



Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.



June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.



July 1st: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.



July 8th: Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.



July 11th: I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and Bits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.



July 12th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the Fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.



July 15th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?



July 18th: Its 108 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.



July 20th: If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!



July 22nd: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my butt was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and butt . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried flesh, and baked cat.



July 24th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do crap for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing now, so my $1700 worth of cactus are drying up and blowing over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.



July 25th: Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Texas . What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.
 
I got the same one yesterday from my brother in Alaska only it had this added first paragraph. It would be even more funny if it wasn't so true . :yum:

'Hot enough for you today?'

I moved to Kansas in April! Now this is a state that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
 
Damn Northerners!!!!!

Move to Texas to get away from the cold and then complain about the heat. :biggrin::biggrin:

We just got to 31 straight days of 100 and above and 39 days this year. It's supposed to break tomorrow and only get to 98 for a couple of days but then, guess what? ..... back up to above 100.

Heck, I'll admit it, if it were possible, I'd get the hell out of Texas too. :hammer::hammer::hammer:
 
The devil wanted a place on earth
Sort of a summer home
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.

So he picked out Texas
A place both wretched and rough
Where the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys hardened and tough.
He dried up the streams in the canyons
And ordered no rain to fall
He dried up the lakes in the valleys
Then baked and scorched it all.
Then over his barren country
He transplanted shrubs from hell.
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear
The climate suited them well.

Now the home was much to his liking
But animal life, he had none.
So he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.
First he made the rattlesnake
With it's forked poisonous tongue.
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow it's young.

Then he made scorpions and lizards
And the ugly old horned toad.
He placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the road.
Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter, Hotter and hotter still.
Until even the cactus wilted
And the old horned lizard took ill.

Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
As any creator would
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted that it was good.
'Twas summer now and Satan lay
By a prickly pear to rest.
The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow
So he took off his coat and vest.

"By Golly," he finally panted,
"I did my job too well,
I'm going back to where I came from,
Texas is hotter than Hell."
 
We just got to 31 straight days of 100 and above and 39 days this year. It's supposed to break tomorrow and only get to 98 for a couple of days but then, guess what? ..... back up to above 100.


Just a quick update. It didn't quite work as expected. Both of those "cooler" days topped out at 100 so the streak is alive and well and still rolling along. Supposed to be 110 today with no immediate relief in sight.

When they say that Texas is a helluva place, they got it right.
 
Just a quick update. It didn't quite work as expected. Both of those "cooler" days topped out at 100 so the streak is alive and well and still rolling along. Supposed to be 110 today with no immediate relief in sight.

When they say that Texas is a helluva place, they got it right.
I hope Ya get a break soon Frank . :wink:

It was only supposed to be 96 here yesterday but it hit 104 , storms moved in and we finally got some much needed rain and its not to bad today or tommorow with more storms the next 36 hours off and on . We lost a few trees from the wind as well as downed Power poles in surrounding areas but it was worth it as far as I'm concerned . Hang in there maybe you'll get lucky too. :smile:
 
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