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is it a good or bad idea to let my daughter visit her mom in jail?

1924

New member
My wife, who is also mother of my fourteen year old is in jail for six months for a financial crime. I am willing to stick by her and not leave her because I feel She made some stupid mistakes but it was out of character so I think she just got herself into a bad situation and make some poor decisions, She also never did anything bad at all before this And I am not defending her or saying she should not serve her punishment. I told my daughter we should be glad her mother is serving time for her actions. Doing the right thing for her mistakes. Also, her mother is showing regret and no defense at what she did . I am thinking of letting my daughter visit her and have her still be involved with her child because she was never an absent or abusive parent or anything. Some might say sticking by her is being enabling but I just cannot agree
I think it is good to prepare in advance for her absence for the next six months. I wonder what are some good ways to do so, we still have time one of the things we must figure out is how to prepare for this upcoming incarceration. What are some good ways especially for each person to prepare for this?
My daughter seems to be taking it fine , she also said it is kind of funny that her mother is locked up and is now the one being ordered around by others. This is weird because she never had a bad relationship with her mother. I asked what she meant and she said she was just joking. I think that is OK to try to crack a joke to make the situation feel less bad and that a better way of handing the situation instead of being hysterical about itshould I take her to visit her mother when she is in jail, or is it a bad idea? My wife says she can come if she wants to. But even if she wants to it could be a bad environment. Also, seeing her mother in jail (which I hear is very de humanizing) could be a bad image. Her mom will be dressed in a jail uniform and is of course rightfully being treated like any other inmate but that might send a "normalizing" message to my daughter -I hear it is a hassle to get in. Also, seeing other inmates or even police officers could be intimidating to a young girlIf I do allow her what should I tell her in advance to prepare her? Is it a good idea for her to ask her mother questions about all this?
 
It might be a good idea to discuss this with a professional. Your daughter said that she was just making a joke but still waters run deep. She could be keeping a lot bottled up in her. She's right at that age when things are difficult enough without her mom being in jail.
 
been in your shoes in the past. kids wanted to see their mom I grudgingly took them down her stay in the crowbar motel was short lived over some stupid stuff I made it clear this is not to be equated to a deployment. and going to the big house isn't a right of passage and nothing to be proud of.
 
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