dzalphakilo
Banned
My parent were married for forty plus years.
Mom passed away three years ago, I was lucky enough to fly up for one day and spend eight hours with her at the hospital, and I was the one who got to tell the doctors at two am to take her off "life support" and watch her die (my father couldn't "make the decision" and be in the same room with her).
For what it's worth, I'm an only child.
Dad is seventy four years old, lives by himself up in Pa.
Dad is still very active, still on the town council, works part time at a fly fishing shop, golfs regularly, bowls regularly, and heads out to Montana to fly fish every year.
When I spent the last eight hours with my mom, we talked about my dad. Both my mom and I knew her chances of living were not very good. She told to to watch out for him, and she wondered how he was going to "make it" without her.
After she passed away, I seriously thought he wouldn't make it past the first year.
Well, he's doing pretty good, and he likes spending time with my wife and me. The house we bought is large enough for him to move in with us, without us "getting in each others hair" so to speak. After two years dad is actually talking about coming down to be with us.
What I'm questioning is the fact that I'm trying to play "matchmaker" for my father. Met a nice lady who does voulenteer (sp?) work, about the same age, and seems pretty fit (shouldn't matter, but dad was always "one on the go" and that's what he loved about mom).
Got alot of myself from my father. He was a "lifer" in the military, been all over the world, retiered (sp?) from "two other jobs" and isn't afraid of trying somthing new (he's one of the few guys I know that drives a convertable and "blasts" his polkas while at a stop light).
Anyone here ever been in the same situation?
I'm feeling guilty because I knew how much my mother loved both my father and myself, and here I am trying to "set him up" with someone else.
I'm feeling like I'm trying to "destroy" the memories that my father had with my mother.
I know my mom wants best for my father, and I know he dosen't have the opportunity to meet another woman in the area he lives that likes the same things he dose (such a big band music or traveling).
Again, anyone here ever go throught the same "thing".
Any thougths would be appreciative (sp?).
Thks
Mom passed away three years ago, I was lucky enough to fly up for one day and spend eight hours with her at the hospital, and I was the one who got to tell the doctors at two am to take her off "life support" and watch her die (my father couldn't "make the decision" and be in the same room with her).
For what it's worth, I'm an only child.
Dad is seventy four years old, lives by himself up in Pa.
Dad is still very active, still on the town council, works part time at a fly fishing shop, golfs regularly, bowls regularly, and heads out to Montana to fly fish every year.
When I spent the last eight hours with my mom, we talked about my dad. Both my mom and I knew her chances of living were not very good. She told to to watch out for him, and she wondered how he was going to "make it" without her.
After she passed away, I seriously thought he wouldn't make it past the first year.
Well, he's doing pretty good, and he likes spending time with my wife and me. The house we bought is large enough for him to move in with us, without us "getting in each others hair" so to speak. After two years dad is actually talking about coming down to be with us.
What I'm questioning is the fact that I'm trying to play "matchmaker" for my father. Met a nice lady who does voulenteer (sp?) work, about the same age, and seems pretty fit (shouldn't matter, but dad was always "one on the go" and that's what he loved about mom).
Got alot of myself from my father. He was a "lifer" in the military, been all over the world, retiered (sp?) from "two other jobs" and isn't afraid of trying somthing new (he's one of the few guys I know that drives a convertable and "blasts" his polkas while at a stop light).
Anyone here ever been in the same situation?
I'm feeling guilty because I knew how much my mother loved both my father and myself, and here I am trying to "set him up" with someone else.
I'm feeling like I'm trying to "destroy" the memories that my father had with my mother.
I know my mom wants best for my father, and I know he dosen't have the opportunity to meet another woman in the area he lives that likes the same things he dose (such a big band music or traveling).
Again, anyone here ever go throught the same "thing".
Any thougths would be appreciative (sp?).
Thks