- Salmonella won't be a concern
- No one will overeat.
- Everyone will think it's Cajun Blackened.
- Uninvited guests will think twice next year.
- Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newly found appreciation.
- Pets won't pester you for scraps.
- The smoke alarm was due for a test.
- Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.
- After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.
- The less turkey Uncle George eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.
- You'll get to the desserts quicker.
- You won't have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.
