If My Body Were A Car

[Leni]

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ... But that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --



Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

 

[muleman]

Good one Leni!

 

[squerly]

lol

 

[ki0ho]

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires![/QUOTE]

A couple of damage control plugs will take care of that!!!! No problem

 

[Leni]

Only if they work in the human body.

 

[ki0ho]

Only if they work in the human body.

They will work just fine.......ask any marener they will get ya some.......

 

[Dmorency]

If I had a car with all of those problems, I'd bet the rear suspension is starting to sag and it left skid marks when it backfired also.

 

[ki0ho]

Imbetting it would have a bad case of Kali...forn rake to boot!!!!!!!










come to think ......i hope no one gets a look at my car body!!!!!!!!!!!!





an old bathtub nash with a mashed front end......and all 4 springs sagin!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Kane]

I can imagine a more clever list, if 1) adapted specifically to the male car, and 2) adapted to the female car. But I ain't goin' there.

Old stick shifts and air bags come to mind.